Show Deportment for Dukes A A A u ENT NT for Dukes is J D 1 the title of a very curious rious work w rk that comes from London L The jOint authors say they have been be n pressed w with ith that fact that most moston moston s son on etiquette are written for the themon mon herd and that there Is a distinct lack of anything of this character de designed designed designed signed particularly for dukes and the highest circles of society Yet they must be in need of instruction almost as much as humbler persons as a is shown by the fact that the nobleman nobl man who had charge of Queen Victorias crown at her coronation forgot the right moment at which to hand it up The want of literature say the authors appealing only to those moving movIng ing lag in the highest social circles and practically incomprehensible in to such as have not enjoyed the same advantages of birth fortune and cellars has long Jong been regretted by the families of the aristocracy their chaplains and ser servants servants servants To supply it the authors respectfully bog beg b g to offer this treatise Its ethics are adapted dalt d alike ali e to o the throne hrone room the anti ana rs pantry its style has hu been carefully moul ed On b the best traditions of these apartments The Te T e following hints are furnished to those who accept a dine and sleep Invitation from the queen en at t Windsor castle Write both the V and the R n In cap ital hal letters with a full stop after each Avoid anything even distantly ap approaching approaching p to a risque allusion or a ref reference refe reference e nce to a contemporary sovereign Be careful to convey the impression that you have had some difficulty in extricating yourself from a previous engagement t tA Avoid void A whenever possible answer answering ing Irig on a post card Inquire particularly whether you OU are expected exp to dress Disregard all unstamped stamped un and anI un unsigned unsigned unsigned signed invitations to a country house Give the preference to a week at Margate with a royal duke duk before two wo months deerstalking with a colonial bisho bishop Should Sh uld however your prospective host have in addition to his ecclesias ecclesiastical ecclesiastical dignities a humane certificate certificate or an only daughter defer your visit to his royal highness till a more convenient date expressing at the same ame time your regret at the necessary de derangement derangement derangement of his holiday holida plans Invitations written on pink paper all aJl gross grots misspellings of the invitees Christian name etc may be answered in the negative by post card The art of conversation de consists in following the obvious to no conclusion For particular conversations in any circle of society the most entertaining ent subjects are yourself and herself Punctuate by frequent pauses and illustrate rather by example than precept A general conversation in the high highest highest est social strata may touch on politics partridges and impropriety In less ex cx exalted exalted alted but still refined circles on ser servants servants ants sanitation and seaside accommodations accommodations The bourgeois may discuss clergymen and internal complaints com and those in humble bumble stations tripe and trea treason treason son sos w For practical purposes s there are two parts p of speech the interjection and the thO first personal 1 pronoun To these t ese nay may be added in extremity the note of or orin interrogation in ion The Tho metaphor simile or allegory con consists conSists in stating what might have been said li d otherwise a little differently Th Time The joke jest or quip is emitted when hen you are no longer hungry To perform one of qC these indicate facially that you are about a b t to become humorous and then say something that thatIs Is not strictly true truo about some one smaller than yourself The point is ls a term termon once e applied to toa toa toa a portion of the joke jest st or quip It Itis Itis Itis is now obsolete in good society The repartee Is the reply to the joke jest or quip It is most conveniently administered by restating PS the same sume In Ina ina Ina a modified form orm When addressed by your own name reply Here When addressed by y ome some someone one a mome would convince e you that there was some sume mis mistake tale take As reflection refie however is un unfashionable unfashionable fashionable f it is better to reply Here Herein in this case also Thus begun your talk kiS K is likely tobe to tobe tobe be of at least a average vernee Interests Interest If in the course of our conversa conversation conversation conversation tion the rest of the should happen to quit the ther th r re lm rm silence may maybe maybe maybe be practiced This Is best learned by endeavoring to think before you speak The more involved branches of the theart thear theart art ar of tiling the truth the tongue t ngu p e leg and sailing close to the w w d are re beyond be ond the th scope cope of an elementary treatise tr On a hint from your hostess the de do departure departure from a house party occurs This begins be rewarding the ser servants servants servants who have soaped your sponge blacked your brown boots or otherwise ministered to your comfort and enjoy enjoyment mont ment settling with your host for fo your hushing hashing bill hUb and informing the duke marquis or 9 B stands 1 next nex t to an oil o your list that 1 1 now non pe t tOU you OU We Ve have heard the amount of the reward or tip occasionally discussed The Th rule however is j simple Id a day ir f r the th butler and upper footman a I week during a visit of six months or over for the other and a shilling left under the mat for forthe tho the cook The ladys maid it pretty may be rewarded for her services on a sepa separate separate rate scalp 1 You next fold your our trousers roll roil up the bedroom clock in the soiled and place these in the bottom of your trunk or The rest of your packing may be to your valet or valets If still sun on terms of or sufficient famil familiarity i ri you should then say hy goodby to your OUt hostess To your you may my ac as account count for the suddenness of your de departure departure departure by y explaining that the tole t le lem m gram m from highness was per peremptory peremptory peremptory your supply of hand handkerchiefs handkerchiefs kerchiefs is now exhausted Should they happen to evince regret at your yoni leaving them you should ex ox express express press your intention of giving them the me pleasure of your society at their own mansions man or villas at an early and if possible a specific date The tact fact of your remarking Thank heaven h er or 1 at last when you leave the door may be taken raken to signify the ther r unqualified success of your visit You came to enjoy yourself at his expense and you have done it After Arter departure it is ts your duty dul and should be your pleasure to write to your our hostess informing her of your safe arrival at the next neit ducal ducaj mansion or archiepiscopal palace inclosing the footbath photograph frames or other articles inadvertently packed pack by your your valet or valets and expressing your our regret for or the circumstances that led to the termination t of so pleasant a visit This letter should be brief brier worded carefully so as to remove all apprehensions apprehensions of your our immediate return and may be consigned to the post in the ordinary way fee up to four ounces one penny For Jor the Shoot feu de joie jole there are necessary the quarry the gun and amI the variegated hose The first some sometimes sometimes mo times provided by host the others QU had better botter bring g yourself Previous to firing off ir fowling fowling piece de poulet insert as asman many man cartridges as there happens to tobe tobe tobe be barrels into the end furthest from your destined prey pre pren On hn n sighting the object de tie chasse draw drav dra the trigger smartly towards you On again opening your eyes you will thus find that Uj t your our skill and ardor have sometimes been rewarded by the decrease of the desired animal bete noire After winging legging or otherwise disabling your our quarry qu the coup de degrace degrace degrace grace is administered This is entire entirely t ly an stroke and can be inflicted without unlacing the boot See that your attendants place the spoil if of an edible nature and not entirely dismembered by your attack in the bags which your host will m pro provide O Ovide vide for the purpose Any An possible resuscitation and escape should be guarded against by covering the ani animal animal animal mal with your musket until life liCe is quite extinct Never point your our gun at your fel even ev n in jest without wIt dut previously consulting the wishes of your host and if he desires it with withdrawing withdrawing withdrawing drawing the cartridges In drawing your gun after you through a hedge pond or other hazard lutz haz ard see that the muzzle is directed slightly to one side of you ou This rule may ma seem a refinement of precaution yet at the natural ter termination of your our visit you will have no cause to regret the little extra trouble it has involved Table able of Precedence 1 Heirs apparent and their consorts 2 Heirs less apparent with their 3 Queens In their own right 4 Nabobs and their sultanas 5 Prime ministers music hall hU stars and similar dignitaries with their la ladies ladies ladies dies 6 Six figure incomes income 7 Popes and ambassadors with a of their wives 8 Poets laureate these are invited 9 White ambassadors ors and eloquent dissent with ith whatever they bring brinl 10 Purifying influences we imagine these to be b celibate 11 Gentlemen with evening dress 12 Gentlemen without Inquiries are never made concern concernIng Ing lag the menage of the Uie two last classes clas es |