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Show THE BULLETIN. BINGHAM. UTAH - I - - I Paper Match nobby Richard Stohr. Yakima. boy, hai collected more thari packets of paper matches to ti four years. Every one U dig The youth has two or three pi from every state in the 1 one from Canada, one from land, two from Alaska and ten the Hawaiian islands. VrHLPhillipr U REVOLT FROM A RADIO Elmer Twitchell is suffering from I what is coming to be known as "radio chills." He is beginning to shiver at the very sight of a radio. "Yes." admitted Elmer today, "I'm afraid of the darned thing. It used to be fairly peaceful; at least there was nothing about it to intimidate me. It was Just a piece of furniture between the piano end the vestibule, or a table ornament with cigar ashes all around it "1 may not have been overfond of It, but I considered it a good friend It was a bit obstreperous at times but never savage. It was even safe for women and children to handle." Here Elmer looked nervously around and shed a few tears. "The breakfast food, hair oil chocolate bar and gasoline talks were annoying at times, but they never made my hair stand on end," continued Mr. TwitcheU. "And the minute I heard some radio voice say: 'This is the Peter Pipp Almond Program' I didn't have to duck or have a battle for civilization hurled smack into my lap! "A few words about a tooth pow-der weren't a prelude to all the ghastly details of a bombing raid. About the worst I had to fear from the radio in the old days was some Hackensack Lady Duo or the voice of the man who urges radio fans to watch their innards and buy the Key to Vigor & Vim for $1.50 before it goes to $2.25. "1 could even Ignore my radio and assume it was out of order and per- - fectly harmless. But them days is gone. It's now a constant menace. I have a feeling it can snap, snarl and bite me." Elmer was plainly all upset "It's become a thing of blitzkriegs and bombs and bullets. I'd just as soon have a tank in the room. In fact, I'd rather have a tank, provided it was wired for just the baseball scores and rac-ing results. a e "Having a radio is almost the same as going to war. It's worse in a lot of ways. In a war there are periods when you are too far back to know what's going on up front." e e At this point Ms. TwitcheU put on a gas mask, grabbed a gun and started crawling across the floor toward his radio set, using the other furniture for cover. "This is about time the wife tunes in on one of those programs," he whispered. Elmer had plainly gone nuts, e e e THAT'S MANHATTAN Hi-.- Let the bird students deny this one: During the wrecking of the Ninth avenue elevated, the welders' torches sent showers of yellow sparks to the street. Pigeons flew to the scene in flocks and pecked at each "kernel" until they became disillusioned. I saw it Yankee Clipper, e e e The cards some of those small countries are getting In the Eu ropcan new deal are coming from the bottom of the pact, e e The General Society of Mayflowei Descendants is out to preserve the colonial flavor of Plymouth, Mass One home of a Pilgrim father, it is charged, has now become a hot-do- g stand. First thing we know some-body will be trying to cart of) Plymouth Rock to make an outdoor grill. e e e ZAZZINQ UP THE WAR The bishop of Chelmford proposes that the doleful notes of the air siren be abandoned and that the air raid signal be a gay "cockadoodledoo. to sound the note of defiance and coin-age." It's the best suggestion of the war. How about patterning after the musical auto horn. Imagine the effect on Nazi fliers to be greeted with "Arrah Go On, You're Only Fooling." e e e SONG AFTER SEVEN Night is a mother Climbing the stairs. Locking day's door On sorrows and cares, Drying hot tears, Healing new scars. Quieting fears, Lighting blue stars. Gladys McKee. e The roof of the Capitol at Wash ington is being repaired. It seems there is an amusing theory that con-gressmen should be protected from wind, rain and snow. Italy has a secret weapon. But it can't got It out of reverse. A Chinese laundryman was the first man inducted into the draft army from New York. He was a hand laundryman. This should dis-pose of the idea that everybody 'hinki this is a war of machinery. gsssssMgoTTewwnTaTeT Fun foe die Whole Family .sasae.e.esasasasaaa Tube Resurrected The first deep level tube ri In the world Is to be resur from its long rest and used London air raid shelter. Th nel, running 80 feet below a long a half a mile of South don, was abandoned 48 years, It will accommodate 8,000 In comfort and safety. j I BIG TOP By ED WHEELAN toAD' fcTtgLINfr HAD AM EMPTV BERTH 1 LA'0"7"g; Lo- T- HfuFpifrT.' UTTir V L ABOVE HS AND THATS WERE RED SLEpf i RAp W5 AEOJTTH' I ', -- 6lt7T grAH"5 (THEH TELL (WhEADS SDlMG TO Bicycle Origin A crude, two-wheel- vehicl pelled by tha feet was lnven 1816 by Bsr von Drais, chief fo to the grand duke of Baden! called draislne In honor of hi consisted of two wheels of j size, arranged tandem and' nected by a perch. j 'What Comfort! WhatConvenien What a Location, visit Silt Liki Cilj Center shops, theatres, business . beautiful heated rooms . . . Tilt bp radios, telephones . . . Locked gift 1 1 Low winter rates. vLNEW AMERICA HOTOR LODGE MAIN STREET AT STH SOW DON'T BE BOSS! BY YOUR LAXATIVE -R ELI Si? CONSTIPATION THIS MODERN Wban you feel gasiy, headachy due to cloggad-u-p boweli, do at do take Feen-A-Mi- nt at bedtime, morning thorough, comfortablajf helping you start the day full of normal enargy and pep, feeling IB millionl Feen-A-Mi- nt doesn't your night rait or interfere with next day. Try Feen-A-Mi- the cis gum laxatira, youre It taste tof. bandy and FEEN-AilN- T I WHY SUFFER Function FEMALE J COMPLAINT tydla E. Plnfcham'a Vegetable Coof UHelpd Thousands I Few women today do not have some fanetlonal trouble. Mayba you v ' Yourself getting reetW mood depressed lately your work Mk bW Then try Lydta E. HnknaniV Vef Compound to help quiet nnstruntJ reUeva monthly pain jemmee, b headache) and weak dioy tn?n due to functional dlaordern. yean Plnkham'a Compound has new dreda of thousand! of weak, runaofs Toua women. Try WNU W K Todayt w0 " ,'urclL A 'J I R 1 Hbe accepted as rj 1 1 JIIJbJIJI of looarVj 'CJCW"; opinion taw'P NJiVSi of the able phf" whe test lie 'g " ' Iran's nnder laboratory ''"TZ These physicians, too, appro re evert 1 of adrertiaina; you read, the D,t'?" which is only to recommend aa a good diuretic treatment for 'J oi the kidney function and for the pain and worry It causes. I If more people were aware of kidneys must constantly remoyctj thai cannot atay In the blood Jury la health, there would be beff derstanding of why the whole bodyP when kidneys laft, and diuretic Pf tion would be more often employe Burning, scanty or too 'requeniia tion sometimes warn of disturbed function. Yon way suffer nasttfiJ acie, persist'eat headache, attacks w linesa, getting u nishta, wc'l",'f-ne- ss under the eyea feel weak. all played out. Use DtnS PUlt. It Is better toW a 'medicine that haa won world-- claim than an aomething less knows. AA your utigkbcrl LALA PALOOZA --Maybe I ft Something He Ate By RUBE COlPBERG , My uncle Vll protect! I imagine a boggle! 1 17 yes, mister boggle i a woman , MUSTN'T KNOW YOU FROM MY WORKING FOR A y I WE HAVE A NE WGIRL WITH . j UNCLE'5 J WHlSgts 1 Wucob I am LIVING ' AND AT THE TOY FT s He CAN NEVER JoCTOPuSJ VOICE WITH ALL fAY ) Y n TE -- HB V MY PILLS ! j " r S N Frank Jay Marker 8ynUeU. Inc. Gift Suggestion j One waj to sure popularitj pipe and "makin's" smoker say "Merry Christmas" wi big one-pou- Christmas gift age of Prince Albert smokib bacco. See them at your dei In gay holiday wrapping inci gift card and every big one-- i tin chuck-fu- ll of prime, rici-bi- P. A. the cool-burni- v co. Your tobacco store has ?: Albert in the pound gift tinsf ents all ready to bring lift cheer to many a man's Chri$ morn. Adv. S'MATTER POPWell, Sir! Grandpa Wat Fit to Be Tied I B? C ' , CRR- - RR-RRU- t YainY D.6NIF1&D! j N L fCIj l rJl RR-RRU- 1 WAIT A ,Y YArEAH V J A f , K ) i Confidence Confidence is that feeliifi which the mind embarks inlj and honorable courses with a hope and trust in itself. Cic MESCAL IKE By s. l huntley Buines Is Picking Up , J - P Short Life f Our life is scarcely the tf of a star in God' eternal I Bayard Taylor. j By J. MILLAR WATT POP--Nol Just There Visiting I WAS BORKI IN A HOSPITAL, fi WHY & VOU ft f iKft,,, (,r Tt BUI S.iiillnif In.-- Strength In Solitude ! When is a man strong u; it feels alone. Browning. 1 111111 ' i e -- la war rignl. imk. we'll eacb have to carry our owa erase!.' NO MORE j T T I DINNER i Kill Sfw Iew iffilP "3tM1. TURNS HEM WW TO IN- - COVERS MOUTH AND PINNER STUX KINS PROFFERED, HE PUSHES $POON AWAY PUSHES PIATE AWAY, WITH wwtVmv moreDinner roth hands, emphatically PppJ ijjl TRIES TO PUT A STOP TO ON BEING PULLED DOWN INTO FEELS THAT ITS PRETTY 'Ss5k2' TH N6S BY TURN NO HIS CHAIR, PROTESTS WITH HARD, SOMETIMES, 6ET- - SSstifts. BAK AND CLIMBING UP FLYING RMS AND LESS, TINS AN IDEA ACROSS BACK OF CHAIR ONE KICK LANDING ON PLATE, TO GROWN-UP- S, AMD Pfe AUTOMATICAL! END1NS DINNER fiOE-- TO SLEEP Sy SujtS ,ttmm4 ThM SrMHm. |