Show r P LITTLE ELBERT EL A ERT A A DRAMA IA OF ANY HOME IE HOMEI I want you to see Elbert hes he's a n dear Just five years years old next week said Mrs Twitchell as her herold herold herold old friend Grace Tooker called Elbert yelled Mrs Twitchell Oh tl t El 1 bert ti There was no answer beyond something strangely like Choctaw screams among the shrubs Mrs Twitchell called again and after alter a awhile awhile awhile while Elbert appeared He was immediately Im Im- Immediately Immediately mediately preceded by a crash of glass as an old tin can full of stones came through the window and landed at Miss Tooker's feet Hand grenade exclaimed Lit Lit- Little Little tle tIe Elbert as he rushed In In grin grin- grinning grinning ning triumphantly Elbert this Is Miss Tooker be be- began began gan Mrs Twitchell Youre dead declared the child addressing that lady and pointing to what he had explained was a I deadly weapon he cute cutel said the visitor I Bang BangI Bang barked Elbert I got you right between the eyes Now Elbert where are your I manners asked Mrs Twitchell Boom yelled the child point point- pointing pointIng ing some curious contraption at hi hl his mother Watch out ont Its It's a bazooka Youre You're both dead now Boom Boom Stop it child Miss Tooker Isn't dead and neither am I. I I better get back Into those foxholes Insisted Elbert rr rr buzz z buzz buzz z rr I Bombers away way I Elbert Twitchell stop that non non- nonsense sense this minute ordered Mrs Twitchell sternly Youre in the I house hoose now v. Wham ml m Bam ml House Is gone Direct Dir ct hit said Elbert S Mrs Twitchell him I Ian finally got by byan byan an ear and made the child shake hands with Miss Tooker he a fine little man said Miss Tooker unconvincingly ss sh Whish ss-sh ss hissed the child pulling a piece of hose from his belt and pointing it at both women Tall Fall down do Its It's liquid h fiah You'll all burn up sh ss He goes on like that all the time sighed Mrs TwitchelL vitchelL T I know how It is said Miss Tooker who felt somewhat battle worn There are three little boys next door to our house and they took Naples 48 hours ahead of the army One of them broke a leg last week jumping oft off of the barn with a tablecloth for a parachute All they think of ot is Commando stuff said Mrs Twitchell Elbert tells us he Isn't Elbert Twitchell hes he's Elbert Just five years old this week ch eh mused Miss 1 Tooker On Tuesday I must send him a birthday y pres pres- ent I bought him two lovely chil chil- children's childrens childrens children's childrens children's drens dren's books Triumph Through Fire FirePower FirePower Power ver and Skill With the Bayo Bayo- Bayonet I net I saw one in the bookstore win window I dow hell he'll love lo e. e said Miss Tooker What was it How to Cripple an Adversary at Close Range said Miss Tooker Ack Bang Bang came echoing from the back yard Ack LINES ON AN OVERWORKED TEAM I I Were working on it used to be beAn beI beAn An explanation pat I And we are looking Into it ItI Was simple straight and flat I But now a new words word's all the rage And swivel purr To any sort of inquiry I Its being PROCESSED sir You ask about your oil fuel-oil book And seek a yes or po no being processed is the gag That r S to flow You cannot get the bare facts on Your milk gas coal or meat The office is processing it it Comes through the summer heat heatHey heatHey heatHey Hey what about my two boiled eggs You ask a waiter walter and being processed he be re re- replies plies I trust you understand A phone call takes a half haU a day day- day Im waiting you complain Its being processed Is the way That central will explain One day you kick the bucket and You reach St St. Peters Peter's gate But no one one knows about you and You have to stand and wait walt But finally its it's all explained As all the angels sing We have your application but Were We're processing g the thing Tough Spot In some cities restaurants are urged not to serve butter with willi lunch News item At lunch he asks For bread and butter His llis dark disgrace Is simply utter The ten cent glass of beer is go- go goIng goIng going Ing to be a thing of the past Sec Sec Secretary rotary What do you ou mean going to be be I Henry I Ir r |