Show Jt Old 0 Id Stories Sp tArl ri e s Revised R I d I B G org 4 HE R STORY MAUD MULLER MULL f R Copyright ht 1906 by George Ade t the story stoy or of Maud Muller was a Corker tork r in n its Us day dayi It Is now what President Eliot of ot would wo calla a 4 I Lime If t Jt k were larger it would be called a Lemon on Borne forty summers ago every senti senU sentimental mental Sarah in the whole country kept In her room a containing the I veres Maud in the hayfield and 4 the tiding riding r by on his chestnut horse It wan wa a 0 simple yarn but sadly et withal When a Bella BelIo of If f the retired to her br little mHo Boudoir with the tho cardboard card board lioard Mottoes ott es the kerosene lamp and the hand worked Shams she sho always had to rad about Maud and her hard Fin Finish ish lIh before aha Ih h could sink back into the p First che would remove the lIt too tb Hat lf t that usually had one rooster leather feather Uter In It and was worn tilted over the Iho right eye ee eeThen Then nho ho would loosen un up U tho Net the Chignon non and the tho Waterfall and tind nil carefully put away the Cameo Brooch I pound Then she sha would take oft off tha tho queer Gaiters that had Elastics on the tho side Also Aiso IO the Bead Bracelets Brelet Bra Sho She would back bacle out of ot th Velvet I Basque and climb over oer the Hoops and divest livest herself of various Garments made mad famous by Ladys Magazine I t after winch which she he woula woul bo be b ready for her I evening dose tiosa dO I of or Maud laud Muller 4 If in war tima Belle made up in the freak costume that was sas as in vogue when Pa 1 a and Ma 1110 wore were young should houll walk along nong Alimony Alley Ally in the Waldorf I s F Fi i t tAr Ar 1 4 f UJ j r Aci w ww w t r rI I ii i 1 hII t iI t oj J i r MN I i I A Sweeter A ft Draught from Fairer Hand Was Never Quaffed Q i I T r Astoria thy th would sick the tho Detective on her herAnd herAnd herAnd And by the tho same rule wh n you try to hand a Maud Muller poem to Ma lIu Mabelle Mabelle belle 1 of oe the class of 07 who has a 0 Trask R cord of ot 16 she s e simply chirps a couple of or times and says I ten plus lus three for you JOU and beat the barrier Tha Th Maud d Muller kind kin of If Poem has bas gone Jone into the tho Discard with the Molo leon dean the hc and the Kissing Game What the Fly public wants nowadays is Plo and und Something g D ing L What hat Is there in the whole Maud Mul Muller Muller ler er business when you como come to sift it i right down and analyze it according i to the tho methods of ot Modern Criticism It seems that Maud Muller was vas out out in inthe i ithe I Ithe the field trying to be a full hand and save her father some money We find accurate pictures of ot her he In the old Gift j t Book BooI SilO Sho was as barefooted and her herF F hair was lot let out to dry Evidently sho sh i had iad been washing it She had a round roundy ny y face Cace and the fine large Irge bella belia Ionna nna onna eyes of ot the tho Anna Hold Held variety varlet She sang PS as she worked until she I happened to glance lano at the he aroff town tonn t when she sho experience a vague longing i ito to discontinue manual labor and nove 1100 Into the city cit This same symptom prevailing to the present day daJ accounts 1 far fr the tho large supply tp l of Manicures At this point the Judge comes by b on Ha Ho is supposed to be a very ery I Irh rih rh man mars At the time the poem was written judges ju were getting us lS s high as lU tv twelve elve hundred dollars a year rear and tin the theA A finery Immediately Immediate suggests Itself to the reader of ot the present day did he some Fide line of or graft grU At any an rate te he ho was rich therefore disreputable He pulled pull up in the shade of the old apple tree and asked tile girl to bring him a drink of old cold water It might occur to come gome o e that a strong husky man who had been be n riding all aU would go and ond get got a drink for tor himself Instead of asking Tome rome poor working girl to todo todo tOdo do it for him hini The rile story has it J that she filled the cup from the spring and brought it to him and as she took tool It she blushed for br forshe forshe she realized realize that she was as not riot rigged out receive to swell company The Judge thanked her and 2nd remarked that a sweeter ter draught from a 8 fairer hand was ira never quaffed il This was going some soine right off of the reel Ho went on to talk about the flowers and the birds and the bees b s and finally got around to the weather A Aman Aman Aman man dealing In this line of conversation could stay in the game came for tor any uny Ull great length of time at the present day dat da dahut but hut nevertheless s it seems that the Judge made ma e a tenstrike with Maud ud After Arter he lie rode away she Rhew watched him and said to herself as aR nearly nearl as her can be Je e translated into the sweet Vernacular of the twentieth cen century tury Oh If I 1 could c only land some man like that Our family would certainly certai certainly tai lY put a crimp In his Bank Ac Account Account Account count He could buy all fathers clothes s and jend end money to brother and nd pay mothers traveling expenses s sIt It was wag evident that Maud really loved I the Judge As for the Judge he looked back from froma fromI I a hilt hill and saw her still soldiering and gazing at him and said She looks all allright allrIght allright right to me If I 1 could coul get some girl like that me for a quiet place In the theco country co nty But I dont think that my family would stand for her i r I I r y ye yr 1 t tI e r I r rt tel J to i t r rI I I ll I 4 r a 4 c t I I J JI Jc JI c I I I I 1 1 q S c I I 1 1 i 4 t J Q C h ht L 0 Et EtA A t lEo 0 1 fr frh 0 h I This Incident Is to Give the Artist Artist an an Opening I So tha th Judge J e rode on into town and an tack to the Court House while Maud stood around thinking of him until she was caught in the rain He lie married a rich wife who traveled the and often at night when hen he was waiting for her to h me he would gaze into the fire and ud wish irish that he lIe could get out of it without having his picture in the pa papers papers pers Ders Sometimes he Je wondered why lIe he played a few return dates with the good looker that brought rought him the wa watter Water ter er I ji i b bAs O OAs As for Maud she married a poorman poor man but what the couple cotil lacked in Furni Furniture Furz ture they made up iii Very often orten sit around dur during durIng ing lag the Ion long lonesome evenings with nothing to do but read the agricultural papers r try to imagine what might have been if she had made a little Stronger play pIa for the judge I l U UJ I nIM J d 1 I 1 F I II I S te E I EI p 0 p i In the Revised Version Verion the Court Sets Her Free Free That is the th end of or the story There is nothing more to it iL IL Suppose that somo some Whittier of today should write this kind of ot a story and send it to th tile the editor of a a brisk bisk little magazines that thet guarantees e you many a at t Would the wise i man in charge tingle for 01 yur ur piece of the who knows just wha w the public is looking pt uny my sach childish and point pointless pointless less as this Not on your circulation He would r turn the Ms tto to the a few fet e changes chi in uJ l mt n td glye the theArtist Artist at some e Cracking good Pictures By the time he got through doctoring up the Romance H mance It would w uld runabout about as follows MauIe e as a type of the Progressive siv Ner N v Woman oma is in the thc hay hayfield hayfield hayfield field directing the operations of lof a large gang ang of workmen when wl n tho tiie Judge conies comes by in a 60 GO h Ii p motor car carThe carThe The Judg has immensely wealthy while acting as a 3 tool of the Corporate Interests that are arc slowly but surely sucking the life io blood cf cr the Re The e is the embodiment of the pernicious whatever that is Inasmuch ashe aslie as he Is exceeding the tho speed limit Mide ll ude when she sees him coming goes into her colonial cottage that cost a half million and gets a shotgun and as he be comes by she shoots him in the knee i The purpose of intro introducing introducing tills this incident is to give the artist f an opening for fol a that will be full of Action I THe Tile Judge falls out of the machine and Maude Muller has him Carried into the house whereupon he lie calls caUs for a I drink The Maude Muller of 1906 knows better than to offer a Judge anything that comes out of a spring She brings him a Scotch When he arouses him himself himself himself self to the fact that she is Raving 30 Beauty and furthermore is highly cul cultivated the same as all aU the girls living in hi the country countr he forgets his resent resentment resentment resentment ment and they spend many man happy hours together l lu problem of La Ln Labor Labor bor and Capital hiIe he is being nursed back aek to health At t laSt last the Judge returns to town tom leaving Maude very er lonely lonel The wires get crossed and find he lie marries somebody y else She does oes the same necessarily Then both oCt em sit around reflecting on the old couplet Of O all aU sad words of tongue or pen The saddest are these it might have hate been Only they shift sh ft it around after a awhile awhile awhile while to read as follows Of all glad gl d words now no set to verse erse The gladdest are these It might have hae been worse orse A half haIr century ago when married people got ot in wrong and found that they were up against It their t lr only re relief lief lIet was to sit around and gaze into the fire and dream of what might have hae been They The were simply Stung StunS set settled tIed It ft i 0 Nowadays when hen Folks they thy have haye miscued the matrimonial venture they turn their troubles over oYer to a law lawyer lawyer yer In the revised version erslon Maude goes into court and proves that her ner husband invariably wears a l red necktie thereby many man hours of or acute aute a ute suffer t ing and that that sh no longer remain re under the same Gourt sets her free arid ande enters an order that she shall not be to marry again for two weeks I In the meantime the Judge proves iha ife has been excessively I r tl do snOt n t always alws s agree with aith him and of course his decree e J Then the Judge and Maude get to together gether get r and take the tall taU Hurdle hand In hand handIn handIn handIn In he the antiquated romance when Mrs E D N Sq was the Real Re l Thing the marriage of o the two would be the Final Chapter Chapler It will be recalled n that the Hero after and d backing ba b upland walk walking walkIng walking ing c through pages s of long lon conversations and arid weather reporter finally finaU came to Taw He found her in the Conservatory of oi else at the rustic rustle bench beneath the hawthorn ha tree with a 0 distant view of the Manor House the very er spot on oa which they first met tho the morning after ate Sir Guy was found murdered in the tha library Usually Ulman he lie would sneak from behind and lean Jean over then she the startled startlE little lIUe Cry he Agnes I lovo loe you your I r i love loe you ou I love you business oC of o Clinching quick curtain Such was the Happy Windup But It will no longer do doIt It Tt was once supposed that after arter tho the two went strolling the elms lm holding hands there was nothing moro morn moroto to be told But the modern problem novel noyel usually begins with th wedding march marth The Judge j dge following fO 1 the example or orthe orthe orthe the average Central Character r In the tho absorbing Story permits his lust for gold go d and poWer to lead him hint the th sinuous byways b ot of crookedness In other words he be becomes b becomes comes the Director of an Industrial Corporation and about the same time both bothOf of the great rent political parties lp s begin building a gallows for tor him Maude is by the th gUtter glitter of or High Life She learns to daily with Bridge Whist at ten dollars a throw She sh gets geta in plays tags tagi with the Ten Commandments and nd eata eats alight breakfast b consisting of grape grapefruit grapefruit fruit anda c couple uple of Martinis M about 3 in the afternoon In fact t ct Maude Mande begins b hitting the most elevated spots spot i 1 There is no reason whys she calm down and lf but for to some reason reason the 14 a week mor mortals mortals mortals who h live lle in ins suburban burban Hats IJ ts like to have thell served paprika dressing and sQ so the tIe poor Society Leader has to govern goern herself herselt accord accordingly accordIngly accordingly Maude raude gets to tobe be an Awful A Thing She is a anI night owl and becomes bi acquainted a with nearly nearl all aU of the club rowdies In the world except her own ow n husband AI last In ord order er r to keep leev up the race Pace she begins to flirt with the Dope When Whenever ever yer anything happens to worry her herShe hershe She simply l gets out Artillery and gives herself a Shot that blows the tha ribbons out of her haI Then The In a 0 few fe minutes she Is picking grapes and watching the Northern Lights Things go on m bad to worse until unlit Maude fooling with the Hypo one day gets an overdose and the Judge threat threatened threatened threatened ened with Exposure jumps off of ot the Brooklyn Bridge The moral of Qt the whole complicated ld story o Maude and Judge is that thaI alt all Souls should rma remar ir Poor and keep l away from Drawing Rooms where the Best Families arP arf wont to congregate It is 18 a good thing for fec Maude raude Muller that she wandered into the tie the field of Iio Rr I n mantic Fiction at al a time when all FP ee f had to tn do was to rake hay ha r d 1 I II 0 Y Ye I e F c 79 I Q 0 i I 0 S I I rj I 7 t S 14 I I J I I IL Z L i y C F I They Would Sick the House Detective onto Her 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