Show III BOBBIES ESSAYS E SA e J By Hr WILLIAM F KIRK NOAH wits was a Ii nise old man wieh wl b lived was the of nOAH n H many manT ago ngo the tho first nt big ship If It it badent been for Noab Noa w a be bo here bore now also II It it been for tor Adam Adam Adana salved our lives the first time Noah oah the 2nd time so BO they are both grate heroes the way wa Noah Noab steed our lw lIv leis s was for tor forlong a along along had been good like this the people rich went to toBee tos long time but they got s see Bee horse hows shows grato greto opry singers kept gitting lower tower tower lower until that thay got Lord sed that thay drink with r Into too much lasted wine 90 40 eo S the he be seu sent SK the rt buta but Grate Noab e i Willi I him to build a 11 ashi a good man so ao the Lord shi taUt talk his hll wife 4 sons S tWO I an ans of ev ry kind such auch as e lady all other animals a g gent a lady tigers started 0 trul us x Noah No of kind bo o 1 ship aU built a grate gratl 4 lady Of bf eh kin to come a gent ship it If cost c st them the they tha got g of on oft Noah away althe al vary much all went Into vary ticket t ha Y the 2 except the twO 2 fleas the ship shill that ma jumped onto the tho dogS back been t ate ever Ini have h had bad been bee d lon long time on After that got tired fired Noab D Dout bah setH sent the water wagon tc roue rue oUt a 4 to calm b back elt sed tha thas at first the but at last he be calm back Is s led sed doing there thare 18 s land ded rho It 1 aggen mountain then the good looks like Uke the water went landed on mountain down here we are h Und lived bad men vetch wl vary r was Willi old a days daYI when men I good In n the killed 80 many f wife tharo only tired ot of going g g got nab r that that his histo tune cos 10 tho ay killed dim bim dimi to i nt go i t to bis brat funeral f be M was burled by 1 the m count ways he be wAS eras vary ary fanny tunny be used sumi sum barber wick was w shaving o oft hU hUteL bl nhi to teL tell the rd Well I had bad a wIse Ise time last l town I blue beard beard wife euw went wenten to o dinner down town me my Z went int to see nee a show then we S h en we k my wife was was taken off orr end sud sudi ludden went beam hoam ep are burning horning with unshed i den like mY ere of j I lve lie me a hot towel give wife t ter Blue bad was a aone milliner one he killed tier ber with d 8 d hat t pin ice au t a actress 91 she a got g Ii e be before was other could conTi kill kili bee bel another a then huly he tie fore he killed d her ber with an axe when reporter her st In morning reeding was she was One other wife wl pr h he was wasn paper society secrets ladY re e made her stay dressed n for rt hours bour she died with her corset c on this wicked man kept on doing tell evil every time he bet on the wrong wr horse bow he be killed 11 wife In n this way tharo thare were many a pay he f d In his hii hi hou e no o at tf t he lied wick wl h Is s the end of all bad bid THE TIE FUTURE the future Is the time hat bas ha not yet been such Buch as s 2 two years from now etc tc I 1 like the future better than the pa past t beo hen kaus lots of nise nille things ga Is going g to happen in the future such a all as 1 the Subway is la going to run all aU the time 2 everybody will have lots low of f mUDDY munny 3 the Subway will keep on running i wish If I could look Into the future until unU nest net Tuesday the 23 2 ns Is I Xmas day tc find out bow how many presents I lam am g going to t sit many but b b ally ill all 1 I rant want trant to look Jook Into Int the future for tor moist of the live Uve In big titles cities like New York Y rk are and to take a Ii long look abed the first grate man to look into the future was las Mister Napoleon he be looked at the stars sed Well I declare I am nm going goins tobe to tobe tobe be a General march across the of I History followed by my brats sobers wl h will git 13 10 dollers a month I Ithe I the next nest man was Henry the he be sed ed it 1 4 Well what do you think of that 1 I am nm 50 go Ing lug to have bave 6 8 or 7 six sir III x or seven wives 1 turn out the lites it Is all aU a horrid dream dr m t But he lie had them Jest the salm saim wish I brought his bis gray ray hairs la In sorrow sort w to the Justice of Df the th lee e NEW YEAR Is Js the day we begin all allover allover allover over again to do the satin salm things we did In the tho old also to have the same things done to us usMe usMe usMe Me Ma la i Va la watched the oM old out together had bad a long Ions lon talk between Pa Fa FaMa PaMa Ma 1111 about what hud ehud be done during daring the New ew cw Peer One thing sed Bed Pa Ill with we must do is isto Isto Isto to go lite rte on the tho butcher bills bUls dinners down town I A other thing thins we must do sed Ma lIn Is Ie to togo togo go 0 very Ute lite on cigars cl ars poker parties atthe at atthe at atI the dub club clU b visits wl b you have with the th thebo I boys bo s I think we ebud cut them out sed sed Ma ala la Perhaps we w had 1 sed s d Fa Pa Pal but did you ever stop td think that it the only comfert I I 1 allow myself is cigars poker parties etc ot otI I Thare you go set sed sei Sfa jia For half halt the munny you Spend for calling Salting bet better better ter tet hands at lit the dull I 1 buy myself ever so many maDY tickets tl gloves giotes I gowns i Gloves Gowns sed Ta Pa Gloves 4 Gowns I that tha t Is 16 all I beer heer I IThen I Then they talked tull quite a Uttel back forth but when the clock struck twelve 12 Ma Pa Ia was hands they kissed other sed sad Happy New hew ew leer I then I went to sleep I will wUl now cloas this pee e with wish lug ing In you yon all nil the salm lalm Da tin The Dictionary Diction ry of Misinformation Mis nf ft I WEX JONES NES I The fruit for which man wan mankind mankind APPLE A kind exchanged Eden au the only unit fruit that could have bays made the exchange fair Pippin l A witty variety of ot apple Of or Applejack The df cSt the orchard and Ud the inspiration of New Jersey letHi AFRICA A continent contin nt Lull full of ot jungles j and wild wn animals but bat singularly Ii free tr from race raco riots I ANECDOTE A pointless story about bout a prominent man I How heir do you feel t 1 now the tha great physician asked wed President nt Roosevelt ev lt getter Better noir n w bu I t had bad a lad bad Gd aver oU for foe a while answered the th patient Will Wilt YOU accept the Presidential Pr chair asked the th reporter I t I Do you I t could fill it asked I s cd Secretary Taft Collected Anecdotes I j i COINCIDENCE Anything tb that hat t a t happen right For instance its merely a coincidence that a II mans wife happens to meet him outside of a 1 saloon every time she comes downtown Also its merely a 1 coincidence that thai the ferry Ihas I has baa just gong gone whenever youre in a hurry I to catch it EGdA EddA A hens hena visiting card CardI HIPPOPOTAMUS I USA A tall tali slender animal i which hangs bangs upside down from front the boughs of trees Its Ita lIon song is peculiarly UI fal sad and sweet i LETTER A means me means na of telling t a 11 Ho Ito without blushing I NEVADA Where the prizefighters go i RESOLUTION A hardy annual which blooms bl om on January 1 and is usually 1 i 1 before teore January Jannary 8 a I No N moro more smoking more drinking I Plainest t And highest best thinking I NO o more Eiore nights of ot It ItHome itHome Home at t seven Ill tU be all nil ready re To ro step st p to heaven No more squabbles With the thu wife i All Alt this year What ft It blameless sl life loil of John J lm i WEATHER Something u dont t know boW la is there th t when its good and con condemn condemn vigorously when Its bad |