Show MARK TWAIN GIVES MR DOOLEY A LESSON Last Lt night night at a dinner party part where I 1 Iwas Iwas was wac present Mr r Peter Dunne Dooley handed to the host several dollars In satisfaction of or a lost bet writes Mark Twain In his autobiography in North American Review I 1 seemed to see se an opportunity to better beter my condition and andI I 1 invited I fe Dooley Doole apparently disinterest disinterestedly disinterestedly disinterestedly edly to come to my house hous Friday and play pIa billiards He accepted and I judge that there is ig going to be b a n deficit in inthe inthe inthe the Dooley Doley treasury as a result In great geat qualities of the heart hert and brain brin Dooley is gifted beyond all aU propriety He HE is brilliant he ht is an expert with lh his pen pon and he easily stands at the head hed of ot otal all al the satirists of this generation but buthe he is going to walk In darkness Friday afternoon It I will wf be a fraternal kind kindness ness floss nes to leach teah leh him that with wih all aU his light and awl he h does doe not know all al the valuable things and it will wi also all be b a fraternal kindness to him to complete his Ms education for tor him and I shall do this on Friday Fria and antI send In him home In that J r t condition I possess noes a R billiard l secret x ret which can cn be hf valuable to the Dooley sept ept after I have hae conferred cn lh ere It upon Dooley Doole for a consideration It I Is a discovery which I made by b accident years rears ago In my I house housein in Elmira Thoro Thre Th was a scarred and battered and an ancient billiard table in inthe Inthe the til garret ml along with wih it I a peek peck k of checked ch kel and hipped hells balls and a d rack rc ful of crooked kt d and uni headless hadle Idle cues OuS I played e up there every day da with that difficult The TIl table was wat not level but d sharply sharp to the south southeast east elft th thre re a ball bali bl that was round or woud complete the th journey jurne you it ii I on en but would always get tired and an stop slop half hal way May and an settle with a I jolty jetty jol abble to a standstill on its ks I tried making counts with ith four Mils halls ls hut hilt found It difficult and ani dis dl so 8 I added a fifth ball bl then a sixth then tl n a seventh and kept kepton kt pt on m adding until at last lest I had twelve tw It balls on n ii the table and a thirteenth to topI ply pI with Mv b Ime game cm me was caroms ca caroms roms moms caroms plain or caverns caroms with cushion to help anything thing that could furnish fr h a I count In the course cur of time I found to my 1 astonishment that I Iw Iwas Iwas w was as never neer able abl to run fifteen under uner any an circumstances By huddling the balls bals now and ant am then coax fourteen out of them now and then coax cx fourteen out of them but I reach rech fifteen by either luck Juck or r kl Sometimes the balls would get scattered into difficult positions and defeat dete t me in that way wa sometimes if i I 1 managed manage to keep kep them together I 1 would fre freeze ze and always when I froze and had li to play away 88 fr from m the contact there was sure sur sur to be bc nothing to play pia at but a wide and an un uninhabited Uninhabited inhabited vacancy The One ne day Mr Ir Dal Dalon Dalton ton called on my mr broth on a matter of busi business business and I 1 asked if I could ness ns was aske enter entertain tain tam him awhile until my 1 law should finish an m r engagement with another gentleman I said paid k I and took him up to th the billiard table I f had played with wih him many times at atthe atthe atthe the club cl 1 and Ind w that he h could couk play pi billiards tolerably to well only tolerably well but not any an better than I could He and an I were wP just a match He dint know our fr table he lie know those the bells ls he lie know those warped warp and headless cues cue he know the southeastern rn slant plant of the tabie tabi and how to allow for Cor it it I f judged jd e It would be safe and profitable to offer him a abet abet abet bet on my scheme here I J emptied the ava avalanche avalanche lanche hanche of thirteen balls bails bals on the table and said Sid Take a ball bali bal and ami l begin ben Mr fr Dalton How many man can en you run with an out outlay ot otla outhay lay hay la like that He sid said with the air of a mathematician who wh has been ben asked how much of the th multiplication table he be can n recite rele without a I break brek I 1 suppose a million any anyway anyway way wa waI I said sid You shall have the privilege of placing the balls to suit yourself and I 1 want to bet you ou a dollar that tt you OU cart eart crt run fifteen I will Ti not nt dwell upon the sequel At Atthe Atthe Atthe the end of an hour his face was red re and ami an wet with perspiration his hig outer garments lay A ay scattered here and ad there over oer the place he was ws the angriest angrest man mn in the state and there ant a arg rag rg or remnant of an injurious In adjective ive ire left Ift in him anywhere ami I had all al his small change hange I am very er fond of Mr Ir Dooley Dole and shall await his coming oming with affection affectionate ate at and pecuniary interest P S Saturday He has been here here Let us l not talk about it i |