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Show f Order of the Hard Boiled Egg nn nn nn nn nn Its Constitution and By-laws 1 By DAMON EUNYON SO many inquiries have reached tb s office al out the Hard Boiled Eggs to wb ch we havo made frequent reference of late that we feel it incumbent fon s to explain tho matt r We can best do that by print ng a few extracts from tbe rules and by laws of Broadwav Basket No 1, Ilard Boiled Eggs of An erica, for tbe Hard Bo led Lgga constitute a ublic order which bas ejrung up in the Irish Bacon and Scram bled Pggs sect on of tho c ty It is not a particularly new order of course but It bas only recently been reorganized and rejuvei ated with a new set of officers, including a young and active Great Yolk and a new Worthy Candler and a Most Worshipful Spoon not to mention a new Inside Addled and an Outside Cracked Shell The qualifications for joining the Hard Boiled Fggs are simple enough as w II be seen by a perusal of tho rules and by laws wb ch are in part as follows Nevdr, under any circumstances have more than $2 on your person You may have loss, but never more When w th a Tarty and someone suggests going sonewhere always be prompt in declar ng yourself Murmur apoToget cally I m only two f uokB strong I forgot to Dr ng ajiy dough with mo tonight This automatically precludes the poasibil ty of a touch and the expectation that you will buy anything Give Others a Chance ON entering the subway with a party of people always stall at the entrance n order to give somebody else a chance to buy tbe tickets Announce I ve got t right here and fumble for tbe pocket but put just enough delay to the mo enicnt to perm t the other guy to get to h s bank roll Drat An oxce lent system is to stop and buy a paper from the boy at the head of the stairs saying Docs anybody want a fapert By tbe time yon have completed tho pur base someone else will have reached the t cket window If absolutely necessary stop and commence looking around the floor mut tering someth ng about having lost a quarter Th s will win when all other methods fail but as a very last resort stop and tie a shoestring Always happen in on a guy at lunch time When lunch ng at someone else s expense, always complain about the service A wajs speak of the rroprietor familiarly Say I wonder if ol J mmy Tho pson s around If it happens that you don know bim and your friend does and po nts bim out saying There be is over there you remark ind f ferently Oh yes so be is he s got stouter since I saw him last When stand ng at a bar and it comes your turn to purchase leave to cat b a tra n Th s is a trifle coarse but It will answer Having to meet a man is sometimes pretty good . Rules for Cafes, Etc enten a a restaurant alone always take your hat and coat with you to V vour table sternly repelling the advances of the check room boys thus avoid ng the necessity of a tip If with a friend mutter something about that s one graft I can t stand for If with a party and everybody else checks the r hats and coats and you are compelled to do likewise always on leaving fumble in the pocket and mumble something like I don t bel eve I e got any ehange ' Someone else s bound to come to tbe rescue While with the partj in tbe restaurant always be tell ng a ston when the waiter approaches with the check If it is a wine partv wait until everybody else has ordered and then say Waiter bring ns some good cigars If d ning alone wa t unt 1 vou get the finger bowl and then start a qnaiTel with the waiter Thus you can depart with some jnst fication for not tipp ng bim. If with a party n a tax cab never get out first That is fatal Hunt around on the floor muttering something about a glove, until everybody else s out, and then climb out fumbling for the pocket and saying How much was thatt The bill wiU bate been settled by then If alone in a taxicab through unavoidable circumstances always have a row with the driver when you reach your destinat on. so you won't have to give bim anything extra At a hotel, when a bellboy brings you some ice water say Just set it down outside ' , . If a bellboy brings you a te egram say Just si p it under tbe door If he should replv 7 1 can t, it a on a tray open the door about an inch seize the telegram and slam the door quickly General Rules for Eggs. NEVER talk prosperity Always be calling attention to tbe hard tunes Your rent should always be due or the wife and children sick. It is not a bad idea to give it out that you were on somebody s note and got stuck for the works . , , , , If approached by a fellow with the touch 1 ght in his ere always beat him to the punch before he can open his mouth You 6bould say quickly something about just losing a chunk n Amalgamated Asparagus If necessarv have a child die but be sure and pull a long pus in making the announcement , , At the race track never bet more than 2 to a race but always intimate that vou had $00 on the loser Always endeavor to get 2 to 1 on a 1 to 2 shot If tou should happen to hate an extra t cket to a prize fight or ball game or any other event pick out a man to take with you who will supply you with cigars and buv jou several drinks , t . . . , , ,, If jou have a bet on a prize fight and your man is lo ng wa t until the last round and then say you were betting on a knockout only When in a show shop on a pass alwavs pan the performance In speak ng of a man who has plenty of dough alwavs say something about him ha -ing the first n ckel he ever earned. This tends to gi e the impression that ou o rself are some spender Ne er adm t that an thing is on the level |