| Show The Woman of It By HELEN ROWLAND l Win tale I I by br T Th The tress Publishing Co 0 Tho Th New Nework wk ork Evening Wo Wo-JJ f Copyright 1 1916 1116 16 by the Press Iress Pub Co I The rte New York Evening World I SHE TELLS WHY SHE WONT WON'T MARRY A RICH MAN What makes you look so o radiantly happy Inquired the Bachelor regarding regarding regarding regard regard- ing ing the Widows Widow's s 's flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes a admiringly through the I haze from his cigar Oh because because- I AM I happy Dir Mr Weatherby sighed the Widow luxuriously toufI leaning back bacle in the pink damask damask da da- mask masl chair and clasping her glittering gUttering slitter gUtter ing fingers behind b behind hind her small head I have just spent the last dollar of my allowance and bought a lot of things thing's I that I d dont don't nt need and cant can't afford and andI I I probably shall regret drea dreadfully What a remarkable kable cruse caso for intense in intense in- in tense t happiness Interrupted the Bachelor satirically Oh I I dont don't know answered the Widow low nonchalantly When a man is feeling blue or seedy he goes OIS OI'S out and buys a lot of drinks that he doesn't need and cant can't afford and probably will regret dreadfully dreadfully and and it mak makes s Sim him Intensely happy He has a champagne champagne champagne cham cham- ne orgy while a a. woman has a shopping shopping shopping shop shop- ping orgy But it affords her the same relief Yo You Toy ought to marry a rich man declared the Bachelor impulsively what they all say sighed the Widow But Ive I've tried to to lots of times and times and I just CANT CAN'T Ye sods gods exclaimed the Bachelor gallantly What in the world Is the matter with the men Oh nothing nothing except except that all the nice men are married man before they get rich explained the Vi Widow do If a a. rich man ISN'T married it is because he is hardened hardened hardened hard hard- ened impregnable dyed in the wool bachelor Otherwise he would have been snatched up long before befort How about the widowers the er widowers suggested the Bachelor hopefully They dont don't STAY widowers widower sighed the Widow ruefully unless they are flirts or or utterly impossibly bly unattractive or woman haters An attractive unmarried eligible RICHman RICH nICH RICHman nICHI I man Is as rare as the rarest specimen in the museum of natural history Iii In fact there isn't any such animal Why even an attractive unmarried rich woman only stays unmarried for about fifteen minutes after her divorce That's why Im I'm so fearfully and un- un utterly tired of hearing my friends drum into m my ears Why dont don't you marr marry a a. rich man Why dont don't you marry a rich man Why dont don't you you marr marry a rich man Ugh and the Widow shuddered The only w way y to get a a. rich husband Is to take some other womans woman's Well Veil suggested the Bachelor soothingly trying to change the subject subject sub sub- what kl kind d of a man DO you intend Intend in In- In tend to marry T r have no nn Intentions whatevEr Mr l I II III I I II I Weatherby W V. therb answered ed the Widow Wido with I dignity I feel about marriage as I 1 Ido 1 I do about appendicitis or death If If it happens to nic me I am prepared to make the best of It If it doesn't why ditto a and and I wont won't complain But Ill I'll tell you what kind of a man I think thin It I EVERY woman ought to marry marry and and that is a a. potentially rich man man man-a a not yet but soon young man as it were One who is on the road to success success but butI hasn't quite arrived I Oh Olt I see said the Bachelor thoughtfully About HOW About HOW young I Oh moderately so said the Widow tentatively studying the small gold toe of her her slipper You cant can't I tame an animal after it has got its second teeth you know nor know nor a bachelor I after atter he has got tics his is second wind You cant can't mold a mans man's character land career to your own liking after they have already been molded and hard hard- I ened But you want to be be sure sure before you marry maro him that he has the qualities qualities qualities ties that make for success Then you youcan youcan youcan can take him elm and permit him to be just as much of a success as you care to have him But you wouldn't care to have him hima a complete success I r suppose remarked the Bachelor sarcastically Not so complete as to be nothing ELSE but a success answered the Widow promptly a lover a sweetheart sweetheart sweetheart sweet sweet- heart a husband nd and a a. father for Instance in instance instance In- In stance yes and a chum and a a. good golf player and an all around amusing and congenial companion And a man manI I who gives a a little bit of himself to all I these essentials to per perfect ct happiness will never leave have time to become ome very Uh I rich It Is only the Jarman t rs who acquire millions and andl And I shouldn't care carl to b ml m mla a a. human cash register Mr Id I'd rather be a poor mans man's light domestic than a rich itch man i thought f Hear hear cried th the B Bad Well Yell Im I'm Jg arg player anyway and and warranted not t too hard nor to get too rich treat you like an after Yes Interrupted the Wid Wide Wida a long long sigh You Ton woo a a. perfectly IDEAL husband Ir Mr erby erby MOh M Oh thank you you cried the I If you hadn't got your out wind finished the tune |
