Territorial Enquirer | 1881-03-02 | Page 4 | Wit and Humor

wit and humor A lawyer does not always abw ays put his wit in ia tho the bri briefe r of efI anew new york herald neri ild landlords agents in ireland aye are I 1 I 1 men of 0 mark 1 norristown herald A word to tho the wise wine it the swearing a oltia ars frs dono done at once wl will save nine much bondi hand acho clie elmira denver has haa a policeman who writes poetry and tho the editor who to publish it is ia liable to go to tho the lookup lockup an english journalist won was recently explaining wily why thoro there aro are so eo few interviews lit in english jon mals 11 our reporters said ho be 16 will go us its fur far as an american but they aro are so polite that they do dd not wish ish to print a mans ideas until after ho be is ia dead still and then ilion it is too loo late into dr knox of 0 now york state thinks lie he ailts lilts done a big tiling thing because lio lie hits klught some pot pet pigs to play piny euchre lot him go into a pon ilon bog bag pardon on auy any of our r railroads rail ail roada roads and ho he will find what ahat ho be thinks la in n u curiosity is ia a common enough thing f boston transcript book critics aro are all linguists ono easily discovers this fact by reading their criticisms on books translated from foreign languages they usually wind up nil by congratulating tho the tra tranada nala tor on oa having preserved tho the charm of 0 the original in till all its freshness und aind beauty bohton boston times the galveston boy is progressive ho he was standing in a crowd ol of boys on the sidewalk nide walh when his mother called to him to go down town anti and bring her a 11 demijohn of whisky thelroy was vas too busy to go but he bo called out 11 bond tho the old man ive ITO got considerable confidence in lim him LG galveston alveston news was there ever a bettor better example of tho the witty and concise form of espres aboa common to the real western american than the answer of the grim manof aim ol 01 the Sier bierre who when naked asked abozar tho the character of a neighbor sententiously replied 11 mister I 1 dont know very much cinch about him bat bat my impression is that hed make inako a first clubs Bt JOKE ON TUB THE Cruit anay cly thoy toll of 0 a very cultured divine in boston llos too who I 1 vt d ot of buying baying 11 the collection will now be taken up impressively remarks I 1 the accumulation of 0 moneys will now onsbe f elmira freo free prom proba brit it ft Philadelphia clergyman a great athlete and lover of sports forgot himself once and said 11 here ordeth the first inning lot us pray AN OP OF HEINE A vienna viottia paper prints printa a now new anecdote aneo doto of 0 heinrich aa acino daring the yours years when ho be was laying aitho foundations of his fame ho he was frequently ia want of money once when ho he was waa poverty strick stricken elf he wrote to a friend lor for help saying baying it yott yon dont send and me fifty thaders at once I 1 shall starve to death and live have it charged to your expense NEAH it neither of them was wa over 10 years old aid one leaned against the fence and tho the other rubbed bisback his back against a lamppost lamp post and they eyed each cash other for a long time then one of them said aid 11 uy my mother has got I 1 a I 1 now new slin skin bile Bacri no aa ind and conra 11 1 fi I dont caro replied the other she friezes frizzes her hair and uses caos paint and just jnet ns as tony the I 1 family were telling riddles one evening and the 5 year old told this four little bapper hoppert toads oada mt mat on it a tree two wo hopped off air and then there were three nobody could guess it well she explained 11 one of them hopped right back again 11 who told you yon that riddle 2 asked mamma nobody replied the little one ll 11 I 1 it up myself BAD OP OF ills HIS days DATS who would not go back to bis childhood at this season ortho of the ear a and bo be once more a beautiful boy 1 beio illy probably be bl nobody beautiful boy is ia line fine when when we look back a upon pon it a snub annb nosed little boost boast with t freckles r anti anil hairline hairlike hair like a bulldozed sofa pillow anti and think of tho the time when be too had bad ilia his christmas our only reflection is ia lie he was good but bat ho he ute tile too much now new york commercial advertiser A german saw jew lately entered the abere ol of a well known new york merchant with a wide baut band ot of craps crapo on his hia hat on being naked asked the cause he be said 11 you do don othoar dat I 1 lose mein tile fife she was a goot boman oal cal boman und I 1 grieco because I 1 lose her bar I 1 ladder lose all do clerks ia my dau dan dat boman perhaps this thia was the same bamo nian who vehemently cried when a case of goods had haa boon been returned to him 1 I vill ivill not estand dig da Del indignity yon von dla dis must be A F FACT ACT bol smith tells the following story etory 0 hia export enco as an aa entertainer at a small ohio towne town whore where ha hall had given his perform unco since the previous night ho he mot met at the depot the following allowing morning an elderly granger who while ho he peacefully munched a huge quid of 0 tobacco in tautly eyed the hu humorist moriat and finally finalli said gaid 11 bay mister hent you the tholen fol low wot gin the show up to smoots hall lost night yes as replied KuB Itu soll esell 11 I 1 did give an enter entertainment tu at smoots last night nigh t wall I 1 thought you was raa the chap I 1 wanted to tell tall you bout a boy ot of mine you ought to have him hes just tho the follow tor for your show hes the d dest tool fool 1 I ever see sea A YANKEE CO mr mir elijah hitchcock was a connecticut constable whose character was under scrutiny deacon solomon rising was waa inquired of about him I 1 deacon solomon hising blain I 1 said the lioner questioner tI oner do you think mr hitchcock is an honest man 2 very promptly ohl oh no sirl air I 1 not ll 11 by any means meana ai well ell do you think he is a mean man 7 11 well with regard to that said ill the a deacon a little more deliberately I 1 way may say that I 1 dont really think he is a mean man ive avo sometimes gome times thought lie ha was wa what you might call a a pendent matt man L what do you moan mean by a prudent man 7 well I 1 mean thia that one time bedad lie had tin an execution ir for lour four dollars against the old widow Witto Witte here and ana ho he went up to her house and levied on off a flock of ducks dricks ile chased them dacks one at a time round the louse peaty much ell all day and every time ho he catchall rat clied a duck dock hed set right down and ring fins his neck and charge chargo mileage aga anil and his mileage to more than the debt moan about it a as a I 1 know of 0 but I 1 always thou thought slit t that hat alter after that that my mr hitchcook was waa avery a very prudent man BIBO