| Show PATTERNS HAT THA T DIFFER CAUSE I S. S RIFT IN FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIPS J- J ft S l 7 B By BETTY BLAIR I Water at r finds its own level but oftentimes it travels by de deio devious de- de io and nd difficult ways to do so Human beings capable of employing the implement nt of truth to hew their way through misunderstandings with others should find their level by less Intricate te ways 0 Dear rear Miss BlAir My problem may seem a ft nry cry pe peculiar pe- pe culiar dab to you but I hope you can help me I n sai A high chool girl who up until now now I has had many If 11 friends and a swell 4 Ii ii time nee Recently e n t 1 Y I I I though a certain con I- I boy In our school lass has I f rim been causing a lot lotI lotof I- I of ot trouble for me and my friends I think very cry little J jI I iari f of ot him because he he- Ivl I Just Isn't the right 1 fr i type of ot boy He Ic drinks and smokes p and does all an the r rest t MiI that goes gOtS with the thelle o actions I just dont don't Want rant to have a thing to do with himA him out A girl cant can't very well come right And tell a boy why she cant can't nt go with hIm hini lm or doesn't even want to be seen leen with him and that's he e expects ta me Ins to do dot He Is Just the type of ot boy to get people In trouble and that's what he heIs Is 13 doing to me Putting notes In lockers ock lock ock- era ers and such silly things but It Is 15 taking effect Im I'm getting a bad reputation tation and losing many ny friends be because be- be cause ause of f It One friend In particular pl means a great deal to m me mc He says he hewon won wont ont t Pi pay any attention to It St but I Inow know now he gradually will For Instance starts a little story and It gradually gets get larger until people begin be- be gin gln to believe e It Isn't that right ThatIs That Is my trouble I dont don't want to lose the friendship of this boy or of others What can I do Thank you t IN IN TROUBLE You have raised one very er important im im- Im- Im i 1 question in your letter In Trouble and that is by your statement state tate ment A girl cant can't very ery well come fight out and tell teU a boy why she with him or doesn't even ant tant to be seen with him I ponder ponder pon pon- der on this and wonder if it is altogether alto alto- gether true that a girl cant can't be truthful with a boy concerning her reasons for wishing to discontinue a friendship or any outward show of friendship It would take cur cour- age ge ge of course to do so so but d don't dont nt you think both you ou and the boy be fully repaid for the effort effort ef ef- ef- ef fort lorl J t It is no secret that some people dislike the fact that others drink And nd smoke Those who do so are arc also 1150 aware that there are those who disapprove of their actions yet they led feel they are entitled to do as they please lease This boy probably thinks s your our standards are the same as his Wouldn't it be fair to let him know hey aren arent aren't t and for that reason there there can be little in common between be be- tween you OU and nd ask him to please seek eek those whose conduct tallies ith his own and leave you to make makei i Four our own choice 1 of f ft 1 I Tell TeU him he has a r right to do ase as ase e 0 pleases pleas s so far as you ou arc are concerned con con- d and you have no quarrel ith ith him on that score but you demand the right to do doas as you OU flease without having your our actions misjudged b by unsought advances on his part Surely two people who lave reached high school age can 1 talk thus deliberately and with perfect per per- calm and poise without t either taking offense You are merely mereb CeIling fuelling him to recognize yours without without without with with- out interference You dont don't intend to interfere with his choice of oC conduct con con- duct why should he place a stumbling bling ling block in the way of your our free Cree Choice hoice of what you want to do When hen adults can become emotionally emo mature enough to dare to tell the truth as well as asto to hear it c Che hey have reached a level with the total of their years ears their intelligence Being able to o tell this boy the truth about just chere here you stand on a certain proposition siHon and to do so without rancor or hate or emotional disturbance of J F i Letters questions question and requests for tor advice ad should be bo addressed to tol l MISS SS BETTY ETIl BLAIR BLAm HEARTS HA HAVEN VEN THE TELEGRAM SALT LAKE CITY Write legibly upon only ono one t aide ido of tho the paper paler It is necessary that you ou append the right hame name and address but these wilt will be held in strict confidence confidence confidence dence and will not appear in print Questions involving advertising information cannot bo be answered X any kind should solve your lem Jem And I think you OU are placing altogether altogether altogether alto alto- gether too much emphasis upon what people may think about an untruth rather than about the truth of oC the situation Just see to it that you live the truth of oC your life and you need riot not worry about what people people peo peo- pIe will think BIRTHDAY PARTY Dear Miss Blair I would like to give ghe a II birthday party for tor a boy I would like It to be bea a surprise party part but as I have never ne given one I would like to ha have c you tell me how to go about it tt how to Invite the guests guest and What hat to have for refreshments and what games to play Would It be all aU right for me rae to ask sale salemy my cousin I If I could have the party at her place as our place Is too small G o D. D Explain to your cousin your plans for or giving a party and if she offers her home you may accept her kindness kindness kindness kind kind- ness but unless you are o on very friendly terms with your cousin and andare you arc are in the habit of exchanging courtesies of this nature I hardly see sec how v you can plan a party part and then ask if you ou may have it in her home Why not instead plan for the few guests that your small house would accommodate four or eight and instead of making it a surprise party give a little dinner and have two tables of cards afterward or games games ames You may call your our guests on the telephone Invite them in person or write informal notes of or invitation Your notes would read something like e this Dear Mar Mary I am planning planning planning plan plan- ning to have hav a little dinner in honor honorof of Bobs Bob's birthday I would like so much to have you ou come It will be Friday September 14 at Let me know soon whether or not you can be there Greta Or you ou might have these eight people in for cards and games and serve light refreshments before the evening is ov over r Your refreshments I in this case might be sandwiches sandwiches sand sand- hot chocolate or coffee cake ice cream salted nuts and candies Or you may want to leave leav out the i sandwiches cake and ice cream and I substitute a jellied fruit salad with hot rolls send self ad Kindly a stamped dressed envelope with your our request for m my circular of games for adults NOTE TO BARBARA The only way we inn may answer a aletter aletter aletter letter of heart interest that is printable printable printable print print- able and that has general appeal is through the column or on the air We Ve would necessarily have to boil yours down in order to print it but you may be sure we will leave out the details that would identify you as the writer if we may use it 1 We are also glad to give private in- in interviews but we cannot answer heart interest letters by private Jetter letter let Jet ter for the reason that the same letter printed in the column may answer the problems of a score scare of others MATTERS NO BETTER Dear Miss MIM Blair Since I wrote you last things have gone from bad to worse I went to tos s see e my girl and nud was trea treated d very ery courteously by her family but she let me mc sit lilt around the house all day Then Ihen we went to a show but since then she he seems to have a few other boy friends and has given me the air I think this Is because I cant can't give her as ns asgood asgood good a present on holidays as the others can What can I do besides taking It on the chin with a grin DUMB DUMB You can go out and get yourself another girl D D. D That helps a fellow to take it on the chin with witha a gri grin n. n Write to me more me-more more completely con con- cernin your second problem of oC your our father losing track of you and the loss of your job in tho C C C camp I am unable to understand what your problem rs h here re |
