Show M 1 aY tlMI I l l L I I a RXPJO O S g Savors of the truth Some of the patients here earn as much as 100 a week said the superintendent super-intendent of the asylum for the hopelessly hope-lessly Insane You dont say exclaimed the ns tonlshed visitor How do they do it By writing comic opera librettos explained the superintendent Poor Thing NellI wonder what Miss Passay Is Jolng with that translation of Virgils JEneld Trying to appear learned eh BelleOh no She picked it up In a book store today and the opening lino about arms and the man attract od her r I AN APPEAL Ill I J r tl 5J I + S I a J L I Young Lawyer So you wont let me marry your daughter sir Father No Young Lawyer Then Im going to take my case to a higher court Father What do you mean Young Lawyer Im going to ask your wife Thought It Blackmail The bibliomaniac showing his treasures Here is a book that cost me 15000 The society man Youre an easy mark I must say Tho bibliomaniac warmly Easy Why I was ready to pay twice that sum for It The society manGreat cats What sort of a past have you anyway any-way Puck The Homeless Mut Kind IadIs that your dog Hmeless HolmesYes mum hes me nly friend Kind LadYWell why dont you treat him better He looks half starved Homeless Holmes Ye see mum uc poor mut has ter eat de kind of grub folks gives me er go hungry So he dont eat often At the Boarding House The Intelligent Boarder Yes we have reached the time of year when mind and body crave lighter sustenance suste-nance Let us then avoid all thoughts of things that are heavy heavy clothing heavy reading heavy food The LandladySponge cake Mr Emerson The Intelligent Boarder Certainly i not I Barred Do you think a rich man can enter the gates of heaven asked the intimate in-timate friend No answered Mr Packer I dont dontAnd And why not Well Ill tell you A rich man asa as-a general rule owns an automobile and theres no hope for a murderer Taken at Her Word Put down that glass commanded Mrs Shrug catching ther husband In the act of taking a drink of whisky If you drink that Ill never speak to you again as long as I live My dear said ho gulping it down heres long life to you His Usefulness at an End MessengerMr Spotcnsh there has been a street car accident and Mr Nextllo has had his leg cut off Just below be-low the knee Great Merchant with emotlonI am ruby sorry to hear It He was our best floorwalker A Criticism Mrs Phamlej I suppose youve sen that new book on What To Do Until the Doctor Comes Dr Gruff Yes and Id like to write a companion book to that Mrs Phamley What would it be Dr GruffDont All Crazy Citizen What possible excuse did you fellows have for acquitting that murderer Juryman Insanity CItizenGee The whole twelve of you Cleveland Leader A Sad Case Blanche think It Is a mistake to propose by letter ClaraSometimes I know a man who did it and the girl said yes and Im sure hes been sorry for It since A Mean Advantage lies about the meanest white man I ever met At any late hes successful Ho has taken advantage of his opportunities opportuni-ties Ah His opportunities were small no doubt another proof of his meanness mean-ness Quite Apparent She You know Judge our characters charac-ters are different and I dont want to bo In his way lieYes your honor she Is peculiar pecu-liar and I dont want to Interfere Jlllge1 understand You ask for a divorce out of pure love How It Impressed Him Mrs Whittler LowellIn disobeying me Emerson you were doing wrong I I and I am punishing you to Impress it upon your mind Emerson Arent you mistaken mamma In regard to the location of I my mind Jlfe Paste I see that the women who claim to possess valuable jewels are having them Insured against theft Camilla La Fleur wouldnt care for that I Because shes an actress No Why then Because nobody would steal them No Cause for Worry I have a horror of being burled alive who is your physician Dr Dopem Then you neednt worry His proscriptions pro-scriptions are always fatal Chicago News A Blessing In Disguise Say old man I have a terrible thirst Pardon me my boy a thirst is I never terrible I No Place for Ladles In Brussels said Mr Gazzlngton It Is necessary for travelers by rail to pay regular rates on every piece of baggage they carry Dear me replied his wife who was getting ready to start away with l seven trunks for a three weeks stay on the coast of Maine what a boro it must be to have to live in that horrible horri-ble country They Were Pleasant Too What did that gentleman mean when he asked If your environment was pleasant asked the younger sister Oh he meant the things which were around me while I was in the country replied tho older one Well Julia I never hoard mans arms called by that name before TitBits An ExcuseS Excuse-S e here exclaimed the employer employ-er Youre entirely too slow when youre out on an errand Why dont you move faster Well Ill tell you replied Uio bright once boy Once when our school gave a play I took the part ot an old man and do you know I dont believe I ever got over It Shifting His Prayer Burden 1 A boy of 4 years was saying his evening prayers Ho was very sleepy but ho started In on his customary orison ori-son of considerable length God bless mu an little sister ho said Then he yawned drowsily and broke oft abruptly with The rest of them are big enough to pray for themselves them-selves Gallant Mr Bralx Miss Eldcrlelgh Just think Mr Bralx I am within ten years of 351 Mr BrnlxI cant believe It Miss Elderlelgh Thats sweet of rOilhilt Its true 1 f Mr Bralx Well if anybody else 11 l had told mo you were 15 Id have said they Were five years off anyhow t t Freakish 4 I saw a troupe of educated seals last night Wonderful creatures arent they Yes but what would you think oU black bass that can slnK t r < > ° > < Got out Its a fact Ive seen dozensof In negro minstrel sbqwsjDetrolt Tribune Cause and Effect Hlx De Short has been drinking 8 good deal lately I understand I Dlx Yes hes trying to drown hh grief Hlx Disappointed In love eh DlxNo His tailor refused to trust i him any longer Suspicious I Friend Dont you want your name on Historys page Millionaire What will It cost and what will she print about me It I l dont i An Accommodating Friend Are you fond of music doctor Yes but dont let that Interfere with your singing d r LIKE A POKER GAME M lit try t-ry t 1 w pt I1 t = n y IJM I She Malsle is a queen fit to ma rry a king and just think how near she came to marrying that old Jack I HeIs that straight She Yes She thought he was flush nnn I Letlt Go at That The heavy villain of the barn storming storm-ing aggregation stalked Into the workshop work-shop of tho village editor What did you mean by referring tome to-me as a misfit In you writeup of tho performance last nlglit ho roared I meant itnawered the local molder mold-er of opinion that you were entirely too great for the company you were with And the heavy villain being a stranger to the ways of the village editors believed him r j A Glided Pill Suitor Fifteen thousand dollars A splendid dowry Mr Isaacslolnt But you know your daughter is decidedly decid-edly plain Isaacsteln Veil den I make It treaty tousand By Jove Twenty thousand Shes not so bad looking after allbut still sires hardly beautiful Vat Den I make It tveutyflvo tousand t toilers t It My dear Mr Ivaacnteln what a wonderful beauty doctor you are |