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Show ifhl.Phillipr F THE WAR BY RADIO Dear Ed. Well, I have been following the war almost a year now by listening to radio broadcasts, and all I can make out is that it is a gigantic struggle between the breakfast food, nickel cigar, hair tonic, railroad watch, ice cream, salad oil, savings bank and soap interests. I thought it was a fight between philosophies and systems, but what I mean is that you could never prove it to me by what comes out of my radio set. I have spent the whole of 1940 listening to the radio war news, and as the situation now stands the Nazis are better off in coconut-covered confectionery and part-Havana-leaf stogies, while the democracies are ahead in point on scalp oils, stop watches and the breakfast food that has four vitamins, vita-mins, from what I can grasp. You wrote me that your radio has been on the bum and would I tell you what has been going on, so I am glad to give you my impression. Last night I hear that the Greek dictator, some fellow named Bounds, has had a conference with three TurKisn leaaeri ricn in proteins, pro-teins, headed by Meatena, over the sinking of a couple of Greek ships named Vim and Vigor. It looks like Greece may be taken over and divided between the Tastee Gum Drop alliance and the Open a Check-ing Check-ing Account With Us for Any Sum From a Dollar Up bunch. There is not much new from Africa. Af-rica. Mussolini has took Fruity Bars, Blue Owl and Fair Humor by direct assault, but the British are holding onto the Smoothier and Glossier Hair Area, and Berlin ia remaining aloof. I don't know whether it is aloof of white or rye. The thing to watch is whether the British lose the Pure and Delicious Suez canal, which is rich in those qualities what gives you energy and ambition and a clear complexion, on sale at all leading drug stores, but pretty vulnerable from the air. I don't seem to make much out of the situation in France. Petain, the marshal with that rich, creamy quality, has named a court to try six Frenchmen and a whopping stick of chocolate that comes in three sizes. The French government govern-ment would like to leave Vichy and the watch that is the official timepiece time-piece of 11 railroads and move back to Paris and the soup that comes in 11 flavors at 10 cents a can. I don'1 know what will come of it all on account of I use a dollar watch and do not care for soup except vegetable, vege-table, home made. Personally, I think the situation is very confused and that no good will come of it for us, no mattet what we smoke or eat, but I think congress should stop stalling and pass a conscription law which has at least Vitamin C in it. I also favor letting England have 50 full-flavored full-flavored destroyers and a case ol Meatena in return for Bermuda, a year's supply of Dr. Whoziss's Tooth Powder and any good peach-nut peach-nut ice cream. Yours, Luke. m TOOT! TOOT! ("Railroads to Sell Tickets on Installment In-stallment Plan." Headline) . Oh, give a thought to Wilbur Gaines, He travels on the choo-choo trains; He travels far to see sights new And does it on an I. O. U. He grabs a train to Buffalo Without a thought about the dough; He goes to Frisco or Pen Yan And does it on the credit plan. The Westinghouse Electric company com-pany is exhibiting "Sparky," a me- chanical dog wnicn sits up ana Degs at the odor of an all-hot. And there probably will be some man mean enough to feed it a mechanical frankfurter and roll. A big laugh comes in a Broadway musical when Jack Haley, the comedian, co-median, during a scene in a haunted haunt-ed barn, is advised, "If you see anything any-thing suspicious, just call 'Oh, Alexander!' Alex-ander!' And Haley replies, "Don't wait for the Alexander; just come in on the Oh!' " . MOVIE He holds her hand . . . Wedding bells . . . Rockbound coast . . . Citadels . . . Knife in teeth. He drives away Savages And she's okay. Ruth Page. Ima Dodo can't quite make out which is in the tougher spot, th British empire or the New York Yankees. |