Show r Office Boy Chatters About Wireless Imagines Queer Things If Wind Should Blow Messages Maybe I aint overloaded with the right brand of dope but I imagine this wireless telegraphy business will win be some fun said the Office Boy Why asked the reporter briefly Well VeIl you see messages are sent across the hills and far away without any wires aint they Yep answered ans vered the time reporter where the fun comes In InThe InThe inThe The Office Boy laughed long and heartily The reporter waited patient patiently ly until the outburst had subsided then asked mildly What fun Why you booby of the den cant you see what is goin to happen I see they are goin to build a station in Salt Lake Wireless tele telegrams telegrams telegrams grams will be sent all aU over the coun country country country try from his city of too many wives and bill boards No wires to carry the time words the best ever Gee GeeSa Say Sa supposing you want ant to send a telegram to your wife ife in San Francis Frnncis Francisco co You aint married Well sup supposing supposing supposing posing you want w ant to send one to some someone someone someone one wife ife You get your words off all right They are aimed true etc But when they reach Nevada wl ing windstorm comes conies up Gee that message will be blown down into nto Mex Mexico Mexico ico and strike some squaw Whoopee why I am laughing Words Nords Running at Large No wires wiles Why there will be words roaming all over the country lookin for a place to stop There wont be beany bean beany any an wires to ride on A word will go bO until it gets tired then it will have havo to rest lest wont ent it And if its something about grain grail the birds will eat cat it be before before before fore it gets started again There will willbe ill be ads in The Herald reading like this Lost Between Salt Lake and the Pa Pacific Pacific Pacific coast a telegram Was Vas caught in a snowstorm probably in Nevada Person digging same out of I snowdrift ani returning to C J 3 Eng English English English lish this city eity will receive a tie pass to Murray Murry How are they going to keep things straight Supposing you are going to toI I telegraph for money to the pater You I send scud it off but on the time way ay it bumps I up against a building in one of the I towns and youre going to starve to death waiting for an answer Sup Supposing Supposing Supposing posing your daddy gets the message and ind sends the thc money Some Johnny Johnnys is s going to climb a tree and stop it ba b fore it gets across the state line Then youre going to starve to death just the same But sonny Danger From Lightning Lightn ng Supposing a message passes through a storm on its way Maybe a streak of will hit it in the middle and your fellow on the other end is only onI going to get half of that message Wont he be DO hot when he gets something like this some day Dear Arnold am air sending you this wireless to let you OU know ajl l about the latest scandal sc in Salt Lake Every Everybody Everybody Everybody body is talking about it so thought it would not be right to let you remain in ignorance of the matter Yo see That dash marks macks the spot Slot where the thing was hit by a loose bolt from the heavens Yes but bub bubNo bubNo bubNo No wires Ha Supposing you want to tell Bill what a scoundrel Bob Bobis is You send your message m sage to Bing Bingham Bingham Bingham ham because where Bill and Bob draw money for fOt picking at ore Bill lives across the street from Bob Your message runs against a telephone i pole and falls in Bobs front yard He finds it and say youre going to take a sudden trip closely followed by a aman aman aman man carrying a shotgun You see a respectable message now days goes riding along on a wire When it gets to to its place its stopped and held until the right man comes conies in inand inand Inand and pays on it That is all messages you send ars ar C O 0 D arent they I heard once that you ou sent a n telegram asking for money and had hadit it charged too at the other end Why when they ther get wireless messages going small smaIl boys wont won go hunting any longer They will climb the trees to find messages tangled up in Itt the limbs They will have a circus play playing playing ing jug hookey from school and reading all about the news about China and Kansas and other places The boy up the tree will know going on before the man in town Supposing someone telegraphs in to the principal of the schools during va ya vacation a cation to open school two weeks earl earlier earlier ier Some kid will find that message hanging hangi g from a bush and it will wil be off with the message He will read rend it to the other fellows they will hold a funeral and bury it beneath two feet of dirt and twenty cobble stones Then they will ClOSS cross their hearts and swear never to peach t You dont dout Craves Not Knowledge or II I dont dont Well VeIl you go on with that because e I dont want to know A little knowledge is s a danger dangerous dangerous ous tHing and a lot of it is fatal This wireless telegraphy scheme looks to tome tome tome me like Inte some queer doings How are aie I Ithe they the going to shoot a message from frum one station to the other What Vh t if they send one and it ducks to one side Why the blamed thing may miss the station in the other town a block and hike on down the street un until until til tn it hits a policeman on the corner and wakes wak s him hm up Then thore there will be trouble the Irish awaken look lookout lookout lookout out No wires vires Gee the most I ever eyer got next to What a Latin word from the French Fren h What does It t mean Why er dont you know what it means Gee Aint you ashamed of your ig ignorance ignorance norance noran e It means well why I use it because this wireless Shut up about the a word Maggie uses I took Tier fler to see sec a balloon execution exhibition Oh very well and she t skid aid it was was Sure it means up in the air Well Vell what I 1 think about wireless telegraphy I think its most mostly mostly mostly ly less hess Maybe there ther will be one thing about it that will be good You see a aman aman aman man can carry a small folding water waterproof waterproof waterproof proof station around in his vest est pock pocket et and when he gets lost he lie can rip off offa a short message to his friends and tell them what he wants wante for breakfast You see ee that would be quite handy for a man who is lost in the hills and dont know where the next meal or beat bear will show up But Im from Utah and Ive got to have it told to me mc m in syllables sylla les be before before before fore I will vote ote for it at the next elec dee election election deetion tion The Office Boy looked at the report reporter er ci The reporter was asleep |