Show Daily Short Fiction Story HER UTILE LITTLE PLOT By DONALD ALLEN Copyright ht 1914 1014 bv by the McClure News Newspaper paper Syndicate Halt Half the people that attended the fu funeral fu of ot Deacon Gordon Gordons wife wite were watching to eec sen now flow now n nH noro oro up un under cr to tho trying s. s It Is Js ways that way at a a. village e funeral The deacon shed n i tear His chin dUn didn't t quiver er He iTo didn't look loik Q aa ae If it It was waR the end eni of or nil all thIngs with 1 him Tharo wore were those who criticised criticisM him but It was as old Mrs Goodhue who aba abashed thorn thom ty saving I 1 dunno that A A. sasser asser of ot tea will wm slop over oer a 0 heap a a. W washtub wash wash- 1 tub full of water Tho The deacons deacon's daughter arid and her husband hus huR- band had come on to the funeral Between Between Between Be Be- tween their getting homo from the serVices services ser ser- vices and 1 the evening meal very cry little was wu said but at tho the table the daughter observed Well pa po pa you are going s to feel awful lonesome I shall shaU Hanner Been Beon married a A. Jon ion long time Over thirty years And she was a 8 good wife The best In ml tho e world But you'll have to marry marr again put In tho the in son No uNo sir never But you'll want ant a hom home Yrs Yes and Ill I'll hire a 11 housekeeper Cephas you and Hanner Tanner just listen while I say ay that I I may never go o to heaven If It I take tako another wife Tho deacon meant that from th tho bottom bottom bot bot- bot- bot tom torn of ot his soul His voice broke his eyes filled and ad ho used a n. corner comer of t the e tablecloth to wipe away awny hI his hili tears u uIt It was as mean of or Cephas to wink at his wife but all aU sons law aro arc off ort the same Mme piece picco of ot goods boods In that same Mme village of ot Dawon Dawson dwelt the Widow Hastings She was past 40 40 well wen thought of or and the world has got through saying she would marry again agam If she got the C chance She h had d known thed the d deacon acon and his wife for tor man many years She was sorry for tor his loss Mrs l Hastings had lost a good husband hue hus band as husbands go 10 but after atter his death she hadn't said that If it she over ever took another an an- an another another other she hoped n never vcr to go o to heaven A A. wise woman does not tie herself up In that uncalled for tor manner The most she will say ay Js Is that It Is a 8 sad loss to her The deacon decided deeMed not to board He engaged nga cd an old woman as hous housekeeper and though her cooking was bad he had haa to put up with It The old woman was ban hanging to her Job with ith her toenails as asIt asIt asIt It were for tor she se knew that she was no flO cook when she made a solemn promise one da day to have some Mme biscuit for tor supper On that day tho Widow Hastings s dropped In n an and was told of ot the promise The Thc biscuit bis bis- bis cult turned out to be as he heavy heY Y as lead and when the deacon pat eat down to the table he up one and nd shouted By B the great horn spoon but 1 If one of or the these o hit a dog It would kill kUl him dead Just then ai as If It she had bad timed herself by a 8 stop watch atch In tripped tho the widow dow I with sI six hot biscuits on a plate and covered cov coy ere ered up with Ith a snow snowy napkin and to the deacons deacon's look of Interrogation atlon she he said I I w was afraid grandmas grandma's biscuit might not be be- light and so fo I brought over some of my 0 own 11 When she hll he had been beon thanked b by the grateful man and had departed he said laid to himself If tt an anything t could reconcile mp m me to a a. f second con marriage It would be hot biscuit like these 1 l And then he took the last st of ot the six and sighed and added But I said paid I hoped Id I'd never go to leaven heaven The old woman had hod to go 0 o and another came One day dav when the widow ran rano o over er she was as told toM that the deacon drank II whole quart of milk every nJ night t with Ith hIs ils supper That evening when hen tho the good goodman goodman man man poured out his milk and took a R swig Ig Igat of at It It he shouted at the cook By thunder are you ou trying to pol poison on me mel Wha ts t's the matter This ha has been soured with slum alum And In tripped d the Widow Hastings with a pitcher in her hr hand han 1 to f say sayI I r think I heard thunder this afternoon afternoon after after- noon and mab maybe It soured the milk Here Heres Is s some fresh from th the co cow She didn't watt wait for thanks and the deacon gulped do down a glass s of th the rich fluid and growled Do Dog m my roy cats why did I say fay that to Cephas and Hanner That Tut housekeeper had bad to go and another another another an an- other one came For a time the the- deacon thought he had a prize a and n th then n there came a fall down n The woman was wu bollIng boll boll- In Ing ng potatoes for supper when the cheery cheer little Ittle widow Ido came In to bring her a Ii paper pattern There came canie an opportunity to pour nour mo most t of the wa water ter out of or the tho kettle and brine brin abou abon an odor of ot burning p po Did the te widow grasp it There wasn't time to cook Ook a fresh supply supply sup sup- ply ph and the deacon was sniffing and when the tho WILlOW widow cam carn In to say MY I t t thought Mrs Irs Brice might Cor forget et her potatoes I In her Interest In the pattern and so en n I brought you rou some French fried Cried ones ons Never Neer In his hh life lit had the deacon met up tip with witt 1 French fried 1 potatoes and nev never r rhad had iad he thought the tubers could be bo made Into nto such an excellent dish l h. h By Bv gosh what hat a cook I wonder If I Cephas and Hanner have remembered what I 1 said paid By tho the time tho the customary year ar of mourning was up the deacon had had a ael el eight ht housekeepers and Wa was doing hl hi own cooking XII He H also had indigestion Also Abo he had backache from Crom a lumpy lump fea feather ther bed He at also o was learning to swear and some of oC liI his fellow church m members w were vere re retaking taking notice of ot It H. H I He had something on his mind the tho deacon had and e eI every I time t the c Widow I Hastings brought him over a pie a fresh r h lot of ot doughnuts or a custard he hI thought I all the th harder hard r and shook his head ant and an mused mused- Hanner ma may have forgotten It It but hut Cephas Is 15 just tho the sort Fort of ot critter to grin and wink over o It I hoped Id I'd 11 never cr bOto go bO goto goto to heaven if I married again but I wonder wonder won won- onder der t If It I hadn't better take the chances HA lie was wa r seeing the widow Over every two or three days but nover a hint of ot love and matrimony It Ii was just neighborly talk tik and not too much of that He lie I I I must must- remember that yow vow VO One night he awoke to find himself sitting sitting- up In n bed It Jl was an idea that awoke e him him- and he I fairly shouted out I II I 1 W was R a R fool not to t think of ot It before Ill I'll go to the tho pai panon on this very de And go ho he did and when he got Jot there he asked Parson you didn't know kno nh my wife very ery well did you She Sh wasn't given to talking much was VIas the tho reply but she ehe he was as a 8 mighty good tood wife iCo t No Xo doubt of that It struck me a hard blow In talking to iny my daughter an and an t her husband that evening I said I hoped hOlled never ne to go to heaven If It I married again Y Y s. es And now I want to marry I I shall be pleased to officiate Yes Tee but parson panon I raid fald I hOJ hoped d Id I'd never 6 go 0 to heaven If I did Am I. I Ingoing to be shet out If I do Hardly Har h. h deacon deacon hardly You ou 2 see e you ou are an Impulsive man A few mornings ago SO I pau passed d your our barn as you ou wore were re milking your OUT cow c She switched witch d her tall tail Into your face fade and you ou shouted Hold on there dum y ye If It ye ft do o that again Ill I'll knock ever every ever bla Wanted blasted horn your our old spotted carcass I 1 paused to see seo If she se would do io o It Il again She did but you OU didn't even knock one horn off orr I I I I F I 1 was sas bluffing sheepishly replied the deacon And HAnd one evening after aeter prayer meetIng meet meet- Ing lug you ou stumbled over oer a hog bog on th tile the sidewalk and yelled out tt Darn yer old snout but Ill I'll boot the daylights daUght out of ot you ou 4 what paid eaid deacon and nd you ou though tho the hog alt waited wafted around you Oll didn't boot boot- him It Is Js Just your our Impulsive e way n And Ill I'll get et Into h heaven a cn Id Ir d risk k It If I were you DU That Tat Is is if It you tan make some Im Improvement ro In your lour speech and a avoid avok being churched Do Dog my t cats cats J if I J dont don't do m my J level c best t. parson ParOn on And who I IP the lady ladr may I ask The he Idd r Hastings J s Nice woman You bet And when hen do dos does the event come off 7 Hold on on- onto to your oui chair for ten minutes and Ill I'll let you OU know Three minutes later the deacon was atthe atthe at at- the widows widow's door and saying Lets you and the me get married L LOrd rd deacon dacon And If I dont don't get set to hea heaven en darn the difference They were ma I o l 0 weeks 11 lat later r. r |