Show 0 Ti I More Truth Than rhan V Poetry I 0 0 V I By JAMES J J. J MONTAGUE I 0 EASY LESSONS V. V How to Write a Popular Novel My son If you pine as aa an author to shine And broadcast your laurels afar You must make It It the aim of ot your life to proclaim How stu stupid ld your countrymen are i Dont Don't take any pains to find people with brains But se seek k the unread and taught ill-taught V VGo I Go look for a crowd that i is barely endo endowed ed Wit With a single original thought 3 Be bitter and rough with satirical stuff stuff- Write most of cf your lines with a a. hammer hammer- V Quote speeches to show how little folks know Of culture good breeding or grammar mar Make Malie ir It Perfectly clear that your book is a It sneer At life as men live it today AId that V S you U h have Vf a f scorn scorn orn that can hardly be borne For Tv For frail and inferior clay Whatever they do as their ways they pursue 4 Reveal as dull banal and bas base base- Make e it plain to be seen that they're petty and meanA mean mean- V A small-minded small fatuous f race t V V Do not seek to conceal how above them you f feel feel- al l-I l Poor boisterous gregarious greg boors boors boors- V I I Who in horror would wOld gasp if they ever could I grasp P The wit of a novel like yours V V v 11 V i Write a book book of of this Id kind d and you'll speedily sp edny find V That youve you've leaped into fame overnight And that people like you there othere o there are scads of em em m I too too- Will read you OU with eager delight V We Ve assure ure you ou my son that the genera general run Of humanity near and afar afar afar- ar- ar Though this truth makes jt us grieve grieve are are q prone to believe V That they're better than other folks are are V V TO BE EXPECTED I IThe J The The ex kaisers wife Is apparently getting b better I a acquainted with him She has gone to live In another another an- an other castle V V NOT MUCH HOPE EITHER V I V This country will have better citizens when the tho exports of that commodity equals the Imports Importe TOO LATE NOW V Funny It never occurred d to the ice producers to arrange for a a. strike last last- winter Copyright 1923 by ty the Bell Syndicate Inc |