OCR Text |
Show lore's where the baseball umpire I gets his. I pow will mourn if tho wheat nipper I shall be nipped. I And if it vras trouble Apostle Grant I was looking for, he found it. I As lo his future plans, Castro ap- I pears to be very much at sea. I, A little more ginger on the new aquc- I duct construction, if you please, j But; the moment the coal man leaves ! your back door the ice man takes his ! place. A little more of the same sort of J iroublc in Turkey b-.1 Europe will soon l bo rid of her "sick man." !. What the County Attorney means is j that Apostle Smooths "Mouth" shall J "cough up" the graft money. . "If thine eye offend thee, pluck it j out." The same doctrine applies to ' amputation of the Ulaek Hand. ; However, we have heard of no small boy attempting to steal into Nature's ' pantry to swipe that Niagara ice jam. ' Many a man who looks pious enough to have gone to church on Sunday could easily prove an alibi if he wanted to. I( Broadly speaking, the consumer is also the producer; so that both in going go-ing and in coining the tax is slammed onto him. Tf it rajns on Easter Sunday wo aro sure to have seven wet Sundays all in ; a row. oh I So superstition has been stung again. After the way he has .kepi 'cm siirred up, our local "prohibitionists" I are beginning to look upon him as a little early "Reiser. Whether Or not our own ex-President shall be permitted to return .to his I'ountry will depend largely upon those ferocious African lions. It is true that folks can't cat their money, otherwise I hey probably would rather than be obliged to give up so ! much of it for what, they do eat. Of Utah "prohibition" forces, Ilebcr .I. can at least claim such honor ami distinction as he may find attaching to the title of "nasi" grand master. One good way to avoid being run over by automobiles is for pedestrians not lo trespass upon the roadway lo which these vehicles arc rightfully entitled. en-titled. Secretary Wilson of the Department of 'Agriculture declares that there is plcntj' of wheal, in ihe country. So says Speculator Patten plenty for his purpose. " H' Vesuvius was in a quiescent state dur- H' ing "Mr. "Roosevelt's visit lo Naples; fl probably for the reason that it did not desire to have its eruption appear tame in comparison. Today begins the construction in Salt Lake of what is to bo one of the largest H; and best equipped hotels in ihe United H' States. As wo have remarked before, H; "Watch us grow. Certain newspapers aro printing a Ht serial entitled, "The Journal of a Nog-j Nog-j loeted "Wife." If they are just they will at some time permit the neglected husband of the pink tea wife to have H' liis turn. H' President Taft will come to Salt Lake during the G. A. "R. National Kncainp- H' incut, provided Congress will vote him tho usual $25,000 for annual traveling expenses; and we hasten to assure the (V 'rrrocsn'f ti that a visif f0 .7!irn'rr Zion at any old time, lot alone next August, Au-gust, in worth every cent of the money. |