Show A Man arid a d f sMother w fly By Margaret E L Sangster A belle belief must have A orne me gr ground und to stand upon uvon or It It exist If there were no foundation for or It In fact there certainly 0 be less said about the strained re rC Ja that seem to be common enough when it Is a case ot husband versus No doubt in hundreds of cases a man Is very fond ot of his bis mother appreciates her at her ber full worth as an estimable woman and wel welcomes welcomes comes her whenever she enters his door It he has children Is she not their grandmother It If he loves wife does he not know that her mother Is precious and deaf and likely to be her daugh daughters daughters confidante and her counsellor on most occasions Why should their be frIction or jealousy or any entering I I wedge of d between connections who have So much in common and Who ought to be so conge congenial Ial Never i a resident fre frequently frequently is a thorn in the flesh to a avery a avery very amIable husband Unless she is a woman of and ex exceptional exceptional tact she sometimes takes sides in domestic discussions and some sometImes sometimes tImes assumes the needlessly on behalf ot of her ber own child when she Would much better remain silent or er ef face completely at Is 18 as a arule arule rule the happiest and best adjusted home In which dwell husband and wire wife parents and children and no one else I although they may be sensible and ople are apt to tobe be a little difficult because in the na nature ture ure of things they do not readily un tin understand one another 1 A home can be ideal unless there is In it a great deal of concession o of sympathy of mutual toleration n and of downright honest love That these qualities are not found in families composed ot of mixed elements Is unhappily patent to every Q mother maYbe may be the salt of the earth but her company in the evenings her unconscious criticisms her inter ference In the management ot of the chil dren and her little ways was In general may make her ber persona non grata to th the good goodman goodman man of the house heuse When John comes com home at night It annoys annos him to find mamma ensconced in the living room and to be obliged to walt wait until she ahe has before he be becan can pour out the story of his day in the ears ot of Edith If he isa is a gentleman he is punctiliously polite to his mother and tries with the UtmOst care to conceal any passing irritability which L ruffles his composure I lag Ing this Edith knows and her mother knows that John is not altogether at his ease and In consequence tie whole fam famIly lIy Ily are oblIged to walk softly as If i they were treading on thin Ic Ice The may be a saint or a ter termagant termagant magant It seems to make little dif dlf feren e to the average John to which variety she belongs It If he tells the truth he would rather not have her as a per permanent permanent manent member ot of his household This state of things weighs heavily upon a woman who has grown old lost her all in the mutations or of fortune or who by reason now hEr home and whose nat ral asyl asylum fu in th the hOue bOuSe of ber he daughter daught i When s befallen the mother it is Tight that her ber refuge e beside the hearth of her 0 own 1 whom she br brought up and whose hose de delight delight light it should be to minister to heid dIning years But when the mot mother eJ inlaw is In her prime in the dian summer of Ufe when she Is a aw awman man of decided views many and sufficient means on whIch to Jh e esbe she would not permit hers to bec an adjunct to her ber daughter nOr a han handicap upon the contentment of her daughters husband t No dearly she Edith and her children no h wi much respect and real liking she maya may have for John let her by all means cling cUng to her home and avoid I Ithe the place that an outsider must take tahe In Ina lL a family to which she Is not essen tialA tiaIA A visiting one who comes and goes and brIngs wIth her hera a pleasant waft from her own world is ison ison on a different footing When Chri Christ mae mas comes or a birthday or when in mIdsummer or Lent or at any time mother arrives for her sta stay of ofa n a Week or a month every one is glad John does not regard her ber with the en forced patience that falls upon hint him like a cloud when she stays all the time but has for her a warm handclasp a gay and the that dis distinguishes s1 es him im vh when n he is in his best mood What Whatever ver troubles in the course of their married life came to our first par parents eats Adam had the thc advantage over overall overall all his sons of having Eve entirely ly to himself There were no relations by marrIage to disturb such I harmony as was as the portion of the first wedded pair when Eden was left behind them and they be began gan their life Ufe beyond its gates Xo No doubt 1 the wives ot th early patriarchs had their good point as well as their fall Ings One thing they did They set the 1 fashion of the aUe in those almost prehistoric and nebulous da days of at the past But it Is a ways be it noted the mother of the husband is dominant and never never t I the moth mother r o 0 the wife She poor thing is the one who Is most unpopular and I Ile le least st imperious AU All through that ori or I civilization which antedates oui own by thousands of years cars it Is the husbands mother who rules and th tb sons wives who defer In our own day daya a wife generally her husbands mother with a degree of resignatIon to which a man does not attain If for foran an any reason John thinks it dE deSIrable hIs mother shall shah live in his hoUse Edith I not only agrees to it but treats her with nh every een consideration cheerfully accommodates herself the I caprices of r the older woman and gives her the best room in the house and the honored place at the family board I In all seriousness ness It may be said that I as a class have bave had hard measure in current opinion and have hae been somewhat unfairly treated in print if not in real life A must first have been beena a mother It may not have b been en easy I Ifor for her to yield what she knew was first place in the lire of her daughter or her herson herson son andree and iee It taken ken by y another but she recognized the Inevitable and pro proceeded proceeded to adjust herself anew I Jf John Johnwill Johnwill will be but fair he will put himself to some Bome extent in her place He swill try to accord her ber the affection that lie he would give to his own mother and whatever his silent protest rna may be he will wiIl never show it b by word look or gesture To do thIs may be necessary but how bow are we to live to together together gether at all in any an sort of decency Or peace unless we are Good manners says Emerson are made of petty sacrifices John would be capable of great sacrifices to please his bis wife Everything he doers doc Is for her every thing that he earns is laid at her feet he be Is far fron grudging her any relax relaxation relaxation or pleasure that he cai obtain for her and why should he not put it to himself that in no way can he please and serve her better th than n by rendering loving loing attention in little things to the mother who is next to himself her dearest friend and closest companion Cop Copyright right 1905 by Joseph B Bowles |