| Show MARY HAWORTH SAYS SAYS' M Marriage fears Fears Are Are Due D j e t to to Self Complex SeH- SeH n pJ Dear Mary far Haworth Three years ag ago 1 I t I lost loat my father and nd I 4 left college to help my mother take taie ov overt over r his his' real estate bust busi ness I am now 23 and for two years yeara have ave been b n going with th a ayoung ayoung young doctor whom I 1 love very dearly He lie wants wante to marry me inc and he is well able to support a wife His ils parents like me Very v ry much and think we sn should uld get married But tp the problem is 1 I dont don't get married yet ye It It isn't that J 1 want anybody else Iw I went nt round around quite ea a bit before me meeting him alwa always with with- nice young Oung people e and d since Bin knowing him ho n gathering stems seems complete unless he is there My mother doe doesn't stand I in the e eI eway way Sh o. o and DI Dick are ie devoted I to each other Also she is fa Is' Is young ng and and attractive has hu money enough for personal ae se security e and nd she he urges me t to g get t. t m married At times Tarn thrilled by by- bythe the prospect and n feel eel sure aure re reId Id I'd lie e very verj happy Ye Yet when when it ft comes come to setti setting g the date dat I 1 getso get getso so panicky I 1 even contemplate rie never er seeing Dick again but bU I Ic I 1 c c cant can't nt n t seem to stay away from himI him In I high school I w was out to be bethe bethe bethe the roost most r ot popular girl In my ray class I 1 worked hard at t it andI and nd I succeeded eded but how now now- I 1 wish I 1 h hadn't IwaS I was popular with girls as well as aa boys bOYi and you know the tho way way girls talk about the facts of ot life Ufe I know I g got some m very distorted ideas of married life from that Bo source e and a. a bo boh both mother and I 1 think that ails alls aIls me me V. no now For myself I would be content to drag along for tor a while as I f feel el that that even even even- tu lly we will g get t married ButI But ButI ButI I know this isn't fair to Dick It would break my heart to let him go but bu I shall if It you thi think k kit it best Do you you- think J rl could ev ever r be happy in marriage I I. certainly am not happy now D DC C Anxiety Deep Deep-B Deep Booted o DearD C. C The Theft et fact C that ty you u worked ed hard hard tobe to be the most pop popular ular girl in your class during high school provides the clue clu to what ails aUs you I 1 think That performance ce indicates great self You ou were afraid yo you didn't have what What it it- takes tak to be beloved loved rand accepted so you worked lUke like crazy to sell eCu your YOUrL self and anu sundry The same fear grips you at the prospect of that marriage thatis t te lis when it it I comes right down to wading into lit it You ark arb r afra afraid that Dick will be bo disappointed in you probably ly in the e sex rela relationship since since it is evident that a mor mor- morbid bid attitude toward th the so so- 80 c called facts factS- of life figures ei In 4 Y You advance the theory U that a. a p I school ach ol gabfests distorted your Our ur I thinking Primarily t that so ao Doubtless eu y you g got t many any absurdly unsound ideas from that but bu the trouble much goes gOes uch deeper You ou lapped up such welt conservation U n because driven by troubled conc concern concern con con- c cern rn with willi the s Actually Actual Actual- ly l you suffer from from an anxiety ety neurosis Ue tied in with a guilt cOrn cOrn- com complex m- m plex centering on on sex phenomena na naj probably because your ui e early childish j pre preoccupation cc with s 's sex x xa a a normal ir trait traIt l became fo for Bo some e reason I strongly 8 colored with willi a sense of guilty self re re- re thus giving you youa a hypnotic hypnotic hypnotic hyp hyp- fear of sex plus plu 1 a J low private vate opinion of yourself gen gen- orally c Needs Ne Insight Be Because you are are are-an an f intelligent person and I think sincerely ln in inlove love with Dick as he ho is with you I b believe lIeve you have it in your f 1 power to help create a very happy happy hap hap- py marriage with Ith him But Bu todo to todo todo do so BO you must stop being an evasive coWa coward waiting In vain for time to solve things You should have a 8 psychiatrist or r psychoanalyst help you disinter the th skeletons of ot childish anxieties arid and hd false a se c concepts now burie buried ln y your ur subconscious u o sC mind account for tor- your your ur self distrusting fc i df of t marriage ni marriage mar mar- rl ge in its s sex X aspects Cr Cremate Cremate Cre Cre- mate and scatter them so to tospe speak k in the D light ot of objective adult dult und understanding and then you u win will b be re ready d to start from m scratch on a a 0 firm finn basis of wholesome self confidence to t prove pr ve to Dick your worth as IL woman woma 1 Mary Haworth counsels co couns un I ell ls tl through her column not by mail mailor or or personal Interview inte Write Writ her in care o of ot oThe The Salt Lake Telegram j |
