Show amodel editor A man who runs a paper should know every human caper and hold up tho torch of knowledge liko a gleaming midnight taper he should be profound as plato pliant as a boiled potato and as humble to his patrons as a street and crossing scraper he should honor in his journal every captain crank and colonel and dish up their proud achievements in a hodgepodge cooked diurnal He should puff the hardened liar clubs and concerts church and with long adjectives sonorous sweety seraphic and supernal he must write the funny column that makes all his readers solemn with the fashions frills and flounces furbelows fur belows and what dye calam quell the copy fiends wild revel squelch and massacre the devil and put on a brow of thunder that shall petrify and ap he must be a news reflector of the lyceum and lecture and rain down his taffy torrents on the veteran milk inspector he must be a prompt adviser to each foreign king and kai keep out his keyhole telescope to dodge the bill collector |