Show I Henry Mclemore 11 y DALLAS Texas Texas Texas-In In classify- classify ing th the new flew draftees and reI re re- reone I classifying the old ones one 1 a u e s tion be e should asked po pont nt blanK Wank If the answer answer an an- is ism UI in the thes the's thea s 's a f the draftee should not only be put in in 1 l A-l but buts s should h 0 u I d be handed a gun and a uniform uniform uniform uni uni- form on the spot given at least a a sergeant's ser- ser geant's S tripS s a and n d McLemore told t to fare forth against the enemy without further ado Heres Here's the question Have you ever been able to I undress successfully in the upper berth of a sleeper plane 1 A Anyone n y 0 fl e who has accomplished accomplished pUshed this feat must of necessity t I sity be in superb physical conr cont con- con r t ditton have the courage of a 1 setting hen possess reflexes which would put lightning to shame hame and have the ingenuity I of of a kindergarten teacher on a rainy day 4 To get into the upper berth of a 8 sleeper plane one must have the fullest cooperation of the occupant of the lower berth He must place his head and shoulders in such a position on r lis his pillow that you can employ t them as a a. springboard to vault 1 I into your stratospheric rookery It is considered good plane eti eU etiquette etiquette eti- eti 1 quette to remove your shoes before before before be be- fore putting your foot on his face Obviously it is always worth wortha a try to feel out your lower berth and see if he happens to be o of the Casper type and can be induced to swap his lowly lower for your upper If he is new to airplane travel conversation conversation conversation con con- something like this may bring about the desired results re re- re- re suIts Well VeIl well well Isn't that too 1 bad ad Your very first trip and nd they give you a lower The airline just will do that unless you know enough the ask specifically specifically specifically for an upper Teh Teh The first time I traveled they put me in a lower and I nearly suffocated on a littIe little little lit lit- tle tIe mile hop And youre you're going to California Teh Teh Teh Let us move on You are stuck with the upper From a running start you vault from the profile of your prostrate friend and land in the midgets midget's boudoir near the stars The Theman Theman man who started the Readers Reader's Digest got his bis inspiration from froman an upper berth Coiled like a snake ready to strike you dally daily with the idea of playing fireman and sleeping in your clothes But you soon discover that there is not sufficient sufficient suf suf- room for both you and your clothes You consider letting letting letting let- let ting your clothes have the berth t and getting out yourself but unfortunately airline employ stewardesses who frown upon at feet and m p h h. h Airplanes do have a dressing room but as far as I asI I can figure out there is one man who makes a career of occupying this room He is the same man on every plane on every trip Of course I cant can't describe him Neither can anyone else N No one has ever seen him He never comes out but stays behind his drawn curtains from the time the plane planeS starts until it lands So there is nothing for you to todo todo todo do but undress in the upper The normal procedure that a man follows in undressing is to take takeoff takeoff takeoff off his shirt his pants and his socks This routine would be difficult enough in the crowded space but in the meantime the the- stewardess has fastened a wide canvas safety belt over your pants your shirt and your socks Shades of Harry Houdini I If y you u have a trick shoulder that is easily dislocated give up any idea of getting your shirt off The same applies to your pants if Its It's your hip that is tricky There is no bending over to remove your socks by hand The webbing belt prevents prevents prevents pre pre- vents that So the only way to remove your socks is with your feet Shades of Lon Chaney Chancy What gets undressed must get dressed But that's another story story story-an an I even more harrowing story I |