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Show POLICE COUKT. His Honor Holds lain Usual Monday Session. "Owing to circumstances over which the court had no control", remarked his honor this morning, "this court is about four minutes behind in donning tho judicial ermine. But wo will now proceed to grease the wheels of justice with the oil of facilitation and for a time things will hum. "John Jackson you are charged with being drunk and disturbing the peace. It is claimed that you insisted on buttonholing people and trying to persuade per-suade them that you were a candidate candi-date for coustablo on the democratic demo-cratic ticket. I suppose all this is a result of drinking Sunday closing whiskey from a bottlo in an alley. I am free to admit that tho average liquor would make a man go home and steal his own pantaloons, but the law recognizes no such extenuating extenu-ating circumstauees. However, I will be as easy as possible with you and will give you your choice of punishment. Ten dollars or ten days." "May Smedleyyou are hero to answer an-swer to the charge of vagrancy. People Peo-ple assert that you do nothing but borrow bor-row nickels, work the can and after tilling yourself with beer mako tho night hideous by singing Annie Laurie.' You set up as a plea that you only drank three glasses of beer. If what they term a schooner is strictly speaking a glass, you swallowed two or three Cunard vessels and a lino-of-battle ship. You will peel potatoes in the city prison, and at night do battle bat-tle with tho insects for ten days." "John Doe, this makes 1,500,000 times you have been before this court or some other charged with disorderly conduct and being intoxicated. in-toxicated. I will give you a fortnight to repent." "Before adjourning for its meal this court desires to say that in future business busi-ness must bejtransactedon a more rapid plan. Complaints must be made earlier in the day. This jail is no permanent boarding house for men awaiting trial. Attorneys will please take notice." |