| Show I I I qood l JokesJ I TRUE TO LIFE Thanks said tho tragedian I many thanks for your good opinion I always study from Nature from Na tuic air In my acting you seo reflected re-flected Nature herself Try this cigar said an admirer of Nature reverently Now where > lid you study that expression of Intense I tense surprise that you assume In the second act 7 From Nature sirfrom Nature To secure that expression I asked an intimate friend to lend mo five pounds Ho refused This caused mo no stir price I tried several more Finally I asked ono who was willing to oblige Die and as he handed mo tho noto I studied in a glass tho expression of my own face I saw there surprise but It was not what I wanted It was alloyed wlUi suspicion that tho note might bo a bad ono I was in despair de-spair Well said tho other breathlessly Then an Idea struck mo I resolved re-solved upon a desperate course I returned re-turned the five pounds to my friend the next day and on his astounded countenance I saw the expression I was In search ofItoyal Magazine Exchanging Courtesies Barber Your head Is sadly in need at a shampoo sir Tailor In the clmlrYes and your clothes are decidedly seedy but I Jont nag you about It Royal Wage tine i DEEP SEA GOSSIP f 1 b 3tl d yZC ffy a t l i 1V V 1 r 1 > First MermaidWhat was the excitement ex-citement about at tho bottom awhile agoSecond Second Mermaid Why havent you heard Tho swordfish and tho sawfish fought a duel over tho hand of Miss Octopus and now theyll havo to send for n scissors grinder to fix them up Alasl Iull l many a flower Is born to blush unseen un-seen And wapto Its sweetness on the desert sir full many a golfer guts upon the green In throe strokes and takes five to hole out there Chicago Record IIerald Most Economical HouseHunter thought you said this house was a perfect gem Agent Indeed It Is madam Why Uio colllugB are very low Thats so theyll be easy to keep cleanAnd And the windows tire drcsdfully smallTo To keep tho sun from fading the carpets And there Is no bathroom Thats to suvo soap madam Royal Magazine FIDO FIRST + 2 a t Hubby Pray do not misunderstand no Juannotte all I ask Is that you should kiss me before and not after you have kissed tho dog Wife But Leopold dont you think hat tho dog may havo his preference too In the Morning hero lives the mini with soul BO dead Who to himself has never said Confound that loud alarm clocks clatter clat-ter l sut the thing but thats no matter Not an Apt Pupil I have at last come to the conclusion conclu-sion remarked Miss Prlmlolgh that men aro not to be trusted My dear icjolned Miss DoYoung has It taken you all these years to discover that fact 7 And tho subsequent silence couldnt nave been broken with a rock crusher Chicago Dally News Judging by Looks Church She nays she Is only 28 Do you think she looks Il7 Gotham Why yes I think she looks like tho kind of a woman who would say she wna only 28 Yonkers Etati smug I THE FLIGHT I I II I I Came fly with mn the young man said Not In tho chute old faahloned way I My aeroplane waits overhead I And frets tho bonds thnt bid It stay Tli but n pleasure Jaunt 1 nslc Youll try with mo This IK I no llfeloni journeys task Come Fly with me The fervid phrase of other days Kits given way to ulinplo fact No more poetic fancy plays I Our speech Is simple and exact 1 dont request youll live liCe through I And dlo with me I merely am Invltlne you I To fly with me Washington Star I A POOR ACTOR II I I II I r I N I I 1 A I vI stt > fs I i i K g std I I fig I You dont act like a blind man Doing my best sir but when such chaps as you come along Its hard to pretend not to see them Philadelphia Philadel-phia ledger Never Gets Less I All millinery fashions change Koch Reason more than twice The only constant thing at all About them hi I the price Detroit Free Prow When Greek Met Greek Flljison Young Waggles has got the laugh turned against him In his little joke against the Blazes Fire Insurance company Flopson How Fllpsou Ho insui ed 500 cigars smoked them and then sent In a claim on tho ground that they had beon destroyed by lire Flopson And they laughed at him I suppose rtlpson No They had him arrested on a charge of arson Royal Magazine Maga-zine A DESPERATE CHANCE j i 3 p r i r Vorcey First City BoarderLets climb that mountain this morning Second City Boarder Great Scott man would you take such chances First City Boarder What do you mean Second City Boarder Why wo might not get back In tlmo for dinner and theyre going to have three kinds of pie todjiy The Saucy Seesaw A girl budo her escort named Chaucer To tilt on a teeter and toss her Said 1 she with u thud AH she fell In the mud Such a saucy seesaw I noer saw sir Judge A Hard Case JonesIlls wife earns her own money Brown Indeed 1 did not know she was employed JonesOh yes hard at It all the time Brown What does she do Jonos Works him to hand over Half Ifoliday JUDGING BY APPEARANCE cc L 7 e i 71 1l Passenger with sunburned nose Where are tho Itfoprosorvorn kept my man 7 Deck Hand with a wlnkDown on tho lower deck forurcl youll find the bar |
