Show II I b C CJ6TIC2CJ 1 N1DLL13 KNOW THEM BY THEIR WORKS Who lives In yonder mansion with tho tdll white columns That Is tho homo of Trashlelgh You have heard of Trashlelgh of course Ho is a book publisher Ho puts out all these books that have pictures of pretty girls on the covers tho kind you know that deal with Now York society or aro about princesses who elope with young American diplomats diplo-mats They say ho has cleaned up something like 1000000 during the last five years Well ho certainly has a fine place A prince might well be proud of It What a pity it is that somebody doesnt buy the poor little shanty next to It and put up a fine residence thereYes Yes It would bo a big Improvement Improve-ment If that were done That Is tho home of another publisher Horatlus Preston Preston I never heard of him No ho doesnt amount to much Ho makes a specialty of literature and it Jsnt likely that ho could afford to live in that poor little shack even If two of his daughters didnt help out by teaching school Chicago Record Herald DULY QUALIFIED 4 t Proprietor of DairyHave you had any experience In this business Applicant used to work In a pump factory Days of Trial Old Santa Claus weve sought to paint As Rood antI kind as could be 1C he Is not a perfect saint Tho Christmas shopper should bo Washington Star An Important Item This scheme of lIfe said a young lady to a wellknown doctor of philosophy phil-osophy seems hardly worth while On tho whole I have come to the conclusion con-clusion that the game is not worth the candle That dependsthat depends and tho grayhaired sago shook his head Upon what That depends upon what you want to do by candlelight Judge The Mean Man Again Where are you going my son asked the old farmer Going down back of the barn to play circus replied tile fredhle faced lad Circus eh Vell tako this saw and saw up a half cord of wood before be-fore you start Youll need some sawdust saw-dust for the circus rlngsPuck THOSE GIRLS AGAIN I c i JackDo you girls really trust each other Dollle Of course wo do Ethel just told mo she was in love with you She confided in me because she knew I wouldnt tell Unfortunate I met a legless man one day A poor unfortunate who begs From everyone who goes his way A railroad train cut oft his legs Oh luckless legless man I said Your plight my soul with pity fills Your legs are R noI bowed my head However do you toot your bills Detroit Free Press The Main Thing She earnestly Reginald would you die for me He rapturously Darling you know I would She artlesslyReggy how much lire insurance do you carry Baltimore Balti-more AmericanA American-A Harmony of Idea These frenzied financier somewhat I imitate Nero in their methods ofde struction How soHo so-Ho fiddled when Rome was ruined Now they do the ruining to tho tune of a lootBaltimore American A Deserved Rebuke Mrs do Close Willie what have you been doing WillieI bin Bkatln Mrs do Close Nonsense You havent boon out of tho house Wllllo Well I bin Bkatln on make bllove Ice with tho skates you promised prom-ised mo last birthday Judgo QUITE SAFE 0o 0e I maIa i Miss Homclco You say a man tried to speak to you in that quiet road Ill have to havo somo ono with me next tlmo I go that way I wouldnt dare go alone now Foxy A fox who was awfully ys Saw a dog of remarkable sis He ran a full mile Then salt with a smile That canine needs specs for his 1s Judge Why He Felt Good SeaverWhat In tho name of all that Is laughable makes Swectson feel BO good Weaver Why ho just won ten dollars dol-lars on a bet SeaverWon ton dollars did he Theres always somo brainless sucker ready to part with his hardearned cash betting on a proposition which any child with brains enough tb blow a whistle would know was certain to bo beat What consummate ass did Swottson rake that ten dollars oft of Weaver Why he rwon it off meJudge EXPLAINED FULLY f t r Mr Squlgg3He made his money in automobiles and football Miss De Kollety He doesnt look lllto a sporting man Mr Squlggs No hes a doctor Chicago Dally News Advice Th z generous world In which we live With good advice keeps men awake TIs something that all love to give And no ono really cares to take Washington Star Why Should He Boast I have seen London said the speaker waving his left arm I have rlddon through tho streets of Paris I havo stood among the monuments of Berlin I have feasted my eyes upon tho beauties of Vienna I have gazed upon the eternal hills of Rome and I Yes interrupted a man In the gallery but Ill bet you 40 youve never seen Main street In Scrubby grass PaChlcago RecordHerald VERY SPRINGY I I a Ill1m i 4 Weary WillieWhy do they leap so high Walker LongOh I suppose Its I cause geysers ar composed of spring water |