Show They have found Noahs Noah's ark again this again this time on Porcupine river Alaska The news reports say that such Indians as are familiar with the Bible are arc convinced that the petrified ship is none other than the famous craft in which the tile human race was saved from extinction Of course cours the little matter mat ter of a wide discrepancy in the dimensions of the respective arks doesn't affect the belief of the In In- The Alaskan ark is 1 1200 00 feet while Noahs Noah's was cubits or JiG feet The Porcupine river boat is of stone while the Ararat barge was made of gopher wood However l let t us not rashly conclude the two t not and the until are ne po on one same we have bave examined them in the dime museum The platform of the Michigan Republicans is the work of crude carpenters It indorses President dent lent Roosevelt for his stand on the Cuban CulJan reciprocity reciprocity reci reci- bill and then turns around and pledges support sup port to the sugar beet factions in the House and Senate Even two-inch two weather strips nailed over o the cracks would not make this many planked document air tight I I Such is fame and the profits thereof A quarter quarter quarter ter of a century ago Thomas Nast was the most famous cartoonist in the thc world and his powerful pictures in Harpers Harper's Weekly made or unmade dents lents Yesterday he sailed for Guayaquil to assume assume assume as as- sume the duties of a consulship that pays hi him but buta a song and buries him him out of sight The alias the sea serpent serpent ser ser- pent has been heen caught at last and he is now on exhibition in all his reptilian glory glor at the Battery Park New York K Now ow let the skeptics hold bold their tongues and stop their doubts of the genuineness of Jo Jo mermaids and other othel wonders of the dime museum museum- t Now Kow that those who 40 have bave struck it rich in Thunder mountain are returning to the outer world to announce their theil great luck let us have a few assays Chemistry is a n. better truth teller than the gent wi with sith h a far far away away mining claim to sell Hello Adlai Stevenson Grover Gro Cleveland and William Villiam Jennings Bryan l' l an h have hare Ve forgotten n to mention Uncle Ad and we we didn't remember whether he was still among the living The promised old year locust thus far hasn't panned out at all He is on only I. I the ordinary ordinary nary summer singer returned to us once more with the season Assistant Cashier Duke announced in The Tue Telegram Tele Tele- gram grain on Monday that he had no intention of either cither running away or committing suicide but would stand pat patYe We Ye will will now now see the color of Mr Dul Dukes Duke's es e's cards Mr lr Harrington should publish his Sutherland letter as a n puzzle picture over this caption Where is the Utah Congressman What pm position will the Utah Republicans take with regard to President Roosevelt's sugar beet-sugar policy Those Salt Lake society women who advocate making formal calls b by 03 telephone are arc certainly paying pay pay- ing ng their friends a kind of or sided back compliment The press agents of the Idaho stage line companies com corn I panics are working overtime in ill Thunder mountain |