Show SOME SaM E SCOTTISH JOKES New York Tribune Ve John how are arc you OJ toda today asked a Scottish minister on oil meeting one of or his parishioners Goy Gey G Wel I sir pey e replied rf John cautiously gin ilu it for the thc rheumatism in he richt I leg log Ah John be b thankful for there is no mistake you ou are getting old like liko the rest of us is s and Ind old age Corne alone Auld age a e sir ir returned John I 1 II J I wonder to hear ye C Auld age has I tao tae dae wit VIt Heres my m ither I leg 1 1 as auld its md ind 1 yet et etA A boy boJ was holding a candle for his mas ter a plumber lumber in a Scottish town who was doing some repairs to a pipe inside Insl 1 a R dwelling house The boy bo carelessly I held the tho candle too near neal his hb masters master a head and up tip wont his hair in a n blaze blaz Time The master turned round In a rage and ancl said fald 1 You idiot Can you ou no watch what yere re doing The folk of the house hou Jl Il think yeve Cc be n singeing a sheepshead sheepshead head with the smell yere ere setting settin un Awed said ld the boy bay thc Jl no nobe nob nobe be b far A cheery cheel little fellow was accustomed to hear a servant in the tIme house always saying when she broke a dish that it was cracked before As soon oon as a n dish was broken the time servants e excuse have hae been heard all over the house housen It was cracked before One day the little lad tumbled downstairs and his mother cried in alarm Oh Tommy Tomm have hae you broken your head Tommy T mm got ot on his feet to scratched his head hea ad ald with a grin grimm Never er mind it was cracked cra before A well known Scotch r who was considered a respectable member of a congregation atlon was frequently e by bythe b bhe bythe the he minister to allan himself to be nomi nominated nominated nominated for the eldership He lIe always nut ut the matter off with evasive answers answer but at nt length the minister demanded the rea rca reason reason son for his refusal r Thus driven into a corner orner the tho worthy worth replied Man lan I won wonder wonder der tier to hear you ou Ol Mr 11 Ic ab Hoo can a aman man mait be bean an elder and sell a horse A say sa gran granma ma w hits whits a telephone ou Its something you speak sv ak into an folk can an heart hoart at thIther en n 0 o th toun Ara Are vou you a telephone hone granma A A telephone uc Whit hit dis th Ui laddie mean man manOh Oh paw pa say iw tae tac maw yesterday no tae tao tell yo ye c or it be ower a at th Ui toun in a crack A young Glasgow minister who wito thought lIm lf quite capable of making great im improvements performing his first mir mat ceremony asked aked the bride Do you take tako this man tasu in iii preference to lo every other man received the tho smart mart answer Dead no sir Id rath rather w hac The TJ o teacher was trying tr jn her best to show her class of little boys bos that God has bas given Kiven us ower to resist It tr If we wo determined to do so You should al always always ways turn turna a deaf ear to Satan But I IC cant C n t groaned a keen little fellow ellow 1 I bavent l nv nt got goto one c |