| Show Mr Dooley on Another Insult to the Japanese I B F P IL e I I said Mr Hennessy If l Japan Is la to war with England over th riots In Vancouver I hope so Dont use such language said Mr Dooley It a riot Theres no such thing as a riot th British flag Th has been assured that no harm was meant be th playful antics Iv a British holiday holi holl holiday hollday day crowd All AU th was made be Americans Americana an up to th to come over an shoot at us usTIs a to me Dye mind th out In San Francisco Insulted th mighty power Iv Nippon be to admit any little Nippers over sixty years Iv age Into th public schools be credit to a sub jick Iv th because he paid his last bill an be sindin back a veal cutlet In a be because because because cause It cooked enough our good accost th sea were much disturbed They see anny other outcome but war No proud like Japan cud submit to havin her sons th Ut way for foreigners foreigners foreigners eigners are always I used to read what th London Times had to say about It an aa I wanted to go out to San Francisco with a club an th rights iv th tit harmless little dark people Our readers says this conservative an organ iv public thought our readers well know our sympathy with th people Iv America in their their fr tr civilization tion Fr manny many years It has remained unbroken they were In Blood Is thin wather Not much but some In spite Iv our ancient we are shocked an horror at th Iv th people Iv San Francisco tord our gallant little dark alleys an much as we deplore It we believe i th time has come fr tr th gov ermint to a fleet th Passy fic an blow th United States off th map which they cud do with wan hand tied behind thim Th United States must lam larn lam their responsibilities an if they cannot Iv California to knives on thim thin th time has come to bombard their cities clues an lay waste their coast It Itla Itis la is to that no such occurrences has hag been anny British colony or be ray ported th British flag flies files human life Ute Is Well sir I was fr me wan thing about us Americans were very proud Iv our but were be her If It happens over here that dont seem just right th I remarks Such a state Iv things be In England fr tr a There are mo moments moments moments ments Im de depressed depressed depressed pressed about this here coun Iv ours Its so Eng England England England land So I about th out outbreak outbreak outbreak break in Vancouver I give a hearty laugh Well Weil says I were not so much worse thin else I won will Japan declare war again Eng England England England land She cud lick us but can she lick at But as Hogan says me triumph was I was In th midst Iv me hilarity I picked Up th pa aper an read an t t th Lon London London London don Times that explained It all aU It was an alsy aisy explanation I I think Iv It Cant Cana ye e guess itOh It ItOh ItOh Oh Well sir th simple explanation explanation explanation nation iv It Is that Americans done it all Yes sir we invaded this here peaceful British hamlet an attacked th iv Great Britain an chased thim through th an thin come home I e to th London Times Shame assailed be colonists unworthy iv th name iv Briton army corps hur to Vancouver to th an raze th city Instead Iv which I Our faithful alleys have been again sub to th most outrages be Americans Not with th flag Iv Nippon in th Chop iv San Fran Francisco Francisco Francisco cisco these have Invaded wan iv his colonies to carry carry on their designs Not havin th facts at hand th story COl In brief is this as we imagine A Afew Afew Afew few thousand nd as well as siv eral Iv his sub subjects subjects subjects Indya who had left that noble an fruitful on account iv th famine landed at Van Vancouver Vancouver Vancouver couver with th idea iv hi up their homes permanently or till they got a little ahead iv th tb game It is needless to say that they were heartily wel welcomed welcomed welcomed be th staunch British tion iv th territory Th colonies are Ivor Iver lile Hie an there is no Briton even in British Columbia that not willingly give up his job to further our foreign policy Th news l 1 th com corn comIn cornin In ln Iv this body Iv Immigrants to en enrich enrich enrich rich th Iv th province was received with mild be th hearty British artisans Th day th boat arrived nearly all th an shops iv th city were shut down th houses were decorated with Chinese and British flags an triumphal triumphal triumphal phal arches were erected in th bearin th mottoes All coons look alike to us and Jow Mow Bonfires were lit be th in th an Chinese stores an there ther were man manny manny manny ny affectionate reunions Iv British sub an Iv th In which two were stabbed an three were shot The fined in th spirit iv th occasion be th cus tomary holiday proclamation to th people to keep off th an be th to remain arms At last th day arrived Th comity was out arly an th break Iv day thousands Iv sons Iv Britain armed with guns pistols crowbars hunks Iv coal couplin pins hatchets hatch ts bricks an sling sUng shots march marched ed down to th docks to greet th visit visitors visitors ors In a 3 manner suited to th delight delightful ful relations Iv two peo people people people But just at th moment all aU seemed finest as th throng Iv rushed forward to embrace th new newcomers neWcomers newcomers comers an pat thim on th back Iv th head with th iv their toll toil an enormous swarm Iv at laste thirty Americans appeared on th scene an attacked our dark brethren with cries iv Kill Kilt thim Knock their cads hoff Eave a arf art a brick at thim an so on Th Britons sturdily turned to th Iv our alleys an to thim be thim into th harbor But th crool Yankees inflamed with were too nu numerous numerous numerous fr th small but indomitable concourse Iv British an ci civilians civilians civilians an all that cud be done fr our visitors was to git thim out Iv harms way be chasin chasm thim three or four miles out Iv th city Thin th citi citizens citizens citizens zens with that rare presence Iv IY mind that is characteristic h Iv th Anglo Saxon alone among nations returned to th city an burned th Chinese quarter quarter quarter ter to th American rowdies Join doin so soTh soTh soTh Th affair has caused in indignation Indignation indignation at Ottawa On hearin th news Sir Wilful Laurier to th mayor Iv Vancouver Shocked an pained be th news Was anny Iv our fellows hurt Cant ye keep kep th boys quiet To which th mayor replied If I ye yO give me anny more Iv jaw Ill ship th whole lot Iv to Ottawa His th govnor iv h Canada has hasta ta taken taken ken a position worthy worthy w Iv th best thra iv his high office On hearin th news he want to his rooms an changed chang d his he emerged he called together th councillors coun Iv h jh th an submitted a despatch fr their approval They approved an late last night up an an down th vast chamber where so many Englishmen have per perished perIShed perished Iv cold an so many Iv fright he dictated th message that has since rung round th Fancy that Other sayings Iv govnor g gln ginI rals rats iv I Canada have passed p ed into his thoo We that ivry British schoolboy Is with rord Nord I say an th Markee Iv Lornes Lomes Wat Vat a But Fancy that is no mere saying it Is more thin thina a watchword It Is England We have no doubt that It will be said that th govnor has exceeded his constitutional powers be this bold dec dee declaration an it I must be admitted that he has gone further than t an anny Iv his predecessors But we believe that th people iv h Canada will agree that th grave nature iv th public emergency demanded bold action That th govnor f received th Jap nese envoy In Iv th Postoffice volunteers in token iv his humility Th TI TIt envoy wore th an always costume Iv th class This closes th In Incident Incident incident so far as Britain is but th prospect is dark fr America Th Insult must be wiped out with blood Latest received Just before tea time Th Americans arre increasing in number at Vancouver A Amob Amob Amob mob Iv at least eighteen thousand Iv thim th leadership Iv two men named Saunders McPherson an art En Ennery Ennel Ennery nery nel have just cut off a Chiny mans pig taU tall Sir Charles Tupper has started fr th front to protect th Later uter Sir Charles Tupper has decided not to go to th front on till th Americans have been phased out Iv Vancouver An there ye are Im bowed In shame share f fr r me n They seem to behave as al bad abroad as at home Not con tint with th tho flag iv our nation they have brought shame on th unspotted banner Iv Great Brit Britain Britain ain am Its up to us to apologize On hearin th news Vancouver th hurried to th White house but th dint seen him com comin in an lit out through a window is in a tur I state st Je Iv mind Me heart says he in a letter to th is wrung with sorrow at th thought iv th outrages committed be me coun at Vancouver Although I received no votes in Vancouver at th last or If It I did they were held out on me I cannot evade th responsibility responsibility responsibility fr th Iv that on happy city I offer sincere apologies an if it ye Yo hear Iv a bein licked lit Iff London Manchester Liver Liverpool Liverpool Liverpool pool or Chipping Norton blame It ft it on onus onus onus us an well beg yere pardon An there ye are Faith I dont know to become Iv us Its a large lare question que Uon iv law la lathat that our finds crost th sea has pre to us As Hogan says does an Englishman who commits an assault an on a Jap become Ipse facto as Hogan says an American citizen It looks to me this as though tho gh all a aO O had to do to vote at wan Iv our is to show a th coort clerk that hes been fined f fr r a I suppose th truth Iv It is that ye Yo cant take a rule an a red line a map an make much between th people on wan side or an another another another other Iv th line If people eople lived on maps be aisy alsy But Sut they dont I want to be a though Us tisa a pleasant they live in I spent a few hours there In Ireland be chasm chasin a letter carryer through a vil village village village lage an I come back to this tills here land Iv th free I was arrest arrested ed an locked up in tn Buffalo But yo pick out a anny other kind iv an American They look like us they use th same samo kind Iv money an they talk almost as asgood asgood asgood good English as we do they dont agree with us but no more does Texas agree with Maine They aint anny rale rate between th American Americans who fought th Japs at San Francisco an th n Americans that fought thim at Van Vancouver Vancouver Vancouver couver They sing Save th KIng but so I If It he gave me rent free an I afraid Id choke sing In It airy aisy to be seen that most iv th who come conio come to this come th part Iv Can Canada Canada Canada ada most like England an when Americans go to Canada they go goto goto goto to th part most like America I why they dont shake off oft th Saxon yoke said Mr Hennessy ye want to shake off th yoke if a night watchman that paid y ys ye something fr his services said Mr Dooley But what are th Japs goin to do It if nobody will lot let thim In What ye do If Ivry time ya yo wint out Iv h dures somebody threw a arock arock rock at ye yo Id stay at home said Mr Hen Hennessy Hennessy Hennessy nessy An that said Mr lIr Dooley may maybe maybe maybe be what th have to do Be th thO looks Iv things I think th time Is s comin twill be bo well fr to stay at home that dont want his head broke Copyright 1907 1901 by H H McClure Si Company |
