Show it The Octopus BY O HENRY THE TH E GENTLE GRAFTER RAFTER 6 i I Marooned Copyright 1907 by S e Co A trust Is its weakest point said 1 Jeff J eft Peters That said I sounds like one o of those unintelligible remarks such as ashy Why hy is a policeman It is not said Jeff There are no nori ri lations between a trust and a police policeman man tan ran My remark was Vas an an axis axisa a kind of ot in What That hat it means Is that a trust is like an egg and It is not like an egg If It Itou you ou want to break an egg you have to todo todo todo do it from the outside The only way to break up a trust is from rein the Inside I f p sitting on it until it hatches Look at the brood of young colleges and libraries chirping and peep peeping ing hg nil Il over the country countr Yes sir every eve trust bears in Its own bosom the seeds of ot its destruction like a rooster that crows near a Georgia colored Methodist camp meeting or a Republican an tn toun himself a candidate for gov sov governor govEnor Enor of Qt Texas I asked Jeff Jen jeeringly if he had ot c r miring juring his checkered career conducted na un enterprise of tho tim class Jo o which the tho theod wo word od d trust had been applied Some Somewhat Somewhat what hat to my surprise he acknowledged I tI corner comer Once said ho he And HAnd the state seal or of New Jersey Jorse never bit into a charter I that opened up a solider and safer piece of legitimate We had ev fv everything everything in our favor wind water po police o olice lice e nerve and a clean monopoly of or an article Indispensable to the public There a trust buster on the globe that could have found a weak spot in our QUI scheme It made Rockefellers Rockefellers lers little kerosene look like a But we WG lost out Some unforeseen opposition came up I suppose I said No sir it was just as I said We were It was a case of au There was a rift with within in the loot as S Albert Tennyson says I You remember r I told you ou that me and Andy Tucker was partners for some years That man was the most talented connIver at tt I ever saw Whenever he Saw saw a dollar in an another another another other mans mens m ns hands he lIe took it as a per personal personal personal grudge if he take tate it any other way say ay Andy was educated too besides having hain a lot of useful information Information information tion He HI had acquired a big blo amount i of experience out of books hooks and could I talk for hours on any subject connected with ideas and discourse He had been In every line of graft from lecturing on Palestine with a alot lot of magic lantern pictures pi turEs of the th annual Cust S 2 t t J t t i 1 1 1 I I r y I iU t H 1 i flU 1 11 1 IV f UJ 1 J I Tic Qt 0 Andy was especial by Clothiers association convention at At Atlantic Atlantic Atlantic lantic City to flooding Connecticut with bogus wood alcohol distilled from nut nutmegs nutmegs nutmegs megs One spring me and Andy had been over In Mexico on a flying trip during which a Philadelphia capitalist had paid us 2500 for a half Interest In a silver mine in Chihuahua Oh yes the mine was all aU right The other half in interest I terest must have been worth two or or three hundred thousand I often won wondered wondered wondered dered who owned that mine In coining coming back to the United States Stages Sta s me and Andy stubbed our toes against a little littie town in Texas on em the bank of ot the Rio Grande The name of it was Bird City but It The town had about 2000 inhabitants mostly men I figured out that their principal means of existence exl tenc was in living close to tall chaparral Some Somo of em cm were stockmen and some somo gamblers and some horse peculators and plenty were in the smuggling line hue Me Mo and Andy put up upa a hotel that was built like something between a roof garden and a sectional l bookcase It 11 began to rain the day we got there As the saying Is Juniper Aquarius was sure turning on the wa water water Water ter plugs on Mount lount Amphibious Now there thero were three saloons in Bird City hough neither Andy nor me mc drank But we could see the towns townspeople townspeople townspeople people making a triangular procession from one to another all ail day da and half haI the tho night Everybody seemed to know kno what to do with as much money as as they the had The third day of f the rain it slacked up awhile in the afternoon so me mc and an Andy walked out to the edge of town to view the Vie Bird City was built between the Rio JIb Grande Orande and a adeep adeep adeep deep wide arroyo that used to be the theold theold theold old bed bod of the river The bank between the stream and its old bed was crack crackIng crackIng Ing and giving way wa when we saw it iton iton iton on account of the high water caused by the rain Andy looks at it a long longtime longtime longtime time That mans intellects was never idle And th than n he unfolds to me a in instantaneous Instantaneous instantaneous idea that has occurred to him Right there we organized a trust and we walked back into town and put it on the market markE t First we went to the main saloon in Bird City called the Blue Bl c Snake and bought it It cost us UR u And then jve we dropped in m casual at Mexican Joes place referred to the rain and bought him out for CO The other one came easy casy at The Tho next morning Bird City woke up p and found itself rn oi island The river had busted through its old chan channel channel nel nd and the town was surrounded by roaring mating torrents The rain was waH still raining and there was heavy in iii inthe Inthe the northwest that presaged pre aged about six moro more mean annual rainfalls during the next two weeks But the worst wort was yet ct to come Bird City hopped out of Qt its nest waggled its it pin feathers and strolled out for fur its toot LoJ Lo Mex Mexican ican Joes place was was closed and like likewise wise wio the other little littly dobe lifesaving station So naturally the body politic emits thirsty ejaculations of or o surprise and ports helium for the Blue Snake And what does It find there Behind one end of the bar sits Jefferson let Jef ferson Peters octopus with a er on each side of him ready to make change cha ge or 01 corpses corpes as ns the case may be beThere beThere beThere There are re three thre bartenders and on the wall valL is a It sign reading All Blinks One Dollar Doar Andy sits on m the safe Hife in his neat blue suit and gold banded cigar cigal on the Ule lookout for emer enier emergencies g The Thc town manhal marhal If b I there therewith therewith therewith with two deputies to keep order having been b n promised free drinks by the trust Veil AVell ir dr ir it took Bird City Cit jut Just ju t ten tell minutes to realize that it was in a cage We Ye expected trouble but there any The citizens saw that we had hadem hadem hadeln em eln The nearest railroad was thirty miles away awa and it would be two weeks at least before the tho river would be ford fordable fordable able So they the began to cuss amiably and throw dollars on til fh bar till tillit tillit tillit it sounded o like lik a selection sel on the xylophone phone 6 rr cr c cl cI co r l I o And nd he leads the main street of Bird City v t There was about 1500 grownup adults in Bird City that had arrived at years ears of indiscretion and ami the majority of em required from froni three to t twenty drinks a day da to make life endurable The Blue Blu Snake was the only place where they could get lt em till the lio subsided It Ii was beautiful and simple as all truly great swindles are About 10 the silver dollars dropping on the tho bar slowed sl wed down to playing dud and marches instead of jigs But I looked out the windows and saw a hundred or two of our mir cus ens customers customers standing in line at the Bird City Savings Loan company and I knew they the were borrowing moro more money muney to in be sucked in ill by b the tle clammy tendrils of the I I octopus x At the th fashionable hour of or noon everybody odY went home lionie to dinner We V told the tho bartenders to take advantage of the lull mu and ami do the sonic some Then me nie and Andy the receipts We Va W had tak taken n 11 in ill 1300 We Vo calculated that if Bird City would remain an island islami for f r two weeks the tho trust would be ablo to o 0 II endow the th Chicago O university it with ith 11 kt t new flaw dormitory of padded cells celis for the faculty and ancI present pr nt every wr worthy worth poor poorman poorman poorman man in Texas with an improved farm provided h Iw he furnished the site for it IL Andy And was wis especial by self belf est jm 1 at our success su ess the tho rudiments rud J of f the scheme 1111 originated f in hi Ins his own and premonitions He got gotoff gotoff off oft the safe and lit the Ule biggest cigar in inthe Inthe the house Jeff says nys he lie I dont suppose suppo c that anywhere in iii the world you ou could find three with brighter ideas about ng the tho proletariat than the tho firm of Peters Satan Tuck Tucker er incorporated We Ye have sure hand hald handed handed ed the nall consumer a giant blow In the Jho region No NoWell Noell I Well ell says ag I T it docs does look as if Ir we would have to take up gastritis and gold goldor or bo be b measured for tor kilts in spite of our ourselves ourselves selves This little turn in Iii bug juice is verily all to the tho Skibo And I can can it S I Id rather batten than bant any mu lay day I Andy And pours out four fingers gers of our best bl t rye and does with it as was wasso wasso wasso so intended It was the first drink I had ever vel known him to take By Bv way of a liberation ilbe atlon says saS he lie to the Gods God And then thell after thus doing umbrage to the heathen diabetes he lie drinks an another another other to our success And then he lie be he gins to toast the tue trade beginning bc inning with and the Northern Pacific and andon andon andon on down he thie line to the little ones like the school book Combine and the oleo oleomargarine margarine rine outrages and the Lehigh I Valley and und Great Scott Coal Federation I Its all right Andy says I to dink the thc health of our brother mo monopolists monopolists but dont overdo the was wassail i sail cail You Yon know our most eminent and loathed lives on weak tea toa and dog dug biscuits Andy went in the back room awhile and anci came camo out dressed dres ed in his best clothes othes c There was a kind of murder murderous ous and soulful bog loog of gentle riotous riotousness riotousness ness n s in iii his eve that I like I watched him to see what turn the whis whisky whisky ky was going to take in him There are two times when you never can tell what is going to happen One Is 15 when whenn n It man takes takER his bin first drink and ana he the theothor I other othor is when l n a woman takes her latest In less than an hour Andys skate had turned to an ice yacht He lie was outwardly decent df Cent and managed to pre preserve preserve preserve serve his lila aquarium but inside he lie was Impromptu and full of unexpectedness Jeff says he do you know that I Im a crater a living crater I a hypothesis says I But youre oure not Irish Why dont you OU say sa creature according to the rules of t Tm Im 1 ni the crater of a volcano says he lie Im all aflame and crammed in inside inside inside side with an assortment of words and phrases that have got to have an 9 x oflus I can tieI millions of synonyms and parts of speech rising in me says he ho and Ive got gut to make malte a s ech of some sort ort Drink says sa S Andy always drives mo me to oratory It Jt could do no worse says I I From my earliest recollections says he lie alcohol seemed to stimulate my sense of recitation and rhetoric Why in Bryans second campaign ps ys Andy they the used to give gle me three gin and Id speak two hours longer than Billy himself could on the silver question Finally they me to take the tho gold cure I If youve oue got to get rid of your excess says I why wh not go out on the river bank banI an speak a apiece apice apiece piece pice It seems to mo me m there was an anold anold anold old spellbinder spellbind named Cantharides that used to go and himself I of his windy numbers along the sea seashore seashore i shore I I YNo t Xo sas says Andy I must have an audience I feel like if I once turned t med loose people would begin to call Sen Senator Senator i I ator Beveridge the Grand Young Sphinx of the Wabash h Ive got to get an au together Jeff and get this oral distension assuaged or it may turn in iD inon I Ion iDon on me and Id go about feeling like a edition edillon de of Mrs Irs E ED ED ED D E N Southworth On what special subject of theo theorems theorems rems reins and nd topics does oes your our desire for seem seeni to be connected with 1 I asks I aint particular says Andy I Iam Iam Iam am equally go goI d l and varicose on all subjects I can take up the matter of Russian immigration or the poetry of John W V Keats or the tariff or literature or drainage and make my audience weep cry cr sob and shed tears by b turns turn turnell Well ell Andy And says sas I if you ou are bound to t 1 get rid of this accumulation of vernacular suppose you ou gd go g out in town and work it off on sonic some indulgent citizen Me te and the boys bo s will take care of the business Everybody will be through dinner pretty soon and salt perk and beans makes a man pretty thirsty We Wo ought to take in 1500 more by midnight So Andy goes goes out of the Blue Snake and I see him stopping men on the street and talking to em By and by he has half a dozen in a bunch listen listening listenIng listening ing to him and pretty soon I see him waving w his arms and at a crowd on a corner comer When he walks away they spring out after him all the flaw and he hi b leads em down the main street of Bird City with more men joining the procession as they go It reminded me of the old that Id read toad in hooks about the Pied Pled Piper of Heidsieck charming the children away from the town One came and then 2 and ancI andi 3 i got under the wire for place and not nota a Bird citizen came in for a drink The streets were wore deserted except for some ducks and ladles ladies going to the stores There was Avas only a light drizzle failing then thenA A lonesome man came along and stopped in front of the tile Blue Ulue Snake to scrape the mud off his boots Pardner says I w what hat has hap happened happened This there was hectic afoot and now it seems more like one of them ruined cities of Tyre and Siphon where tho the lone lizard crawls on the walls of the main port portcullis cullis cuIUs v The whole town says sas the muddy man is up In wool warehouse listening to your make a speech He Is some gravy raVY on deliver delivering deliverIng deliverIng ing himself of audible sounds relating to matters m ana an conclusions says the theman theman theman man manWell Well I hope hell adjourn sine qua non pretty soon says I for trade lan languishes languishes languishes Not a customer did we have that afternoon At 6 two Mexicans brought Andy to the saloon lying across the tho back of a burro We Ve put him to tobed tobed tobed bed while he sUll muttered and gesticulated gesticulated gesticulated with his hands and feet Then I locked lokeel up the cash and went w nt out to see what had happened I met meta a man who told me Inc all about it Andy had made the time finest speech spee h that had ever been heard xin Texas ho said or anywhere else in tho tim world What hat was It about I asked I Temperance says he ho And w when hen henho henI ho got through h every man In Bird City I signed the pledge for a year |