Show Pitching Horseshoes By I Billy Rose A dozen doun people once staged a down alt strike against me What's Whit so 10 worthy column about that except Nothing Nothing except that the strikers strikers ers era were duk dukes earls earla counts and barons baron But let me spilt spill it with an eye- eye dropper In 1937 1931 I was running the midway midway mid mid- way at the Fort Worth exposition deep in the heart o of y you you- you 0 u. u know what The feature feature fea fea- ture of ot this sagebrush sagebrush sagebrush sage sage- brush spectacle spectacle was Wal a s seat at nit theater restaurant restaurant rant called Casa Can CasaM Manana M Man a n a n a The previous pre y year yea e r those seats eats had been beel sat on plenty plent My problem problem lem in 1937 wa was waif f Billy Rose ROMS Roseto Ro to figure out the he hokum and hoopla which would get them sat on some more What to do 1 Hire more girls to please pleas the male customers Hardly I was already using more girls than there are in Rhode Island bland Well then how ab about t hiring some gents to please the lady customers Moved seconded and d carried Now what gents What was waa 1 the fanciest dream stuff in suspenders sue sus penders Hollywood actors Old hat and too expensive College boys Not bad but liable to break up the furniture Noblemen dukes counts barons Ah an Ah-an an interesting notion Might draw a lot of oC business J. J No one is more snobbish than the wife wit of a good Democrat Idea lends lenas itself to ban ballyhoo Polka ballyhoo h Polka with a Prince Buddy Buddy up up to to toa a Baron Baton Cuddle with a Count Hurry Hurry Hurry Call Calls Press Agent 1 I picked up the telephone and called caned my press agent In New NewYork York Dick I said to Maney I want to hire a couple thousand pounds of ot peerage as dancing partners partners part part- ners Can do said Maney Theres Theresa a noblemen's association which meets once a month at at the St. St Moritz hotel I think its it's affiliated with the C CIO I 10 0 Tell them the job lob pays pas 75 a week I said and they can keep all the tips and oil heiresses they get geL And get me a baroness to to Introduce these noblemen to the gals who want vant to dance with them The n next t day Maney ran a help wanted ad which began Noblemen No Noblemen Noblemen wanted wanted and ended Sons Sana of or the Dauphin will receive rece short abort shrift Dick called me that evening evening evening eve eve- ning and told me several hundred had applied and he had selected a dozen whose blood was wu not riot only blue but deep purple How about my baroness I asked Class Flat Shape I Z got you one In first class condition con con- said Maney except for forthe forthe forthe the Charley CharlSy Charl y horse she got curtsying curtsy curtsy- ing at the court of at St. St James A week l later ter I was down at atthe atthe atthe the Fort Worth station to see them come in And nd what a darling darling darling dar dar- ling set sel of at people they were Charming witty and civilized They treated the whole thing as asa asa a daffy adventure The baroness summed it up when she said This is the most fun tun Ive I've had since the old baron split his trous trousers trousers trousers' trou trou- s sers sers' rs' rs riding to the hounds Seeing as how they put on no fake take airs aira Fort Worth took to them like Uke a kid to cotton cand candy The tattered titles were entertained entertained entertained enter enter- in the best hom homes homed and not once was a six shooter emptied around their heels And as M dancing dancing dancing ing partners at the Casa Manana they w were re in great demand Whenever Whenever When When- ever a lady customer felt like tangoing with a title litle the baroness would introduce one of the noblemen noble noble- men It t was all very formal orm l and both Europe and Cowtown did th themselves s proud One day during the middle of ot the season lealOn an assistant bounced into the conditioned air-conditioned log cabin I waa was using as an office Theresa There Theres a prince outside to see lee you he announced We Ve have no princes on our pay payroll payroll roll rol roll X J. nl said Dick Vick Ick Maney aney couldn't dig up anything better than a duke i Ah flAb but there will be a prince I on your pay roll ron chirped a littleman little littleman man In the doorway It was wu my old friend Prince Mike Romanoff the king of bogus Today Mike owns the swankiest eatery In Hollywood but In 1937 when he showed up in Fort Worth all he had was anold an anold anold old j jalopy 17 cents and a teacup of ot gas gu What brings you to the tha pampas pampas pam pam- pas pu 1 I 1 asked Mike Mika I 1 hear youre you're paying 75 and supplying tr free e monocle polish said Mid the ragbag royalist You ou haven't ha a prince on the lot Im I'm your prince Naturally I engaged him Mike is a classy dusy little gent and I figured figured figured fig fig- hed he'd be good copy for the I ne newspaper spa er boys 1 New Ness Spreads The news that Romanoff was wad I going to join us through the th midway After dinner I lei lei- es escorted ei- ei Mike over to the Casa Cua Ma Ma- nana nat The prince had put an extra high polish on his eyepiece and was leas all aU set to begin dancing for his doughnuts But when I got to the b box x where the noblemen n sat ut between dance assignments I sensed there wa was was' something ng wren wrong The baroness barone met me ma and said ld This Is 18 a strike None of ot us ua will set let foot on the th dance floor noor until that imposter Is U fired Youre asking for a cio closed d shop hop I flipped Every red- red blooded American Is II entitled to a a. chance chanco to become a prince prince- Sorry said one of the dukes politely We have reached a point where we e have n nothing to lose lose- but our titles The commoner m must st go At first I thought they were kidding When I realized they weren't I bowed and said KId It shall be as aa you wish The next morning I staked taked Mike lIke a ato to a little cash cath and a lot of ot gasoline gaso guo line Une and he headed for tor Hollywood Why did I give in so 80 easily eully to the noblemen V Well ll what would you do If a aguy aguy aguy guy got gol up on a chair and hollered of at the world unite Distributed by Bell BeU Syndicate Inc |