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Show What is Home Without a Dad Robert G. Ingersoll. I happened in a home last night, and over the door saw the legend, worked in letters of red: "What is Home without a Mother?" Across the room was another brief desire: "God Bless Our Home." Now, what's the matter with "God Bless Our Dad?" lie gets up early, lights the fire, boils an egg, grabs his dinner pail, and wipes the dew of the dawn with his boots while' many a mother sleeps. lie makes the weekly handout hand-out for the benefit of the grocer, milkman, butcher and baker, and his-little pile is badly worn before he has been home an hour. He stands off the sheriff and keeps the rent paid up. If Ileber needs a new pair of boots, "cause he's just walking on the ground," dad goes down into his poke and comes up with the price of a hard day's sweat. If Mary needs a new ribbon for her hair, mother yearns for a new wrapper, and the baby yowls for a rattle, down goes dad again and up comes the coin. But if he buys a new pipe for a quarter because the old one was getting sort of strong, he is warned that smoking is an expensive habit and that men have smoked up blocks and farms and happy homes. When circus time arrives, clad comes up with the price, and ma goes out with the neighbors, and Alfreda sparks her beaux in the parlor. Dad's clothes ain't none too good, and grime will stick so, and so he sits in the kitchen with the kids. If there's a noise during the night he is kicked in the back, and made to go down stairs and find the burglar and kill him. Mother darns the socks yes, she does; but dad bought the socks in the first place, and the needle and yarn afterward. Mother does up the fruit, but dad bought it all, and jars cost like the mischief. Dad buys chicken for the Sunday dinner, carves it himself, and draws the neck from the ruins after everyone every-one else is served. "What is Home Without a Mother?" Mo-ther?" Yes, that is all right. But what is home without a father? Ten to one it is a boarding house, father is under a slab, and the landlady land-lady is the widow. Dad, here's to you! You've got your good points, and they'll miss you when you're gone. |