Show Cb modern the LOlu J wn on th Subi t of B bies Once there was a Mean lean Man who be became came Weary of having Young 1 ung Parents brag about their Offspring He Hc knew that each Couple thought that its own particular Cherub was the Pre Precocious one that ever occurred d and had every other ther Young One beaten aft act least d Block But he did not care to hear all aU about it so 0 he delved into the I Libraries and read all aU the known subject of Babies and Works on the when he had finished he was Loaded I and Primed for f nany any Cocky Young Par Parent ParL ent L I When a grinning and enthusiastic t Papa tackled him in the Street and took up Ins his Time with a Story of how little Robbie only Seven Months Old could say Moo Moon like a Cow then this Ornery Onery Cynic C ic would pull out his little Book and cite the Case of a Child in Mass who rho at ot the age of Five Lynn bat bathis bathis Weeks could Imitate a Cow and asked when intelligently his Eyes E es Dada Wheres Horsey and say whenever the Male MaJe Parent came into the Room He showed a little Table of Statistics indicating that the Average the Moo at which Infants begin Age I hat is about Five Months so 50 Specialty Robbie was really somewhat Back Backward Backward advise to ward and some one ought him to Smoke Us U One Day a Mother cornered him and exhibited her first t and only Izzy Tizzy ann and asked him If he had ever seen a aChild Child ehUd of that Age with a H full Head of Hall Hair If he had bad been the or ordinary ordInary polite Hypocrite he would have expressed Amazement and Delight at atthe atthe the Growth but he was a Moral Mora Hero Eero with a Mission to perform so he let lether lether her know about a Baby in MIchigan its hair braided in I that had to have ba ve three long Queues Qu Ues at the age of Three Weeks After Aftel that the Mother never I spoke to him bim again He could prove by Huxley that the tho Grunting Sounds and the Facial Grim Grimaces Grimaces aces were not indications of an marly Intelligence bestirring itself but were caused by Wind Vind on the Tummy In Company one Evening a 8 beaming Papa and Mamma were ere handing a I small one around from one Guest to another and listening to the I Heartfelt Declarations of Rapture R They called the Mean Mans attention j to the Fact that the Darling was will willing willing ing to go to any Stranger and asked him if he did not consider it Unprecedented Unprecedented dented By y way Jf f Reply he brought out some Notes from Scientific Works proving that a Small Child ChUd always shows a Discriminating Affection and Distrust for Unfamiliar Faces unless its Faculties are Stunted He sid said the theR R Records Cords would Show how that a Child who Hie He Was Weary of Having Young People reo pIe Brag About Their Off Offspring spring pring to Caner Caller usually de develops develops wll warm up any uy into an Easy Euy Mary for Life In Insurance Insurance Agents and Confidence Men len lenEe He Ee knew juit when the first Tooth ought to be through the Gum and what w t Age a Tot should manage to Stand by holding onto a Chair and how soon it ought to begin to speak Pieces and sing Little in the Tree It gave him Cruel Joy to prove to Parents that one Baby was about the theas same as another and that all the Star Performances Performances of little Pe bad been duplicated at least a Minion runton Times in other Nurseries By Sy following these Tac Tactics ties tics he be protected the General Public from a Common Variety of Bore but when the Mothers got together of an never received an Invitation to Dinner Afternoon he was read out of Decent MORAL Pretend to be Interested Society and the time came when he be and Pleased |