Show MORAL DO NOT KISS jass 11 that I 1 Is do not miss kiss cooks who make bread puddings they had been talking of spiritual manifestations hal haunted anted houses and other cheerful subjects that is three of them had been talking the fourth man had smoked on steadily his hands locked behind his head staring fi into the wood fire just for something to say one of party asked well jack what abo about di you you 1 ever haunted the man they called jack took his cigar from his mouth and with his eyes still fixed on the fire yes I 1 was haunted once haunted by a woman with a bread pudding wrapped in a newspaper 1 I have never forgotten it I 1 will tell you this story because it has a moral amoral and therein differs widely from the stories you have been telling to begin with it was an all the fault of a kiss in the days of his youth and the spring of his blood a man will kiss hiss almost anything feminine if he gets the exi cnance extance ance when mat sori bon of malady came upon trie me I 1 was an under master in a large private school in un the south 0 of f england we had about sixty boys and a correspondingly large force of servants some of those servants were pretty and some preeminent among those who were not was the cool cook r looking back through the vista v is ta of years I 1 know that cookie was homelier than a chinese idol but in those days the elixir mephistopheles gave faust got into my blood sometimes and on one ot of those occasions I 1 kissed the cook it was a chaste salute and cookie evidently liked it that kiss was the beginning of many things all of them unpleasant cookie was a good cook and the fare at that school was neither plentiful nor good besides a good healthy appetite I 1 had bad in those days a great prudilee pr predilection edilee tion for bread puddings A bread pudding is is something like fruit cake only more doughy and it touches the hungry spot better coo cookie kie W was as a gre great at h hand an d at those puddings and sometimes used anaed to make me one for lunch but after that kiss I 1 never had to ask for lunch for cookie went to making bread puddings for me until I 1 rest I 1 would finda find a cold clammy bread pudding under my pillow when I 1 went to bed aud and another would bo be nestling in the bureau drawer among my clan linen such a plethora of pudding would woula pall on my appetite and finally I 1 got to firing the tha delicacies out ortho the win window d oly at 84 alb h 3 A rolling cats and pugnacious 9 sparrows VB JAt came 0 O to pa i 1 rl 1 l l 14 co a atas it it foamed in the pewter r and came home hilarious the next nest morning cookie got fixed and I 1 was not as sorry as I 1 might have been because 1 I corsaw a pudding ingless lesa rest ahead I 1 bade cookie a tender farewell and accepted a last bread pudding of giant proportions which I 1 promptly fed to the cats tl you fellows know that in england the bartenders place is generally filled by a girl mighty pretty girls some of them are too somewhere near th the bar Is what in hotels is called the bara bar parlor this is reserved for the aristocrats and other salt of the earth down at the little seaside place I 1 speak of there was a nice hotel called the red bed lion with a cozy bar parlor presided over by the prettiest girl you ever saw we called her miss dee whether it was the excellent quality of the brown brandy or the superior attractions 0 of f that barmaid I 1 dont know but a lot of us us used ed to got get in thero there in the evenings and sit around and smoke I 1 was in there one night with the usual crowd and miss dee was dispensing smiles and hot drinks with impartiality when she was called to the outer bax bar this was nepa separated rated from the parlor by a screen pretty soon miss dee camo came back with a rather mystified look on her face and coming across to me whispered I 1 I 1 theres a person in the bar wants to see you with more misgivings than I 1 can remember I 1 peeped around that screen there in the bar radiant with smiles stood cookie under her arm she ehe carried something wi wrapped appedu in a newspaper I 1 knew its shape only too well my fate had followed me it was another bread pudding 1 I went out because I 1 felt that if I 1 cookie would probably bring that cold remorseless pudding in amongst a lot of ribald fellows but bat it was bitterer than quinine to see isee how bliss dee looked at me cookie was glad to see sea me very glad she said so she had felt that I 1 should miss her and tho the bread puddings of which I 1 was so BO fond so eo she had made me a nice nice one and brought it down what could I 1 do with the affectionate creature I 1 took that horrible squashy repulsive bundle and carried it home quietly and without ostentation that pudding weighed eight pounds po ands but the load on my heart was greater than that for I 1 felt that that pudding was but the precursor of many and my fears proved true trae there was another place in town where men were wont to congregate it was waa a cigar store kept by three mighty pretty girls one night I 1 was sitting in ia there I 1 had forsaken the hotel for fear of another visit when an unforgettable able face was thrust through the open door doer and I 1 knew that my time had come i went out amid the audible comments of the fellows it was another pudding and I 1 had got to carry it I 1 said some things which seemed pertinent but ant they shocked cookie in my anxiety to get out of sight I 1 dropped the parcel and the pudding padding burst into pieces cookie burst into tears then the boys came to the door of the cigar store and made remarks about jacks mash that finished me por a week I 1 kept away both from the hotel and tho the cigar store atom then I 1 went around to see miss dee she seem particularly glad to see me but bif said isaid she had something for me I 1 it t was a bread pudding three days old and the grease grese had soaked through the news paper it was wrapped in I 1 carried it home needing consolation I 1 went down to the cigar store there was another pudding waiting for me there and the girls were not a bit cordial about it either I 1 permanently fo forsook those two places then cookie really rose to the occasion and I 1 honestly believed she hired a bakers oven and made those puddings in batches for sho she tilled filled the town with them she managed it so that wherever I 1 went I 1 found ft bread pudding ing sho sha raut mat them by boys to the house and she left them at nearly every store in the town by and by the wishing to be obliging got to sending those parcels up to the house that broke my spirit I 1 had lost all my friends I 1 was haunted by bread buddin puddings gs all d day ay and at night I 1 dreamed of them finally I 1 decided deci that there room in the tha town for both me and the puddings so I 1 got out quietly intending to go to london I 1 had to wait for my train and went into the lunchroom lunch room to get a sandwich my ity satchel with a label on it rested ou on the counter one of the waitresses looked at the label and then said brightly 0 0 ive got a package h hero re for you a woman vroman left it two days ago then cha h h led out something wrapped ina in a 1 newspaper 1 I thanked her strictly in words ads and I 1 took that greasy pudding and walked sadly out that night ident I 1 went to france franca chicago tribune |