Show FLASHES OF WIT something every man ilan has to part mith a comb philadelphia record sir mr cheviot 1111 do you know who ho I 1 am my little fellow the little man yep tep youre the feller who la Is going to propose to my ar sister te L life I 1 f Str Straw awber bor how did you like that barber ber I 1 I 1 recommended you to Shi gerly first rate old man I 1 never heard those old lit stories of oc yours I 1 told old better betler in my life detroit free 0 people dont die very often over here do they inquired the smart new yorker no only onre replied the philadelphian and there wits was nn lin intense clience philadelphia la record 0 0 when women vote it la Is to be hoped they wont be allowed to bet bonnets on the election otherwise their husbands would certainly be ruined when the time to pay up came texas sifting 0 1 I is 1 noticed says uncle mose alose ida clat t do de fellers dat does docs de mos inos ln a an tRI kill about deir future life Is tie de ones dat dont come nigh anve nil n all deir money in it Indi indianapolis anapo its journal 0 you cant elleve believe anything longbow says I 1 wonder liow how he came to be such bitch on a it internal infernal liar he vias ft as once a weather forecaster and I 1 suppose the habit adicks philadelphia record 0 commissioner officer I 1 find on the testimony ot of the witnesses you have brought forward that you yen are guilty of the charge preferred against you I 1 will therefore line fine you fifteen days pay and warn you not to repeat repeal the offense officer gratefully thank you sir thank you marnma mamma to little daughter daught cr nevel neve forget to thank god for everything my child child it I 1 like it too ciamma yes always everything Is for the best child running in an hour later mamma thank god ive broke the ilia new pitcher harpers young people little gill looking at impressionistic landscape manima mamma what whal made him think it 11 looked like that harlem life what Is reason asked the teacher float boston of the smallest boy in the class blabs its hat my daddy never has tor for lackin me was the confident reply detroit frea press papa aalf little isaac lie vot Is vun von hun derat per zent it depend ls ta on replied Ring shelmer vun von hund erdt per zent Is small profit but tat a larch beddle ment hohf oh your debts life 0 what Is that dog good tor for anyhow low asked cynicus pointing to C can tn laa iss st bernard was lying near by looking dignified good foil foi retorted canis that dog Is a perfect gentleman hes not supposed to be good for anything puck will any one tell me shouted the prohibition orator who save those engaged f in this accursed tr frallic trall allic lc get I 1 any be beneleit nellit from it and a voice from the 11 7 audience replied well were a payin you SO a night detroit tribune A young gentleman nina isis passing an examination in physics ho was waa asked aked what planets were known to the ancients cien ts well sir air lie he responded there were venus venua anti and jupiter and after a pause 1 I J think the earth but I 1 am not quite Cert certain aln tit lits my tn son said bald mr air dinks with a frown mr waldorf tells me lie was hit behind the car with a piece of putty tills this morning were you the boy that blew that piece of putty 1 I cannot say eay papa said willie pieces of putty are so no much alike that I 1 doubt it if I 1 could identify mine harpers bazar 0 rather here rm im giving you an expensive education so that you shall become a lawyer hoping that you may eventually occupy a position on oil the bench and you spend your time going to prie fights and the races son its ILs a vin necessary essary pait of my studies father I 1 want to become a pollee police justice some da day ny brooklyn life 4 at tile revival meeting stranger I 1 should lle illee to say bay a few words tonight leader I 1 dont know have you had a career of crime been a drunkard or anything an y t h i n fr of t that h alt m sort 0 r t S t i a n g er no q 0 ill indeed d e e I 1 can truly say ay I 1 have always led a a correct life leader alt all very well no doubt but the people wont care to listen to you better stay however and hear the reformed pugilist abid nil mole the saved t hief both ot or lera em are rattlers lera boston transcript the modern modem servant know her place sho she cant she cha changes viges too often puck 0 mary do you believe it lii 14 possible for it a girl to bo be so homely as to stop a clock jane janel l I dont know you ran easily find out however boston transcript 0 mrs mra cawker quoting halt half the world docant docs doe nt brit know how the other halt half lives mr lir cawker Caw kerIt it aught to loin join your sewing society and lind out Haili hoi ors nazar bazar why was their engagement net lement broken aft ona did they qu quarles arlel no that was the trouble they were both so BO amiable B that they got tired fired of each other 11 philadelphia record w how do you like that colored valet you imported from alabama H ht wont do the mutter matter 1 I told him last night to get out what I 1 needed for the ball and he brought me my razor difo 0 1 I want you to understand said a belligerent man at al a meeting hat sou cant be any czar here well 1 then said the other as he sulkily got into inlo his overcoat ill hunt up my stenographer r ill be a dictator it if I 1 dla die for or it IL washington star 0 alsa ablo sweetly I 1 can remember when you made your debut amr years and years acara ago KO miss mars owe oweeta etY ilow how thoughtful sou IOU are now I 1 begin to remember nhen you roade made bouret chicago record ecord Il shoo shoe denler denier if a woman should come in and ank you to show her ber a good commil sense ne shoo that wod wand not pinch her fot foot what would you do 40 would tie be clerk Cl erkId id bring out a 0 shoo shoe about two aftel ino small for or her lu in journal P left ifft tile the berry reception in a hun buff did he be what ws was the matter mahlert mat lerT hla HIS hat check was 11 number parker Is ono one of 0 the harper pers kozar french Friend sh lp are you going to the or e ra tn night asked a parisian no we had tickets but we were afraid of bombs bombo and we gave KAVC them to some borne dear friends of ours italia hallo 0 0 husband irritably it a year benco you sald bald you believed our marriage was made in heaven and yet you order me around na as it 1 I 1 anybody wife calm calmly ly 1 order la Is heavens heaven first law new york tork weekly jt it la 19 all very well for tile the minister to preach preach from the text remember lots wife said bald an overworked discouraged cout cou raged ged matron but I 1 N wish ish lie would now give elvo us an enc ing berman upon pon the cifes lot lowell courier ready to learn justice severely how could you sir be no mean as to swindle people thit put confluence confidence in you Pil well judge ill make it worth to yer if tell me how to work them as dont life air tubbs we W e havo have decided to employ you mr air rather at a 0 valary salary of pr per annum mr air rathor rather 1 I am sorry barry that thal I 1 shall have to refuse your kind offer unless you consent to pay mo me lers sir 1 I 1 r tubbs astonished W w why sir mr X dont want to pay any ine income 0 me tax hallo A well known litterateur not long ago affo delivered a lecture before a buhalo buffalo club and lit in the courso or of his talk ho he had occasion to quote Shake lines about kneary lies ali the head that inears a crown etc at al the conclusion of 0 ills his address h he e wat was a approached by a scotchman expressed his pleasure nt at the talk but took occasion to say bay that his approbation of shakespeare was only limited ahw theres that bit you said about the uneasy head and the crown I 1 dinna like it IL its foolas h now our nobble burns would na lia ha writ such stun the lecturer was a trifle ti surprised but inquired politely bihy the sent scot thought a aa 9 he did oh said bald the scotchman theres there a no na a mon man jn in scotland ung or anybody else sae foolish an a I 1 to 0 go to bed wl A I 1 it a crown on any man 0 sense hnud ud ban hang I 1 g it over a chair lefore before turning ln in harpers drawer 0 you can easily fill 1111 the public eye it if you only have the dust texas siftings 0 0 when lid did her husband die last week why Is she in hilt mourning oh they were divorced puck 0 mabel do you not think sir mr do de little littie a man of small caliber grace perhaps but im sure of one thing lies hes a bis big bore brooklyn lite life 0 1 1 I know im a little itt irritable john but if I 1 had to live my life again id marry you just tho the sanie same lim I 1 have my doubts about it tit bits Is the bishop it a broad man and liberal libi era I 1 in his views oil my ves vea hes brawl abroad most of t the he time end and in giving his views he Is most prodigal harlem life 0 1 I hear that your sons last drama Is 13 a failure 1 ai I want you to understand that my bon acon wiltes so BO fast that he does not need to have h his Is plays performed move moie tha than n once File Fl lesende gende blotter blatter brabbs did rI nIcUs enjoy himself at the church fair last night not a lit bit there thera were oysters in the stew blew and it was positively painful to see his disappointment philadelphia record politeness explained mrs Moi larity doing dulaff paris dye notice liow how polite these are to wan another ano lher mr Morl arlly YIA bc corry I 1 do be 1 lave ave each wan av thim Is afraid av ivery other wan av of them puck homas father well thomas T you have graduated front from college coliece and are now ready for your life work what will be your field son thoughtfully well to tell tile the truth sir it Is IL a little hard to decide between left and ceriter center texas sift ings 0 0 nagged richard insinuatingly say ailster SI lster ster have yer yc r got gat enny suggestions ter make ter a teller feller wat aint able ter er dime ter git shaved with crumply passing on yes les raise whiskers duffalo courier 0 0 9 madams madame discovers discover ls baptists baptiste in the kitchen in the act of gulping down it a good draught of wine dont scold me madame im taking tills this to pull mo me round ive had such a shock for it a minute ago afro I 1 smashed that ihal japan vase you thought so much of le 0 employer to clerk I 1 hear bear youve just juat scot got married bunkle and I 1 im sure you cant support a on the salary youre receiving clerk joyfully expecting a rise no alli dont see how I 1 can employer just what I 1 so better leave brooklyn life |