Show IJ the J m modern OU III H t Table rU 1 lit of te 16 Peoples n choke J of Who Duty and took k Seltzer Call B T GEORGE AiDE ADS f 4 i uron a time tIlDe the tile 51 t Party 3 decided dt that the tile eft i i not be alerted so thy they de deK der the Better Element K r i 1 I l MI 1 an airtight Cinch the th L LI I The Garden Seed Man Mn would II have gone to the th the Fine Work Vork i i suet t had hadT Justi Just t U l i ik and which had a Cast east i h from te In neatly nearly eves Front Yard YU faa 1 a slight Concession C to Art there I lived a Nice Man Xu who was to lot the te Ger Gar GerI leu Seed ed Business Be lie said aid Whom and Iad wore ore Nose No e Glasses 0 and aDd be he was waa I Lost LoR it U he be did not have bave an Umbrella under his Arm Ann He never had bad dallied deified 1 with the political although i he be had Convictions on Oft the National jesus Issue and had bad written one or two Open Letter Leen on Municipal Ownership signed Justitia By some Chance the Bosses Bo ea singled out the Garden larden Seed Man as II the Vic Vie Victim Urn tim for the Off Ott Year Yr y Sacrifice They Thel did not like to see ee a Good Fellow stand in the Breach and take the Gaff right in t the ie WishBone If any anyone one had hail to tobe I I be handled with Hooks they preferred that it Jt should be some upright Out Outsider eider sider who wore ore Congress Gaiters and I Yarn Yam Wristlets The Nice Nire Man Ian who dealt in ia Leeks and Early Peas seemed to t meet all the Requirements He was I Idue I I due to get pt the Double Cross rose on Gen General t teral eral Principles In speaking of him J m they called him The Stiff When they talked it over in a Wine Room at the rear of the Pugs Olympus It U was as reported that the Garden Seed Man was wu wU suspected d of being belne a Lily White who bo seldom stood ocl by ity the Straight Ticket that he be carried a little littleSack Sack of Peppermint Lozenges and that he be never nevel had been known to call Any Anybody Anybody Anybody I body by his First Name So they took tooka a Vote to see lie if jf he should be br Butchered to make a Municipal Holiday and Ad a aLow aLow t Low Growl of Approved Approval ran nut around the tile Table I Two Committeemen who woo carried an overweight of Jowl Jow 1 and v vore ore Cameos Cameo a little smaller malle r than tha n the went up to the tile Garden Gante Seed oed Office Oce 0 Ice and told the Nice Man Mall that the People all allover allover allover over Town Towa were side ck vita Anxiety to know would be he be their the tr test Next City Cleric Clash If he Had stopped to Count U he be weald have known that not more than twentythree Persons Persona had ever heard head hea rd of him hint But you can always ways convince a Nice Man that he is Prominent and if Jt the Ointment is properly applied and andru rubbed ru ed In so 80 as II to get all through the System SyRe he will Wilt think he be is real Popular Popular lar laz too The Committeemen had worked the little Ball n in and pel nd out of the English En lish Walnuts before to Politics Polities and an anthey they could sit down beside a trusting unsophisticated un Unitarian with an OpenWork Mind and convince him him that Red was wa yellow Tello By the he time they were ere through Pumping Dumping it into him he ho h w WaS s sure that if he did not accept a pt the Nomination the Lights Lichts would burn Low Lox alt all over the City and the Little Ch I n would moan In their Trundle Beds So he lIe put on the Corrugated Brow and tried to look like Caesar at the and said he would have to Knock KnO k Under to tf the Universal Demand The Committee Committeemen men said they would need a little lillie Money right away to get out some Printing They did not say av what kind of Printing but they relieved him of enough to issue 1 a Public Library His Ria Wife and h her r Sister r and the Man who took care eare of the Furnace and his other Friends heard beard what he was waa up to They tried tri to get a firm Hand HandHold HandHold HandHold Hold on his hw CoatTails and pull pun him hEra out of Danger but he knew better letter He said the Populace was Calling for him No one Ofte else heard the Call It must have hae come e me over a Private Wire Ire IreThe The Man who 00 takes the Bit in his jg Teeth and aDd starts out to try the entire Degrees De of can canI I I always alway find plenty of Good G od Excuses He said the Campaign would advertise the te Garden Gamen Seeds and bring him into Touch with his FellowMan Later on he be got t into many a Touch It was now how the Voters rallied to hire him He Be was swamped with tb 1 r t mn a i i I The Two Pledges of Support When he be was ws 8 Nom Wont Nominated NomInated he be thought he had a Chance A Week W k Inter litter he began to make ma e a List t toC of oC the Plums to be distributed Three Days DaYA before Election it had all J the EarMarks of a Landslide l ide It w ws a iy iya y ya a Question of Majorities H iI had th Job nailed on n on four and an anthen anthen then clinched th it Was All 44 Over except a few faint Cries of Fraud and then hemni Sworn In He was wa out oat every Night with a lot of I Bag Punchers and Mayhem Specialists who showed him how to convert his Ready Money into Popularity He lie was not a so he Had J ad to te take Seltzer at every Stop He would come Home all Carbonated worse than a Soda Fountain and with his Portets Poc full fun of pale Cigars that his Wife ife had to remove from his Clothes with a pair of Tweezers Sometimes he wondered if the Other Fellow lellow would get any Votes Vot at all The Th whole Body of Registered Re red Voters seemed to be falling over each other in their Mad Rush to get into Line tot for him Entire Families were Mere w re flopping to his Support and working for him i stronger than an aji Ox So he was told Two Men who sold him Tickets to the Piano Movers Ball Ban reported that thy they had organized a Marching Club of 1 1500 in the Fourth Ward Vard Incidentally they Pulled his Leg for a Bass BaM Drum Then n to even up uJ so that he would not run with a Flat Wheel heel they stretched the theether theether theether ether Leg Ie for a Flag to carry at the Head of af the Line Every other Ward Yard was organised organ In Inthe Inthe the same Way Wy The CamP ag Q Oem m gave gate i 1 to him bUn Raw two or three times a Week They get him lila In Into Int to t a Back B Room Reran at Headquarters and pull down the Blind and plug Cotton in the Key Holes and Talk to him hint in a aSta Stage Sta Whisper What they had to say could coul have been talked through a 8 Meg Megaphone Megaphone Megaphone aphone at the Street Corner without any Harm being bein done but all this Hush Hushu Business u iness arid ami the he Subdued Sub Qed Tones are a apart apart part of Ute Game Besides it was bet bette better bett ter t te r to have bave him hini in the Back Ba k Room so they could help him to count his Money Maney and work wark the Short Change Racket without any Fear of Police Interference ence Once Onee or twice he Bucked a II little and said that inasmuch ina as St per cent of the Voters Vaters had Declared ared for him he did not see the Necessity of Coughing so frequently They The said aid It was for mote more mo re rePrinting I Printing He never saw a w the Printing but they rubbed his hia Shoulders for him and assured him it was AH AU Right What be he spent on the Jacks and BU lies and their Accomplices would have I got him the new Surrey SUrre and repainted the House and put a new L on the t Kitchen for the Girls Room and paid for all the Works of E P Roe and T F Tb TS S b Arthur which be lie was very anxious to add to his Library I I As he be saw his bis Balance melt he was I cheered up by the Knowledge that he I would get it back haek ba k several times over I in Salary and Fees and probably be beable beable beable able to turn a few Frisks on an the Side Just before Election EJe everybody runs run runaround around in a Circle and kicks up so 80 mu much h Dust that no one but a Clairvoyant ant can ean size st e up the Situation On Evon th the Garden Seed I Man who had h d kept his Finger Fin r on the Public Pulse could not accurately estimate t his Majorities but buthe buthe buthe he had a little Table that he bad had made ma maith with ith a Fountain Pen and a Ruler and it showed that be e was wae merely a few ft w wV Votes V ot shy of the Unanimous He was expecting that some ome one would get up and Move to make Jake him City Clerk by Acclamation The Ballots Bano were counted end and the Garden Seed Man carried one aRe Precinct in inthe the Second Ward and two in the Seventh The Legless Man Mait with the Ringling Show could have Run as well At 11 on Election EJection Night he sat at Headquarters whence all but him had bad lied fled and tried to figure out that it would require the Official l Count C to de do i icide icide cide cEde They had haA to lead him blur Home He did not want to face f his Wife The TheOther TheOther Other Man tan was wu 1700 17 ahead and still j Running I Instead In ad of or taking It as s a Joke the seine same as Other People td Id he got Sore on Ort 01 Humanity In General Gener l and joined a He never bought the new DeW Surrey or put the J r on the Kitchen Third Party that W was Opposed 0 to anything any anything anything thing you could mention l Jl 4 a Cc A Mayhem Specialist Specia ty until the Goods are Delivered MORAL Don t Bank on a Certain Copyright 1900 by Robert Howard RusselL |