Show He Has to Balance the Budget When the Subject Is Tax Cuts Cubs Everybody's Everybody Happy Except t a m m ff B By Frederick C. C Othman V WASHINGTON The The ASHINGTON-The The subject was tax cuts and oh boy Everybody Everybody Everybody Every Every- body in the gold-draped gold sanctum of the ways and means committee commit commit- tee was happy except Honest Honest- John Snyder His theory was if he g-a g have gave ve in one place hed he'd have to take in another and the only people to whom he offered gifts without nicks were non- non voters namely Babies On baby oils and lotions hed he'd remove the 20 tax altogether Otherwise he was a hard haid man and grim in m a pink checked way He offered to cut his take tale on fur coats pearl necklaces and suitcases to 10 Hed He'd also cut the tax on railroad tickets telegrams telegrams telegrams tele tele- grams and long-distance long phone calls But not one cent did he heoffer heoffer heoffer offer to save the fans of movies the drinkers of whisky nor the burners of midnight oil like me Mental Telepathy I started at the back of his well well neck in a vain effort at mental telepathy My idea was to persuade him to do something the story about the illiterate old Negro who had been told that his hisson hisson hisson son had married Look here boy is you married married married mar mar- ried I aint said I aint I aint asked you ou is you aint I asked you is you is Is you 1 Therefore my final recommendation recommendation dation is Dont Don't use aint at all For a more detailed discussion of aint and the ungrammatical affectation arent I 17 send in coin and a stamped self ad self self-ad-I dresS dressed d envelope to Mr Colby care of The Salt Lake Tribune- Tribune Telegram Home Service Bureau I Salt Lake City 10 Utah about electric light bulbs But not him He plans to continue allowing me to work all hours in order to pay my income tax tax tax- and then sock me an extra tax on the light I use The secretary of the Treasury in his dark blue testifying suit read a statement 26 single- single spaced pages long This took him one hour and a half but he ended in good voice removing his rimless rimless rimless rim rim- less eyeglasses could have stood a good polishing and took tooka a long sip of water from a paper cup Then came the deluge in the form of questions from congressmen congressI congress congress- I men who seemed to agree with hardly anything he said Intend to Slash I got the idea that they intend Intend in intend In- In tend to slash a lot more excise taxes than he mentioned no matter what he thinks Rep John D. D Dingell the Democratic Democratic Democratic Dem Dem- stalwart from Detroit said he was going to dedicate himself to getting all the wartime wartime wartime war war- time excises wiped off the books After all he said when congress passed em it promised to forget em cm when the shooting stopped And the war has been over a along along along long time he added pensively Snyder gulped These excise taxes bring in the government about a year Snyder would reduce them only by about and while he is about it hed he'd put puta a bite on television sets That's an odd one When congress was taxing everything e in sight in 1913 to get money for the war it put a healthy impost on radio sets and phonographs But there wasn't any television then and so the law didn't mention it Take Their Cut So television sets as such arent aren't taxed at all though Snyder's Snyders Snyders Snyder's Snyders Snyder's ders der's hard-boiled hard collectors take tale their cut on that part of each box which they consider to be a aradio aradio aradio radio set What hat this does to the bookkeeping department of the I radio makers maker's is a piteous thing while all the tempers lost in trying trying trying try try- ing to figure out which bunch of wires is a radio and which is television would warm a hydrogen hydrogen hydrogen hydro hydro- gen bomb to the explosion point The lawgivers will listen to the theother theother theother other government big shots on taxes in inthe the next few days Then they'll listen to the wails of those who claim the excises are i driving them into bankruptcy Chances of some sort of a tax slash this season seem excellent and I 1 dont don't guess Ill I'll buy a new wrist watch until the boys make malce makeup makeup up their minds Which is the trouble according to the jewelers jewel jewel- ers everybody's waiting walling while Uncle Samuel tries to decide how far hell he'll hand out of his citizens citizens' pockets Copyright ht 1950 by United Feature Syndicate |