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Show WMifphilipr F. THE PAPERS OF PRIVATE PURKEY Dear Ma Well you will lafT at this ma but i the army has learned me how to make a bed. If I get out of this war sale ana untn i plain close no matter how bad the employment situashun is I can f get a job as i a chambermade. 1 Making beds is one thing I never thought I would be a expert at but it is one of the first things you get instructed at in a draft camp. I never paid no attention all my life to bed making. I just got out in the morning and from all I knew it was all done autermatically but I am now a first class bed maker and some nice girl could use me as a housekeeper. I no this will surprise you more than anything tho mom when I tell you I am a Grade A dishwasher. They call this kitchen police detail but I do not know where the police part comes in as I never seen no cop doing dishes but they tell me in the army that they call any dirty work police work. Well anyhow I put in a hole day washing dishes and if you ever ask me to help with the pots and pans hereafter and I refews I will apolergize becuz it will be a picknick compared to what washing dishes is up here. You don't wash a plate at a time. You wash 'em in bunches and you have to be a combernashun Japaneze jugler, kitchen canary and all around I have got so good at it that if I had a race with a electric dish washing machine it would take a photo to pick the winner. The breakage is not heayy which is a big disserpointment as I would like to bust more than I do but the crockkery they use in the army is more like cement lawn furniture. You can drop a coffee cup on the floor and it will bounce rite back and hit you on the jaw. I dropped a saucer yesterday and it made a hole in the floor big enough for two men to go threw. I never new there was so many dishes in the army and believe me I never seen no physical training that hardens muscles like just lifting army china. I know a private who dislocated two ribs lifting a saucer. The sergeant says the dishes are just for eating but he can't fool me. If war comes they will be used for throwing. m m My hand and arms up to the rist is all pink and puffy from being in me not water so many hours at a stretch and when g I can't sleep now j I don't count sheep I just count j dirty dishes. I H had a terrible dream last night. " l dreamed I had to do all the pans and broilers all over a second time. You know how the pans and broilers are all stuck up after a big Thanks-giving dinner at home, ma, well there is twice as much goo on 'em up here and I think the skipper puis a coat of hard varnish over it to make it all the harder. I do not like it much as it does not seem to have much glammer and in all the stories I read about war heroes I never noticed a dish washer being mentioned. The ser- - geant says Napoleon started as a dish washer washing French pastery dishes witch is why they call him Napoleon but h.e.is.kidding I gess. ' All the boys is talking about the rumor that this training will last ;' longer than a year, maybe for two years but I wud not mind it so mutch pervided I could go home winters as the life the last winter J was so tuff even those Finns would of been soar. I see Washington says the report is strictly balony but most of us has our fingers crost becus the lease lend bill is passed and any-body knows that nobody who bor-rows anything ever gives it back un- der a couple of years. Anyway ma do not worry as I am still okay except for soar feet, a bad hangnail and a little touch of newmonnia but I am so busy wash-ing dishes that it takes my mind off my suffering. Your loving son, I Oscar. GOTHAM GLIMPSES Greenwich Village: Where poets write rhymes of wagon wheels, Harpies, hams and Cuban heels Times Square: Where yokels vie with touts and snills, Sirens, hot dogs, bars and grills City Hall Park: Where typist, tramp and newshawk mellow Bask near the shrine of Fiorello. BIG TOP By ED WHEELAN JEFF eAN.SS LEARNED THAT Ml'NWILD MAN XEy "THANK S . MAJORS f ' ,V ' ' ' . 't' SSS THE WOT SO AM' SOS ! HAD HAD A HEART ATTACK N SEEING THE ESCAPED GOVERNOR S SPECK THATS I r,; , I j J UELL.IPTVIAT "GRIPT v toes I r - l' NHAT r"D CALL A J ' avk.. ' V OUTFIT IS LOOKING- - ) 3&eS sr U mite letter ; ) rw --nou&L&. ill f TO PUT "SPEED" JACKSON K gj ClM$ 7 JferVr l V V.! .-- jy- - K JfjjpK pis sewing Ha ft VOU really get three t apron patterns when ji for this one : Using it, make two styles of over! coveralls, and a pretty!: around. They all fit trim in place, and protect your thoroughly. Pattern No. 8878 is designed sizes 34 to 48. Size 36, 2'i yar: material for No. 1 and No. 2; trimming; 1 yards for No. 3; frills and binding. Send order SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN 149 New Montgomery An San Francisco Enclose IS cents In coins tot Pattern No Sue Name Address DON'T BE BOS BY YOUR LAXATIVE-R- a CONSTIPATION THIS MODS When you feel gasy, beadac due to clogged-u- p boweli, don do -t- ake Feen-A-Mi- at bedn: morning thorough, comfortiti helping you itart the day W normal energy and pep, million! Feen-A-Mi- nt dowrt your nighfi rest or interfere with next day. TVy t, the gum laxative, youiaelf. It taites handy and economical . . . 60il FEEN-A-MIN- T fFEMALEFfi WITH NERVOUS FEELINGS You women who suffer pal ular periods and are nervous.' due to monthly functional c. ances should find W,f, ham's Vegetable CotnpouM; marvelous to relieve . ,. Plnkham's Compouno" especially for women to w'JJ such distressing iS, help them go smiling "difficult days." Over l.OMF have reported remarkable " JfYORTH TOYING I Any j WNU W Help Them Cleanse tbj of Harmful Body "I Your kidney, are. J wuta matter from the W0Wj J kidneya otnetimee not act aa Nature inWJ.dS move lmpuritiea haH "Dl(t W poiion the system ana tody machinery. Symptoms may be .t pemitent headache, ilMm getting up nighU, ,(J under the ey- e- J,d f anxiety and low Other sign, o "X4 order are ometim j too frequent urination- - .Mf There ahould benodoawj treatment ia wiirer '""Ltl Doan'i Fill: C "Si 11 new friend for mora They have a nttioaj'' fr Are recommended by Jl ,(iJf country over. Ait LALA PALOOZA She Does Some Fast Thinking By RUBE GOLDofcKu FRANCES, AY TAX I I J ' WAS TOLD I jj ( 7 I Y LOOKmPOB T SHE if WORRIES HAVE Snf' Zi COULD FIND LALAW ( OKAY, MISS LALA- - ME . ALA PALOOZA! ( DONE t LOOKIN A fjp PALOOZA HERE- -J V GOT CHA J ' MESS -- ARE YOU feA I'M AN INCOME jrTT S WriU tA50 N E U A r j S'MATTER POP Alert Supporting Column Good! By C M. PAYNE tf iUUH-UH-UH-UH- ! Si:1'lL ' ' :A fern: J OKAY , POP WHEV jjjg VM GONNA FALL'. tT lM F : )OWiP 1 S LET6 GET WoLr MESCAL IKE Br a. l huntley Call Up Again Sometime - n THf POCXHA.U-- ? P2 J 4 THETPACAMT OUT VJWAT AT om1 ' :iSr J' ABOUT v J fT-- f comm' over , Aru,Err; '-- 7 KTHri V ZZTZT (soorvBYe) rwf M'5HC0 y7 Simple Adversity ( Adversity is somettaf upon a man; but for 0; j who can stand prospers are a hundred that wills! POP Cleaned Up By J. MILLAR WATT vcrsity. Carlyle. ow " I I WHAT IS "" I I T UPS&T I UNO THAT ELEPHANT CAME THE MV AND CLEANED jjr, MATTER, IT'S BA6 OF THEM UP WITH MOREEN )! ALL PEANUTS - K HIS VACUUM Ary kl. o rK right; f cleaner; J Real Modesty I When one remains I after praise but after W is he really so.-J- ean 1 ter. I SPORTING THINS FwMlT V 1tJ '"- - By ' LANG , , CMl 5 ARMSTRONG Wj ' "Why didn't y stop icreamtng ao" tell ae that headlock was bur tin' yT" SWEATER Ar STMTS HOME PROM TAKES SWEATER. AFTER k WHIU SWEATER PUTsBoOOWM : : : M SCHOOL. WISHES IT OFF AND WISHES TO DRA6 0 ANP TIES SWEATFB .:;Xy: WEREMT SO WARM HE DIPMT HAVE 6R0UN0, WHICH HE AROUND HIS. m& l m AND THAT HE DIDN'T TO CARRY IT DOESNT MrMO EXCEPT WAIST :: ISJi HAVE HIS SWEATER THAT HE KEEPS STEPPING Vl : on IT AMD TRIPPING I GLUYAS ii:':::S Wll steps aion6 briskly mi back and this works prettv mvm!zo IIILLIHIllO UNTIt HE REALIZES CONCEIVES IDEA WELL UNTIL FIRST COOLER IFHf"pfn- SW: ffm HE LEFT BOOKS A OF MAKING A ONE BOOK AND CWFATFO fij S BLOCK ANP A HALF SORT OF BAG OF THEN THE OTHER 6AIM WA BEHINP SWEATER TO CARRV STARTS DROPPING :&v: BOOKS IN OUT :"x::':.. I irmi n. n mom iM , iS3Sr |