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Show IIP j Anecdota Presidentia: I Although the White House Is the i last place In the world (excepl ' Granfi Tomb) you'd expect to find j , gag-man, some of our President! have fashioned bon mottos thai would have earned them berths on leading radio comedians payrolls. I Calvin Coolldge, generally accept-! accept-! ed as the tightest-lipped of the Chkf I Executives, has several nifties to his ! credit. A Washington correspondent questioned him about his reaction to Rupert Hughes' biography de-bunking de-bunking many of the legends about George Washington. Coolldge gazed out the window and then muttered nasally: "I notice the Washington Monument is still standing." In a discussion on the proper use of a word, Grover Cleveland was surprised to hear a Senator refer to his source as "Daniel Webster's die tionary" . . . "But my dear Sena-tor," Sena-tor," said Cleveland, "Noah made the dictionary" . . "Don't be silly," replied the Senator, giring him a scornful look. "Noah built the ark." IT CAN'T BE DONE When Wilsan was faced with severe se-vere opposition on his League of Nations proposals, the objection, "It can't be done," was familiar to his ears. At such times he would relate this story: A man was telling his son a bedtime story sto-ry about an alligator. It was creeping: up behind a turtle, with Its tnouth wide open. Finally it was within reach but just as Its great Jaws were snapping shut, the turtle made a spring, ran up a tree and escaped. "Why, dad," said the boy, "hew can a turtle spring and climb a tree?" "Great Scott," replied the father, fa-ther, "he had to!" I A Congressional committee was meeting with President Wilson, and, as you can well imagine, many of I the good Representatives were shaking shak-ing the walls with their loud, but un-rational un-rational oratory. The Prez listened l patiently for a while, and then re-I re-I lated this story: "I am reminded of j the old Colored man down in Vir- ginia who was riding a mule, and I who was caught in a violent thun-1 thun-1 derstorm while passing through a dense forest. Although he trembled at the horrifying peals of thunder, , he was thankful for the occasional I flashes of lightning which enabled ; him to see his way. At last he prayed: 0 Lawd, if it's jes' the same to you, I'd rather hev a little less noise an' a little more light!' " Theodore Roosevelt had this legend on his White House desk: "The value of a smile costs nothing but creates much. It is rest to the weary daylight to the discouraged sunshine to the sad and nature's best antidote anti-dote for trouble! Yes it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen for It is something that Is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away." j A large Republican meeting was ! attended by a small boy offering for sale four puppies, so young their eyes were still unopened. "Get your McKinley pups!" he shouted, and enjoyed a brisk sale. Two weeks later, the Democrats had a meeting in the same town, and the little boy was again seen hawking an armful arm-ful of pups. "Get your Bryan pups!" . he yelled this time. ! "See here," said an onlooker, "didn't I see you selling 'McKinley pups' here a few weeks ago?" "Yessir," replied the lad meekly, , "but these are different they've got j their eyes open!" Of course we can't prove it, but George Washington is alleged to Rave become wearied with an official offi-cial investigation which paraded a score of experts through his chambers. cham-bers. "It is my opinion," he is quoted, quot-ed, "that calling many witnesses to prove one fact is like adding a large quantity of water to a small quan- tity of brandy-it makes it weak." At Teheran, Stalin drove home a , polnt with a yarn that FDR is said to be chuckling over still. "The neighbor of an Arab sheik." related the Premier, "asked for the loan of !hTe .r 'l Cann0t lend sd the sheik. I need it to tie up my milk ' win. . But surely,' replied the other, -you do not tie up y0ur milk with a rope?' " 'Brother.' said the sheik, 'when you do not want to do a thing, one reason is as good as another'" ! FDRoevelt. commenting on the promise of aid recently sworn by a small pro-Allied nation, told . news Paper man that it reminded him of story of the Barbados Island and e last war. The Barbados with a standing army 0f twelve men wis ready. It was ater learnt ii,,. n. |