Salt Lake Telegram | 1934-05-16 | Page 4 | Walter Winchell on Broadway

Walter Winchell J I ON BROADWAY BROADWAY- Portrait of a Man Talking to Himself What a fine spot to put a guy I mean the Universal Service sleuth who asked I If you were single again which of at five movie stars would you ou want to wed And what five wouldn't I 11 VeIl Wll I told him him Of the five selections Katharine Hepburn because of her intellect Myrna Loy because of her appeal and allure Joan Crawford because of her naturalness Kay Francis because of her charm and June Aster Mrs MiS Winchell for and loveliness love love- liness hiness Ot Of the five girls I dont don't think I I could be happy with there is Tallulah too Bankhead-too fickle Greta too Garbo-too melancholy Ruth too Chatterton-too aloof aloof- Jean Harlow too sexy and last and by all means Mae least too West much Or a Psychiatrist On the other hand not one of them I suspect would have me i I certainly haven't the appeal appeal ap- ap peal of Mr Franchot Tone although I think I can do a better column than he can It is very that likely aU all of at the girl mentioned would spurn me for other reasons including the fact that they are too restless to be neglected for one thing I know r I could not be happy as the husband of a woman who is a star or the publics public's favorite Shed She'd make me feel inferior I think getting her picture in the papers and the movie magazines Nor would I want my wife to go traipsing into anybody's magazine wearing her Or posing for news photographers on an incoming liner with her shafts crossed revealing her opera opera- length stockings I wouldn't- wouldn't like having the theone theone one I adored tempting potential lovers Although Al- Al though if such photos dIdn't hold my attention attention- Id I'd see a doctor Just Like Greta G. G That recent Cinderella Ball had the jud judges es a little dizzy They discovered that the WInner couldn't get the size 2 2 1 shoes on her feet So they had to take her picture with the shoes only half haIt on I lUke like this one of at Sam Lewis Lewis' old song lyrics The liThe only writing rule to remember when writing to your mother is isto isto to cross the ts t's with kisses her tears will vill dot the theis is Hearts Are Different That chap Confucius was good too He observed observed ob- ob served that with a bow and arrow a man could reach up to the top of an impenetrable mountaIn and bring a bird that was resting there down to his feet With a rod and t he could reach a fish that made its home at the bottom of the sea and bring it to his feet feet Yet this thi same man standing right next to another man IS most often unable to reach the others other's heart In- In letter letter- from Jack Johnson former cham- cham pion He threw a dinner for his newspaper friends recently His invite to me contained this pang between the lines And so I leave you with the thought that a good right cross to the chin isn't half as tough to shake off off-as fair weather pals pals- if they think the su ar bowl is empty