Show STORIES OF CLERGYMEN MEMBERS OF TSE THE CLOTH HAVE BATE ODD experiences I 1 distressing accidents that have occurred in in church during services A wedding fee I 1 1 l I 1 not a few clergymen have a keen sense of humor and in spite of the sc serious kafure of their calling they see man many y funny unar things lit 1 the course of their professional life indeed they themselves are often the chief actors in ludicrous mishaps and though at tile the time they may not fully appreciate the humor of the situation tion they are pretty certain to do so 80 after it Is all over and they even enjoy telling IL a joke at their own expense herewith are given a few humorous experiences of clergymen most of whom are now in this th city A young young episcopal clergyman clerCy marx who was profoundly dill ident had occasion shortly after hit his ordination to hold service in a rural schoolhouse it Is perhaps not easy at best to make a liturgical service impressive in an edi flee not intended tor for worship and with a cong degation mott moet of whom are either ignorant of or indifferent to such inch a service the was keenly amaie of this but at the same time being a good church man he was especially ally desirous leal rous of conducting conduct lne the ser nice ace in buch a way as to Impress the non episcopalians indeed with that conscious egotism pardonable in youth he r rather other felt that the future of the church in that neighborhood depended on the way nay in which he acquitted himself A DRESSING ROOM EPISODE nervous before ho he began at all an untoward incident occurred that added to ills his unhappiness there was aos of courtie course no boom lit in the school cut but one of the good ladles ladies with tile the love of the church in her beast tried to make a temporary dobing boom by stretching ft short sheet across one of the cornera coiners behind this blacet lie he retired and stained stai ted to take olt oft his hi coat and waistcoat in order that lie he might put on his cassock but lie was a largo large man and the three cornered space was wai nery cry small the result was waa that in stretching ills his arms lie he struck the sheet a and lid the fastenings being weak it fell down revealing librn him to the lion 1 divested I of his 3 coat and waistcoat lit in all the glory of a bright red flannel Ili shirt firt with ii a walto dickey in the tron fron t there was an audible snicker in the congregation in which it Is needless needle to say thit that the poor fellow did not join and the meriline nt was increased by bv the hnud remark of a little hoy boy ma ila what JS the minister un dressin dress ln hi for with a face almost it as seal let as ins its unfortunate still bolit t he hurried on ills his lobes and came out to b begin egin tile the service but nil his troubles were not yet ended for a kneeling kne eline stool the ladies provided one of those little low benches the ends of which extend quite a distance beyond tile the legs ile he proceeded to kneel on tills this bench for his opening silent player but in his disturbed state or of mind he miscalculated and knelt too loo fa far r toward one end the result was of course that the other end tilted tilled up and he fell ingloriously to the mound whereat several ungodly youths near the loot door laughed loudly such a series of mishaps might have disturbed the equanis equanimity mity of the most moat seasoned public speaker and it Is not strange that this poor pool follow fellow was reduced almost to the verge of co collapse 11 a e lie ile Is now a distinguished man and a charming and self possessed speaker but he says saya that lie he never recalls that tb at dreadful incident without feeling it a shiver of stage fright A DESPERATE SITUATION the mishaps of clergymen wit who are slaves to their manuscript would nil fill several volumes it they were recorded some years cars ago aeo an episcopal clergyman in a certain city was unable to an raster easter sermon owing to the press on lenten lt nten work and decklet deckled to I reach preach one of hits his old easter sermons that hat his congregation had not heard before going to the church on easter morning lie he put it in his pocket as lie he thought but when lie he took it out in the vestry room lie discovered to b ilia 1 horror that eliat he had brought a christinas sermon by mistake the situation was vas trul truly r desperate tile ali i service was I 1 about to begin bt gln lie did not have tim time ato to go back to hla his home and nobody else could ind find the sermon bermon he Wa wanted sited while last 1 s t of all he was unable to utter a sing single 1 e consecutive sentence without a fore him h b but in ills his extremity lie he saw a way 0 uta nta nt way 1 trot mt loesther loe ether free from p possibilities of danger clanger but lie he NA was 3 irl in no pill position lion to A is pick and choose As h he e hurriedly uri feIY turned oyer over the leaves of his hi a vermon pennon he saw that by I 1 substituting agn for born end modifying other words and phrases plira ses the sermon might he ae made fairly well wel I 1 adapted for easter lie he would have been wholly at ease it hn could have made mad 0 t these liege oban changes fres with ills his pencil but he h e did not have time tor for that all he C could uld do was to cross out the text A write rite in its tt place the first nen een tence of the epistle for tile the day and draw ills pencil through a few sentences that he saw could not possibly be used tin on raster easter with this he was wa forced to be content and trust the evens event to an all ulso providence AN DAI BARRA manuscript in ha Is h heair 1 1 however he feared that prot providence id Is not disposed to help the eliote who it he get into trouble through their own on carelessness and it was with a quivering voice therefore that he read the service preliminary to the sermon As he uttered the stately words of the liturgy life his mind was busy reforming and modifying the of than sermon sometimes he thought he had it all recast in tills lila mind but while striving to retain the 0 of it it suddenly sudden lyvan vanished and ills mental vision saw only the christmas sermon what it if he should get rattled and preach pre sell as written the thought threw him luto into an agony of 0 tear fear at first he grit et along alone very well by changing born and birth to risen anti and resurrection and modifying clauses here and there ere he found him atlin dellvera dell verl 9 a anost excellent easter discourse an and d he began beean to feel himself milster of 0 the situation dut but he soon made is a dreadful break forgetting I tile the necessity of constantly editing hit his copy lie read one sentence oj as it wast was As we island ahli ill morning with the also u ise nien men around the manzer maneer of B bethlehem ethlea lehem e in and loin join in the hymn hark the herald angels angela slim that was wa us as far ar as lit lio sot great drops of 0 perspiration stood out on his big temples and ills his voice v 0 fee failed ailed tilma 0 of arrid amazement zem ent ran rail through the congregation filially Il nally to retrieve if ho he rad nad the sentence oer 01 er wain chatir chan ing lne it to As wo we stood on christ ties morning PIC etc I 1 anil and ended it he never kno knew w 11 how ow this blunder made film loo 1000 his head find and in lh ell rea ot of the sermon he beveral times forgot to may bay risen ulgere 11 here lie he had written born the vermon was the talk of the pariah for or beelin meelin m fkr hut but it was a good enod lesson for tho the clergyman an lie set about learning to speak without noten and lie he its 1 now a forcible extent poran luranc oua speaker rp inappropriate SERMONS SERa IONs A few months BEO ago art an english re paper toll told a story etory tt of a 1 clarg Y inn W alio was wa 0 called sudden suddenly ay to preach before the lh student s 0 of f a co colleen liege lie ile hurriedly ebony out of f h his tes babrel ba irel a rmon of general ren cral character which lie thought t ought would bo be appropriate an and inthout residing it went to the college col leire I 1 the congregation of which wn wa n holly 0 of Citti dents lie he rot got ramo famo uv until near the close cloe hen he amazed the loya bayis by beginning I 1 ahli in it Dro r radon N thu and now a word in nt i vou who are arc mothers ith th mrm morl had I 1 i ure for a L pt pi mk bous colin r gaid the preacher did not have the presence of mind to modify it on the same line Is the story of 0 the young clergyman who was pr preaching eachin 9 on Runn running inc the christian race pace ile he a also so A was As a slave to 10 his manu manuscript serl pt and unfortunately wrote a most illegible hand lie he got ot along very welt until he not got to the sentence let u us sw my friends run like st pa paul ul t throwing h r 0 ang ft bilile e every v e r y weight that t bin hinders d ers us u wiel gilt a and n ke keeping e 1 1 n g c our yes eyes on oil tho the victors victor crown brown 11 I 1 in n an evil moment ho he lifted ills his eyes from his manuscript when he came a n 0 to tills this nen sentence tence let us my cri friends e n ds lie he said bald in his big most moat solemn fernn pulpit tone run like and then forgetting the rest of the sentence he looked at his manuscript again but in his confusion he was utterly unable to ind find tile the place owing to mi ills crabbed chirography anti anil for the moment lie he could not remember what lie he lad had written there was only one thing to do 10 lie must finish the sentence extemporaneously sly but in ills his present state or of mind that was not an eay easy thing to do lie ho hoped that by repeating it however some thought would come to him film so he started over again let us my friends run like then he paused V for r an idea and ns As he lid did so it hashed flashed through his mind that men given to profanity it if any such were present might m finish the sentence to their own in minds i rids by supplying the name of oc the place of future punishment it was horrible to think that he was thus tempting men to profanity let us ui my friends ho he exclaimed again in a desperate desire to say something run like everything TI the le ending was absurd and ineffective enough but still it was an ending and that Is a great deal to the orator when he Is suspended in midair on the lagged point of an unfinished sentence ills HIS PRIDE HAD A PALL FALI some years ago said a well known clergyman when I 1 was as younger and greener ma than I 1 ant am now I 1 was spending ending up a portion or of the summer at a summer hotel there was mas no church near by and so it 11 wa va the custom to hold service on sunday morning in the hotel parlor if there was a clergyman in the house available it if not the people tried as best they could to do without religious privileges well one saturday I 1 was very much set up by receiving from the landlord an invitation to officiate on the sunday following who 1 I thought could have told him that eliat I 1 was anas spoken of by my friends its as a ili ing man sly pride soon had a fall however when I 1 learned that he lad had tried in aln alli to get two eminent clergymen from the neighborhood to come and lad had only fallen bick 0 on n I 1 me nl as a Z a I 1 last resort sunday was very breezy and at the same time hot so all the parlor windows were open I 1 preached then wholly from notes and was lit in the habit of wilting willing my sermons on light sheets of paper As it happened my pulpit which consisted of four or five soap boxes with arith tile piano cover thrown over them was vas right in the path of a small cyclone I 1 could not ask to have the windows closed on such a hot day there foi e I 1 decided that I 1 must keen one hand band or at least il a linger finger on my manuscript to prevent tit alie pages from being blown away I 1 like tills prospect for a man cant hp bp impressive while thus holding down lily liki eloquence but there was waa no help tor for it there was miss a pretty good attendance in the pallor and the plazza outside was mas lined with men reading the raborn morning papers and smoking the service went orf off well largely ov om ing to A a choir of pretty girls and I 1 stepped forward to my soapbox soap box bok pulpit in my sermon on it and firmly held it down with my lert left hand I 1 announced the text and had got through about three rages when the wind appealing to die down for A a few moments I 1 thought I 1 might venturie to lift my left hand off the pages for a second leeond in order to make an impressive gesture with my two hands it ilai was a fetal fatal move without the slightest warning a terrific gust of nand w ind swept in and blew every page of my sermon away each page being blown in direction what a catastrophe this was to it a young wid and easily flustered man only a public speaker can understand A catastrophe unfortunately in my efforts to clutch my manuscript when nhen I 1 saw the mind coming coining I 1 disturbed the equilibrium of the soapbox soap box pulpit and it fell over there I 1 was van the picture of desolation my sermon scattered all over the room my pulpit a leeap of soap boxes with big bundled letters on the side aide Clean cleaners erns best laundry soap and eve everybody inside and outside laughing lit fit to kill can you imagine a 0 situation more mor e terrible A couple of harem college boys P proceeded to 0 rebuild my pulpit aud and I 1 bless them to this day for doing it with faces as sober as judges I 1 think my misery touched their hearts heart various persons came forward with pages paces of my sermon and most of thern them kept dom laughing outright themer the merriment was nag renewed however when one little girl asked lit in anxious tones headd in every corner of the room Al i lamma anima Is lie he going to do it all over again finally binally I 1 got all my sermon back bach and wiping the tears from their e yes eyes the people tried to resume their c church faces expecting me to resume my discourse it was then that I 1 took look a heroic resolve putting tho the sermon in my pocket I 1 said my friends after this distressing accident I 1 cannot preach the sermon I 1 had written writ terl bu but t it you will bear with alth me I 1 will ray bay a few words without notes I 1 think I 1 really gave them a better sermon than the one I 1 had started to preach anti anil I 1 have ne neer er used a manuscript since 1 I once had a funny experience in marrying a country couple pays A a clergyman ot of this city tho th bridegroom was a decent young farm hand all and d happy and bashful to the point where I 1 asked him wilt thou have this woman etc he made no reply the bride whispered something to him and then lie he stammered mister will you say thern them words worda over again im a lettle deaf I 1 repeated repealed the question in stentorian tones willie while I 1 was conscious of the poorly suppressed merriment of the by I 1 when the man caught the import of 0 the words lie he looked at me in surprise and then blurted out you bet I 1 will flints what im here tor for under such circumstances it was hard to preserve my dignity but bul I 1 did the best bent I 1 could and pronounced them man mail and wife then the proem groom save gave me a genuine surprise coming up to rne me he paid mister the damage nothing I 1 replied 11 1 I ant am glad clad to have been of 0 to you but I 1 wont have it that way he said 1 I know its the custom to give the minister some BO methin and as aa you wont name a sum ill do it my myself and he handed ed me ft A SM 20 bill new york tribune |