| Show Pitching Horseshoes Kansas City Product Leads Field for Girl All-Girl T Team earn By BIll Billy Rose The other night too full of coffee and conversation to go home a group of us were discussing candidates candidates candidates candi candi- dates for an time all-time girl all-girl football football foot foot- ball ban team I move me consider Catherine de de' Medici for one of the tackles said a vaudeville agent who had read a book No gal in history ever took more guys out of play How about Helen of Troy for fullback a sportswriter suggested sug sug- bested According to the records records records rec rec- she originated originated originated origin origin- the hidden ball trick Ill bu buy that said sad a police reporter reporter re re- porter and if iC it you want a good goodmoney goodmoney goodmoney money player at center how about Genevieve P Pad Pad- a d Gen Genevieve e v vie e v e who vho I asked T The h e reporter Billy ill Rose gave me the look that patronizes he said The sitting standing running jumping all- all time champ of the Pass the cream I said and tell me about her dig by dig and clip by clip Liked doll Bo-doll Boy dolls Well Vell the newspaperman began began began be be- gan in 1883 a gal-baby gal named Margaret Heath McKinney McKinne was born of or normal parents in a normal normal normal nor nor- mal town called Kansas City Her childhood was also normal except that tha t she only played with dolls boy-dolls and kept the lads on her block broke buying her jawbreakers Stop making like Kings Row said the Ule sportswriter and tell us what she did as a woman When she was a sweet and main main-chancey 16 the reporter went on she changed her name to Genevieve married a gent named Toomey and moved to St. St Paul This Toomey was a big railroad railroad railroad rail rail- road man but within five years he didn't know where his next locomotive locomotive locomotive loco loco- motive was coming from Genevieve Genevieve Gene Gene- vieve was the kind o of dame who would walk into a jewelry store and say Wrap up this counter please and after a while even Minneapolis began bra bragging ging about the parties she was throwing in inSL St SL Paul In 1904 Toomey finally yelled Ouch and divorced her naming a well do physician as t. t Stint In Chorus Chon We Ve next pick up our babe In New York where she did a stint as asa asa asa a chorus girl and where she caught the eye and aye o of Ben Teal a wealthy theatrical producer In 1906 Mrs Toomey became Mrs Teal and forthwith set out to buy buyher buyher buyher her way into society with ith her husbands husband's husbands husband's husbands husband's hus hus- bands band's money But unfortunately our little g got Involved in a swanky divorce case committed com com- perjury and was sent to prison for a year Two months after she was freed Teal sued her for divorce naming the maitre d' d of one of New Yorks York's large hot hotels ls But before before before be be- beI I fore the case could be brought to court Teal died and Genevieve threw an funeral for her dead and double-dealt double departed This sepulchral shindig of course was on the cuff and when the undertaker undertook to collect his bill bUl Genevieve caught the first train out of town Search for Oil Figuring that where theres there's Texas theres there's oil she went to Galveston Galveston Gal- Gal veston checked into the best hotel and started prospecting for prospects pros pros- She let it be noised around that she was the widow of a famous Broadway playwright and composer and in no time at all had her manicured hooks in an well oil-well named Paddle- Paddle ford For five flighty years Geneneve Genevieve Genevieve Gene- Gene vieve neve spent his dough as fast as it came out of the ground and when Petroleum Pete f finally nally gave her herthe herthe herthe the boot she packed 21 trunks and lit out for Europe There she traveled from spa to spa being careful to swindle only the best hotels and when she ran out of resorts she moved to Asia In Bombay Bombay Bombay Bom Bom- bay she married a millionaire 1 named Howells talked sweet-talked him into buying her an Egyptian palace palace palace pal pal- ace and began beg working her way through the 14 But the undertaker shed she'd taken read about the marriage marriage marriage mar mar- in the New York papers and being one of those gents who believe believe believe be lieve in live and let live but live but not for long he sent Howells a complete complete complete com com- report on his spendthrift spouse A year later Genevieve e turned up in America again where she lost no time in honeying up to a arich arich arich rich Brooklyn dental They were married on schedule schedule her her schedule that Is Is- Is but again the mean old undertaker blew the whistle on her and the marriage was annuled before she could get away vay with any part of hubby's bridgework How About Age This round robin must have chewed up quite a few years years the sportswriter s said aid a I d admiringly old age slow Genevieve up Not sos so's you could notice it said the reporter although the tooth tycoon was her last husband For a dozen years after that she and goldbricked her way around the country and it was the thc cops rather than old a age e that finally stopped her In 1936 she was arrested in Walla Valla Walla Valla for larceny and five years later the Maharani of Make passed away peacefully in her cell Case proved said the thc vaudeville vaudeville vaudeville vaude vaude- ville agent Genevieve qualifies for center Okay said the sportswriter if you'll accept Cleopatra as one of the ends You cant can't ignore the thc gal who intercepted a forward pass and saved the game for Egypt And we mustn't forget Peggy Joyce said the reporter Now theres there's a girl who Copyright 1948 19 by Billy Rose |
