Show Henry McLemore Greatest of Nazi Blunders Came When They Didn't t Bomb Big Ben LONDON England f t f History j jwill will never record it but Germany Germany Germany Ger Ger- many made one mighty blunder when they had the air superioritY superiority superior superior- ity over Britain and were dr dropping dropping drop drop- p- p ping bombs almost at will on their targets They chose docks jj airdromes and munitions plants but forgot to include the worlds world's most celebrated timepiece timepiece Big Big BigBen Ben Ben Ben-as as an objective Had they knocked out this great clock which towers above the houses of parliament they might well have thrown this tItis tight little isle into discord Without Big Ben hundreds of thousands of Londoners wouldn't know the time of day unless they listened ned to B BBC B C which is a trem tremendous price to pay just for knowing what time it is Big Ben came through unscathed and its bells still ring its hands still move and all over the worlds world's biggest city the people depend upon it to tell them when to go to tea when to pull the stumps at cricket when to meet Maisie at the pub and when to turn the lights out for the blackout You see there is no such thing as getting a watch repaired in London Well that may be an exaggeration but you have to knock on a door and ask for Willie Wilhe Willie Wil- Wil lie he and tell Willie you are a friend of Charlie and Charlie said that Willie ha had a friend who might be beable beable beable able to fix a watch inside of six months But this is almost a a black market business and is not available to the average f. f citizen I speak from I ence once I I. Three months ago I broke my wrist watch w W while playing soft softball softball softball ball in Hyde park In the same game game I broke some ligaments and tendons and they were no no trouble to get fixed compared to that watch The first jeweler I took it to looked at me as if I 1 were a mad man and patiently exclaimed to me that all the themen themen men men and women who normally did such work were doing precision precision pre pre- tooling for the government govern govern- ment This happened everywhere everywhere everywhere every every- where I 1 went The quickest job promised me was five months so sol U jI l have been using Big Ben as my clock This has changed my life completely I spend half my day I in the atti attitude u e o. o of a dog ogon dogon on point waiting for this big cuss to ring When I dont don't hear it because of ofa a pass passing ng bus or an air raid alarm or someone someone shouting inthe in inthe the street I have to hike through Green park and look at it Its It's a mile walk so actually aside from the health benefits of walking through the park and watching the soldiers make love loveto loveto loveto to girls on the benches I gain gam no knowledge of the time at all By the time I get there and back I have completely lost track of what time it should shot be and have to start all over again This exercise is beginning to tomake tomake tomake make me look a little bit like Bernarr Macfadden who is not my f favorite type So I decided to Repair my own watch Unfortunately Unfortunately Unfortunately Un Un- I fortunately I didn't bring any watch repairing tools with me and I had to resort to a Boy Scout knife knife- a a a. can opener a pair of manicure scissors and a pipe cleaner Until you have repaired repaired repaired re re- re- re paired one you c cannot imagine how vicious a watch can be The They Thel bite of a mainspring is almost as deadly as that of a cobra and and the infernal little wheels which constitute the innards of a watch like nothing better than to leap from their lair and scratch you and scare you My watch is actually now beyond beyond beyond be be- yond repair even if the Elgin Waltham In Ingersoll g e r solI Omega Longene and Bulova were to try to put it together At the moment I am wearing a smart sun dial on my left wrist Its It's a bit awkward but every nine or ten days when England has a shaft of sunshine I can come within four hours of telling the time of day Ive I've got a good mind to go goback back to high school and graduate graduate graduate ate again so someone will give me a new watch On second thought I wont won't M My high school schooldays schooldays schooldays days were very dreary I think I had the worst principal in America As I 1 remember I had hada a year four-year average of nearly passing and he steadfastly re refused refused refused re- re fused to let me be valedictorian Hush Hush Big Big Ben is ringing and andI I think it is either seven or eight Distributed by Syndicate Inc |