Show t i e. e Memos Memo of a Girl Friday Dear Mr l W. W Billy Dilly Ro Roc c offered the editors e of the Commy Dally Daily Worker a job In his Diamond Horse Horse- Horseshoe Horseshoe Horseshoe shoe revue Billy considers their flip flops backups back and somersaults the most comical in the world Tip the newspapers to see the next edition of The Hour Hour amazing amazing rev rev- revelations revelations on activities of Ukrainians in the U. U S. S readying sabotage etc campaigns A new Nazi trick be be- because because cause cause Germans and Italians are no longer in good standing over here and Ukrainians wouldn't be sus suspected suspected suspected The German Military In Washington is supposed to have told old Washington reporters July 27 is the timetable date for the Nazi war ma ma- machine machine chine chin to take over the Ukraine Pearson and Allen are furious with ex Congo J. J J. J OConnor O'Connor of NY They claim to have a n certified copy of a letter from OConnor O'Connor part of the Kansas court record In which I Ithe the ex congressman ex-congressman recently wrote I U U. S. S Judge Richard Hopkins of Kan Kan- I I sas Alleging that two out of three U. U S. S appeals court judges In NY were with him in la the Congressman 1 Sweeney libel action against the I Pleading sure victory In N. N Y OConnor O'Connor asked Judge Hop Hop- Hopkins Hopkins kins to postpone any decision in Kansas but Hopkins promptly dis dismissed dis dis- dismissed missed all of Sweeneys Sweeney's suits against 10 Kansas newspapers Hurray for him On Labor Day 1939 after aCter the Com Com- Commies Commies Commies mies and got married you reported this Charlie of Place Elegante says vodka Russian and Rhine wine German Gennan is poisonous when mixed In other words we scooped Mr Hitler HiUer by two years Your Your Girl Friday Underground Ticker Tape The most illustrative underground story circulated in Germany is about the time Goering visited the director director director tor of an important munitions plant and asked him if U there were still any Social Soc l Democrats Catholic Centrists Cen Cen- Centrists Centrists or members of the other out out- outlawed outlawed parties among his workers Well said the director about 40 per cent of the workers in my factory are Social Democrats about 30 per cent Catholic Centrists and about 30 per cent are still mem mem- members members bers hers of the other outlawed parties Forty per cent 30 per cent and 30 per cent bellowed Goering That makes per cent Arent Aren't any any of your workers Nazis Oh of course was the reply they are all Nazis During the early days of the Nazi occupation of Paris whenever Ger Ger- German German man officers entered a cafe the French patrons would promptly get getup getup getup up and walk out This so infuriated the conquerors that they issued an edict forbidding Frenchmen to leave leavea a cafe for at least 15 minutes after the entrance of a German officer After that whenever a German officer entered a cafe the French French- Frenchmen Frenchmen Frenchmen men present would reach into their th ir pockets and pull pullout out small alarm clocks which they th y set and placed on the table At the end of 15 minutes the alarms would go off oft all aU over the place and the Frenchmen would rush for the doors In Holland on Prince Bernhards Bernhard's birthday all loyal Dutch citizens wore a white carnation the princes prince's favorite flower as a symbol of de defiance de- de defiance fiance to the Nazis Angered by this display of insolence on the part of the conquered people the Nazis went around tearing the carnations from the coats of passersby A short while later Dutch sailors made their appearance on the streets and in cafes with carnations prominently displayed on their chests The Nazis soon desisted from tearing them off oft The car car- carnations carnations carnations nations worn by the sailors con con- contained tamed ingeniously concealed razor blades In Holland one of the big problems lems in the underground warfare against the conquerors is how to find out who can be trusted One couple solved it in this manner A few minutes before two o'clock every afternoon the wife shouted to her husband who was working in the garden Come in dear Its It's al al- almost almost al- al almost most two Two o'clock be be- being being being ing the time for a London news broadcast their next door neighbors reported them to the Gestapo The Gestapo didn't arrest the couple however because they were able to prove that they didn't own a radio But their neighbors had swallowed lowed the bait and unmasked them themselves selves as Nazi stool pigeons Ever since the t e Nazis conquered Holland the natives have been for for- cP f. f n to listen to the Dutch broad broad- broadcasts broadcasts casts arum irom London but most of them defy deCy the regulation at the risk of their lives One Dutch wom wom- woman woman an who was recently caught listen listen- listening ing to BBC the British Broadcasting Broadcast Broadcast- Ing ng Chain was arrested The in- in Gestapo asked her on A i t wanted to hear Hit t er speak r. r as vas her calm reply Hitler III tier said hd he qs v-qs going to speak from rom London last hast September and Im I'm still waiting for him |