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Show Midgtt Horse IT WAS calling day at the Insane asylum. One of the inmates, a harmless - looking little fellow, seemed to be inclined toward playfulness, play-fulness, and one of the visitors decided de-cided to humor him. The inmate cupped his hands as If he were holding something in them. "What do you think I've got here?" he challenged. "A million dollars?" the visitor ventured. The inmate peeked between his hands. "No," he replied; "try again." "A motor car?" "No," said the inmate. "A steam engine?" "No." "Is it a horse?" the visitor finally ventured. The inmate's face fell. Looking his visitor squarely In the eye. he demanded, "What color?" Muddled Mcehanles A student defined the difference between a bolt and a nut: "A bolt is a thing like a stick of hard metal such as iron with a square chunk on one end and a lot of scratching wound around the other end. "A nut is similar to the bolt only the opposite, being a hole in a little chunk of iron, sawed off short, with wrinkles around the inside of the hole." ACTS OF AGGRESSION Magistrate What started the trouble between you and the plaintiff? plain-tiff? Defendant Well, your honor, it was like this. 'E threw 'is beer over me I 'its 'im across the face wiv my bag of tools then 'e cuts my 'ead open wiv a bottle and the next thing we knows we find ourselves our-selves quarrelin'l Closing AH Gaps Little Helen confessed her infatuation infatu-ation for a local actor and asked her father to invite the star to dinner, din-ner, which he agreed to do the next night. "But, Daddy," Helen wailed, "I just lost two teeth. Can't we wait until my new ones grow back in?" , Thereupon Helen's five-year-old brother spoke up: "Well, if you'd keep your mouth shut some of the time, the gaps wouldn't show so much." One lie Can Handle Girl Father is so pleased to hear that you are a poet. Boy Is he? That makes me divinely happy. Girl You see he tried to throw out my last boy friend and he was a wrestler. Then He Retired A familiar "man-about-the-court-house" was being discussed. "He used to be powerfully energetic," ener-getic," one old observer said. "For years he chased around like mad trying to get a political job." "What does he do now?" someone some-one asked. "Nothing. He got the job." CHIEF OPERATOR fj AFTER VOO wmmm I THE DISHrS i W MOP THty- m "Bumble says he's the boss he . really runs his house." "That's right. He runs the lawn mower, washing machine, vacuum sweeper, the baby carriage and all the errands." With Silver Bullet Woman Customer (in bank) I would like to make a loan. Bank Official- You'll have to see the lo;in arranger. Woman Who? Official The loan arranger, the loan arranger. Woman Oh, you mean the one who says, "Hi-Ho Silver'"' t |
