| Show I Man With i the Grouch G ouch Talks T all s. I About the tIle Torrid Weather What I want wont to know almost whimp whimpered whim whim- p the tho little fragile wl wisp p of or a a. ma man wriggling around In th tho rear seat scat of the 1 nth street trl t car at it the end cud of or tho business d day y I If w v hy Y In aUp all aU p peskiness folks wont won't let Jet mo nw slay cool Well who who's heating you ou good good- natured I- I Inquired inputted llio UIO man math un on Ills ida left removing Ills hula het het slouch hat lial tend imd laboriously his brew Ill willi a a. limp handkerchief han Oh everybody c moaned rJ the little little- frit- frit sHe U man Bv I r body In III tin the hull l blamed District of Columbia by hy y j. Is lit d up tin In a n oll to parnoll me 1110 My Uy Jy own and I arc uro In III on the Job The hull population Is Involved In Involved n In- In a Ina low down lawn scheme to tom m melt lt nic me and 1 know it 11 Dont Don't t tJI ll 1112 me an any different This Tills Is IK something I 1 know ll Better ease case c off orr on nil that matey I Mal said the tho roin un en hue hili loft left I or ur orthe or orthe I the that thing thins you ou know you on will get l sure sure- enough h hot and 1 th then l It'll ho he yon yell for tor the Ihl l Cross wagon wason with Sue nc of them therm rubber lubber Il Icecaps on bean n mid a couple of at tons of or crocked d Ico leo weighing you ou down own after you rou vouch the tho sunstroke ward Dont Don't tai tall it to tu heart to co much mock that's that all Were We're all il cooked cool I 1 reckon Dont talc take It to hell he'll heart rt wn wailed the th t little man nian continuing to lo squirm in hl huts his scat beat how in lu Dazes blazes Is a man Aran going to keep from taking tl It to heart when when- 11 Well oil now wait vast a a. minute Just you ou let uro me tell ll you OU what whar everybody's been en doing to mo me ever e since sineo I 1 got Jot out oui of bed bet this morning Then Ill I'll J ask k you as roan mon to lo toman man man whether r Ive I've sot got an any chance not hot to take tako It to heart Go right ahead Bald ald the tho man with the looking hot slouch hat You might as aswell aswell well get sot it out or 01 maybe mabe you'll bustell bust Well ell ell thon then began the tho little man against whom tho the conspiracy to lo I parboil and melt appeared to exist allow mo me to inform you OU In the first t place that Im I'm naturally a a- cool man I 1 never was overheated overheated overheated over over- heated In my life lite unless other folks durn em made mado mo so 0 b by precept example or suggestion Now Now when I got sot out of bed had this tills morning morning morn morn- ing I was as cool as n a cantaloupe In a My ly wife hod had been shifting about ghostlike from fro room to room and complaining complaIn Ins and muttering all night about the tho heats heat But Bul I 1 felt as comfortable as ns the snow of ot the and I 1 b begged her liar almost on my bended bonded knees to for for- bearTh bear Th of ot course evoked e a reply on her part that I was and inconsiderate Of or course also her I words of reproof caused m my temperature to 10 rise at least three degrees no degrees no appreciable rise In temperature for Cor a man as cool as I Ithen Ithen Ithen then was but a rise e nil all the tho same Well Bell ell after a very light early breakfast breakfast break breal- fast during durins th the entire pro progress ress of which my wIle wife clove clovo tho the air all with her lamentations lamentations lamentations lamenta lamenta- over r the heat and m my little girl panted pante-d asIf all ready Teady to keel over over and and me as 39 cool as a White Lot Lol fountain pondlily pond pondlily lily at midnight I I sat at down at tho the front window which overlooks o a j t little park to take a glance Ianco at the headline of ot the paper before belore setting out nut for lor the office Well sir b before fore Id I'd b beets been en sitting down for tor two minutes what tho the deuce does m my wife do do but go upstairs and put on the tho reddest st fiercest looking rl red mi-red rd kimono that ever came off orr a loom In ad addition addition ad- ad to that she sho draped drap her head held In a hea heavy looking hot towel and proceeded l d to put pul tho the house to rights as sho aho called itI it H. tI t. t I 1 entreated her to cease hut It was no I use UgO She said sho ho Wan wanted led to get set tho the housecleaned house 1 cleaned up before the tha real ul heat of this the day set In hl and that's all there was Tas or could be bo to II it I What hat else was thero there for Cor me but night Might II I fled When hem I 1 got sot ou the ear lar I wasn't what hat jou could coull call warm but hul I sure lIre I I was UIA tome seine degrees removed 1 from torn my normal nor nor- I mal nial condition of comfortable cool coolness HOPS 1 I However I Immediately In front runt of mo me moon J I j on the tho ur WMS a II fuming fat n in with I i a n 1 around hula hiM nock neck In InI I I place of a i collar Well ell I J had to 10 sit lIt lt I I there and watch wah that lat lut man and 1111 Ills Ids I II i neck h Tim Thu nok lH chief hud hall It a malevolent H H for rOl ale me I 1 i I couldn't 1 p III my eyes N of oil urr the tho thing I The fuming fat It man would tug Hie at nl It with wild mi fin un hand and Dion Ilien with th the theother theother other and antI then ho would yank It off orl ul- ul l tiler r. r stroke It Il ind ull refold 11 Jl t and all 1 rc- rc I It at l hiM n Mk lucking It IIII In III I with maddening deliberation and utterIng uttering utter utter- ing n 11 whistling I It h hot t r l' every o ond or o o. o I Wol II hy by the lime lIm half hulf of my lily car CHr I jOUI Journey was vas completed d lh tha s fatman's fat nl mans man's loot looked l Ilk like a hangman's hang mans man's that thai had 11 len 11 frequently m used rf H and ml I 1 was at lt least four lour degrees M r than I had Imd en br-en when I t loft left 1 my home Just JU hum from looking at the awful a I Happ moist t dl r neck bund bund- of the fat tat man mall c when I t got hOt oil oft OIT the Ihl ear car carI rarI I look took 11 It goil hold on myself rny nn r lf and I made maden n mental men till i evolution lo to remain by hO all ill exterior 1101 elevating Ile man lIon whatsoever PI When I u larh tJ th thin the office I lung hung In my coat on en UNaC its UN aC accustomed peg pel and ami when 1 I sot sol ot to toJ work and anti h beg to tn lo to open m In my y mull mall I 1 in wua W rapIdly rapidly rap rap- Idly regaining In mv nil normal t Then my m my dr kmat began to tit reveal roveal his possession of or the thc cloven n hoof 11 gave I me the first Inkling of ot the deliberate lon conspiracy that thai obviously ob had been bIn hatched hatched against m rne me It a it was p perfectly plain to toIe f Ie see c that he 11 He lIt I. I resented nt my cool appearance began on hy by telling me what an awful wh whit what t n. n horrible hor hor- time hed he'd had h of It trying to cot het some lom sleep the tho night before lie wild that t th the stoke hole of or a war o under forced draught a wasn't nt one two three to the heat of his bedroom and that hed he'd found fount the tho sheets themselves as ns hot as a slab Iab In a Turkish h bath By By suddenly switch switching In the subject I 1 endeavored to lo get et him lUm to dc desist But there thero was nar nary a n In n him tux Ino mur mur- derer Ho lie was going to lalk talk heal helt heat heat or han hang for ItHe ItHe It t He lie tugged at his Calluses and ejaculated ejaculated jacu By cricket but Its It's blazing through his ills teeth ever every minute 01 or so and cr c every live h minutes hed he'd Jump up tip from his desk and antI totter loiter over over o to the corner to look at the thermometer If It he was able to report n a rise rile in of a l Quarter ler ter of a degree he hp fastened n a look of 01 devilish de triumph upon me and asked me in a L victorious tone lone If I was willing to lo admit that the morning was a soaker and anda a 3 steamer bleamer With the purpose of or getting away WA from this of ot mine I went out to lo luncheon at an 11 unusually unusual carl early hour for forme forme forme me At the tho restaurant where here 1 I take m my luncheon of graham wafers waters and milk lr e every week weel day of at the year car I was compelled compelled com com- to sit down opposite n a beefy young oun man who had removed his coat If H he didn't weigh h pounds he didn't t weigh elsh an ounce Ills Ills His countenance was an nn exaggerated Berated cerise or maybe a magenta In hue huo and there were Mississippi and Amazons of perspiration streaming down from his forehead to his chin and onto his sticky stick shirt Now No I might have pavo been heen able ablo to tolerate tol- tol erale erate his appearance much as ho he re reminded reminded ro- ro minded mo of a senior steamboat en engineer engineer en- en In a 11 state stale of excitement l over the blowing out of a cylinder head But tho rho Junk that her hor was lS eating Tho The Junk lh that U he lie was wa eating wa was Va a ahu hu huge e dish of at beef a la mode and into this Ibis awful mess the lubber squirted at Intervals of every minute or 01 so 10 v sauce catsup chill chilli patico sauco Bud and C Tills This mf-JOs mf mess of fue lie ho he Jammed into hit his countenance with oven oeo apparent evidence evi dence of WHIt Mist enjoyment n t. t so Ill that tl 1 when m my Ice Ice- cold milk cum lom along It p tasted tasted such such h wi was th the hideous power powe of I suggestion s ap If It had Just from I the top of or the range r So to I got no good hat t ver l' l out of f my 1113 luncheon hour lour except a r ri rise e o In iii temperature tempera tempera- temperature ture ture- such Filch n as I had lead pot d IIII the my father fl caught ht mo me In ii In a deep deep- hol hole In the ol olt old l creek Well In hr still till persecuted p rs It by y I the hi heal conversation OU I a lion of In my de k- k i tl I went vent lo to the Hie refractory acro across B tin hp t tt street t J ordered a tn tall II seltzer zer I was VMS Just about to c 1 I tilts this cooling drink t to i my lips when my mv at- at l- l un wn was h hy by an HII rUI H li clui Of II dad A 1 n middle lIdle aged man n. n well dressed di Id of nf Ii nt le pw til lUv and 1 MIf with willi al lh everything lr to lolly live for fol on Ih this fins l' l earth deliberately poured Ii himself out four a and ami half rne-half fingers of row raw r rd red d booze huon and shot lh the ferocious hull hall ln mitt t I with wilh nary miry a II shudder nn and without so IO o much as us even n skipping th the dUIf uj cf er of or water that the placed Ilon Well I drank dronk tn iny my lemonade monad but hilt such W was the tho feeling of nezzar hoot heat that mans man's horrible action hud tn me ore with ith that hilt It tasted last 1 like ilkI so much jre arid ado Ii and nfl I J departed front there lit ht an unmistakable state slate of sure Mire enough heat heal Yep 1 p 1 I WI was wis hot Mot 1 I was h so swelteringly I hot hot hot-hot hot from the sails ends of ears cars to the hc Knobs knob of m 11 my ankles Awl And I pot got ot still hotter as 1 J mall hullo mv Un ll way bock baek to In my 0 office 1 on mj my III way uy hunch 1 I counted twenty nine mol male with I soaking j swaddled 8 around U their h necks neek and about G n men po n nt S th thy they y suit led past me 1110 were harping harping upon the ln ha a It wasn't for them 1 that th they foil fell hot rh y y v to gloat over u the heat heit They longed to toI see sen I the thread al limb climb farther from tho the bulb than It li hail Imd l' l ever r climbed h. h hi fore so Po that 1 hey I I 13 could to talk Ik 1 It a at 1 tho the table when hen they went lIl home And they thy sant d to malts make me hot hol of or course it was wasa a put up Jib It II couldn't hate bar been bem any any- ny- ny t thin hlll thing else 1 on ra earth rth but t a Ion conspiracy to tomake tomake make mak me hoL hot hoLAnd hoLAnd And nun now you jou too loo whimpered the f sm small I ot II fragile rasHe looking man turning a woebegone woe woe- countenance countenance- upon ills s s. j you you are arc In on the tho Job Job Joh That runt woolly look- look g stuffy y looking eternal blazes and antl damnation looking slouch bat hat and and that limp wimpy handkerchief youre you're mopping your IH head with take take cm em m take awn tako em cm 0 away way The man with the slouch hat grinned d dat at the other passengers ties lIes a nut nul all right h he lie said ald to tho thoman thoman thoman man standing landing on tin the rear platform lIes Hes Hesso so o nutt nutty tho the squirrels ls are arc chasing him |
