| Show I r DOG CLUB FULLY ORGANIZED Permanent Officers Chosen and Felicitations Indulged in Over I the Retirement of DogCatcher MacPherson I The Canine Thought club held a meeting meet-Ing last night elected ofiicers for the ensuing term and spent u most profitable profit-able eenlng l the officers were elected unanimously unani-mously and the utmost harmony prevailed pre-vailed Alma Katas setter Turk who I first indignation was chosen chairman of the frst dignation meeting held and has since acted as the head of the organization was made president dog Cor don Hig glnss spaniel Sport was chosen vice I president Fred llalielts pug Dot was I I made secretary Clarence McCornicks I I Llewellyn setter Jake was retained as permanent treasurer Jim Smiths bulldog I j dog VIe was selected a drugglngout dog Thomas Tlptons Mickey Doogan was elected watchdog with bin brother Si Perkins for assistant and Richard Treslzes Duke was decided upon for dog on the whole proposition The president oa taking the chair made a short Inaugural address full of keen ItlIclHms and also briefly outlined I out-lined his policy which was thoroughly I In accord he said with the constitution 1 constitu-tion adopted at the previous meeting 11 observe from the dally papers he continued that former Dog Catcher MacPherson has resigned and that a former Utah artilleryman has been appointed ap-pointed to succeed him This is well I feel thai our work has had a good result re-sult already and that all dogs may now hope for better treatment and a fair run for their silver There Is of course a possibility that this new Incumbent of tho office being accustomed to shootIng shoot-Ing the heads off Filipinos may find it Impossible to discontinue his decapitating de-capitating habits and may amuse himself him-self by cutting off the heads of dogs but he may overcome his fondness for seeing animals without heads We all I feel sure hope so 1 think he has made one mistake I observe that he has retained as assistant tho same underling un-derling MacPherson had This man was In reality our great enemy but he was of course merely an agent of MacPher sons I is possible that tho new dogcatcher dog-catcher Is only keeping this man while searching for u new official 1 hope this is so We want none of the old staff retained The new dogcatcher has not consulted me as to his appointees appoint-ees but I am led to believe that all appointments ap-pointments will bo submitted to this club for confirmation The meeting is now open for expressions from mem bers There is T believe turning to the secretary no unfinished business I would suggest that we give our attention atten-tion to events tonight current ton tonllht eyel18 Does the citys water supply como under that head asked one of the membeis Dont get rosebushy young feller admonished the dragglngout dog The funny young dog subsided I would like with the kind perm Is I sion of the club said a St Bernard belonging be-longing to l college professor to say Hi few words about men und horses They are both so very amusing on occasion As I was coming to the meeting tonIght I observed a crowd before the Tribune ufilce There is almost always n crowd there but 1 was led to stop because of 0 j I i remark or two I overheard Joining I the crowd I observed a horse lying on tho street He appeared to be in pain and was unable to rise Inquiring I I learned that lie belonged lo Farrlng lons stables I seems that the driver of the hack to which the horse was at taclied for you know horses are foolish fool-ish enough to work noticed one of the horse was lame and unhitched him i The driver was leading the horse up I I tho street thinking the exercise ould thlnldng exercse help him when suddenly the animal I fell and was unable to get up again A I crowd quickly gathered and wisely told what the trouble was Its stifle and you want to open his head and put some I salt In It said one How in h would you open his head With an ax said I the driver No its not slide said on I other Its his kidneys and hell never speak again Better kill him now Thats not kidneys His hoofs are turned You want to got him cork soles and give him sweet oil until he gets I all right was the advice of another I Its his hips Get him shoulder braces and put the white of an egg in his oats was another suggestion lies only hidebound Get n hot poker and punch him with 11 was recommended Put 0 chip under his tongue lies bil lous said a policeman Its appendl j cllls Take him to the hospital and have him operated upon Nothing else will do him any good Dont you sec I how wet he Is They always sweat said a man with sunset curls Try electricIty I looks like paralysis was the advice of another expert Give I lijm something to eat and hell be all right Its exhaustion Ive had them spells myself was ajsp stted and the fool suggestions were slUl being made when I asked the horse what really was the matter with him Its all 1 raw bluff he said I havent had a day off for three months and Im trying to work the firm I all shows what I fools both men and horses are Men dont know enough to keep their faces j shut about things they are Ignorant of and horses have an idea that by falling down in the street they will win sympathy sym-pathy when Instead they ore always kicked in the ribs and told to get up and filled full of a lot of experimental logic A dog knows more than anything any-thing When a dog wants a day off ho Just takes It says nothing and explains ex-plains when lie comes back And ho I dont work Men and horses do The remarks of the members were listened I lis-tened to with muqh Interest and after singing What Do You Think of tho Dogs Who Think a composition by ono of tho membersk written In dog time the club adjourned |
