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Show rJhi.phiiiiPr iy THE POSTWAR FURNACE ! The postwar world is going to give a break-to the man who tends a j furnace. The job is going to be no I more trouble than switching the dial i on a radio. The furnace of tomorrow will not take up much more room than an electric toaster. science and engineering, with mil j their wonders, have neglected the I furnace. It Is what It has always ; been, a huge, cumbersome, awe-1 awe-1 some, space-hogging apparatus full 1 of temperament. That frustrated, I broken look on the faces of countless 1 Americans Is due to furnace responsibilities. respon-sibilities. Shaking it down and removing the ashes has made many a man hate cellars, northern winters "and the discoverer oi coai. j But at last something has been done about it, and a furnace per- , fected that will be a thing of beauty and joy all winter. It is heralded as j a robot-heatwave, a jet-heater, a ' jeep furnace. 1 You can carry It home under your arm. ' Its special appeal is that it leaves ; no ashes, has no grate, requires no : shaking and is as self-operating as I an oil burner. j It is, in fact, the coal Industry's answer to the oil furnace. The oil industry has been battering the j coal industry around for years with- ! out getting much opposition, but a I battle is ahead. i The Anthracite Industries incorporated incor-porated is the popper of the new demi tasse self-operating furnace. It only takes up a space two feet by two feet and is a simple device consisting con-sisting of a couple of gears, a blower, blow-er, a water pump and some blades ! which chop up the coal as it is automatically fed into the fire box. It produces a terrific flame in a few seconds and is guaranteed to have mem yelling "Turn off that heat!" instead of squawking "Horace, "Hor-ace, you'd better look at the furnace fur-nace again. Yon opened the drafts two hours ago and nothing's happened hap-pened yet." There is practially no cleaning to be done. The old man can give it an annual renovating with an old tooth brush, a nail file and an eye dropper. drop-per. It will be in production as soon as Hitler and Tojo are disposed of. Swell! Now we have the furnace of the future all attended to. But how can we get the coal of the present? Private Pnrkey Nears the Reich Dear Harriet Well, I am not sure where I am ! now on account of the armies in France don't stop long enough even to look at the signposts, but if I ain't in Germany I am close. Uncle Sam has got a new secret weapon. It is a jet-propelled G. I. We are moving so fast, Harriet, that windshields wind-shields should now be compulsory equipment for foot soldiers. I would not be able to write this I letter except we have just slowed down to 30 miles an hour. I don't : know what we slowed down for but I Sergeant Mooney says it was on ac-! ac-! count of we had to send some scouts j about 100 miles to locate General Patton. It has been almost like a sightseeing sightsee-ing tour with me the last few weeks and I seen a thousand places where Hitler once slept and most of the towns where the Nazi supermen once stood. It looks to me like the ; Kraut is the fastest folding soldier ; in history. : I seen thousands of captured ! Nazis in the last couple of weeks I and I ain't seen a goosestep in a . a carload. Anybody who says Ger-; Ger-; many will never surrender on our ; terms is nuts. The ones I been see-! see-! lng will surrender for a drink of wa-! wa-! ter and a cool place to lay down. This liberation business is nice but it is too fast for comfort. I would rather of liberated a little Blower so we could get time to buy at least a postcard in some of them -- a jjuaicara in some of them famous French and Belgium places. ,ut 8 G. I. stops to tie his shoe wee here becomes AWOL. All my love, Oscar. "Officials of the New York stock exchange announce that the spread- nnLr"m" about sts must be topped."-News item. Wanna bet? a .tocnkagi.nJ;Hstopp:ng rumors on won't "Change! Lots of people nt buy stock unless a few rumors are thrown in with it. "It's 1 I ever get for my money com- I must Ehmer TwitcheU rumT Se be-tween sts rumors, gimme rumors." |