OCR Text |
Show TIIK LAlilKS. j The widower's noun "What is home without another?" It takes a girl seven wneks to learn to use her arma and legj at llm Siune time when swimming. A Chicago woman hiiFj'iii vented the nobbiest bathing nuit o! the suuaon. It consiats of a night cup and u puir of lubber slippara. A young French snldier was persuaded per-suaded lately by bin lady love to cut ofi' three of hia fingers, that olio might keep him at home. When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence com-mence to eat onions it itt anfe to prn-nounco prn-nounco them engaged. Queen Victoria is making a eollec tion of oil portraits of diatingtiinhed men and of personal friends. A eplflndid one oi Lord Beaconsfield ban ' lately been finished. Boston parties lind a swell wedding ! at Antrim the otlicr day, in which J tbe bride, groom, aud all concerned 1 were resplendent In the costume of ' one hundred years ago. Woman's right's folka ought to be proud of ft Hartford buuiue a firrr that employs an equal number of men and women clerks, and pays Ibe women the larger salaries. Impassioned lover, quoting Moore in a whisper "Our couch nhall be roses, bespangled with dew." Prac tical shop-girl "It would give me rheumatics, and so it would you." Xenophon Munn of 8towe, Iowa, who is fond of alliteration, has seven daughters named Luceba, Lucretia, Lucinda, Lucia, Lula and Lnna, aud three sous named Charles, Carroll aud Clarence. A Market 6treet lady purchased a nice new door mat the other morning , with the word "Welcome" Btamped thereon in glowing letters, and the first to come along and plank his number elevens on it was a book agent. The Detroit Post ungallantly saya: "Woman uuflrage would strengthen the government, eh? Where were SuBan B. Anthony and Lucy Stone and Jane C. Swissholm aud the real, while we were putting down the mob? Hid in the cellar, every one of 'em." An Ohio paper tells of the customs of some people of the state. VVhen a young man of Upper Sandusky calls upon a young woman of Upper Sun-duaky Sun-duaky he finds a Murphy badge on the corner of the center table, aud on the opposite corner the miniature of a mitten; and before proceeding to business busi-ness he is required to choose which corner he accepts. It was left to the proprietor uf a Brooklyn steamboat to conceive tlie brilliant idea of attracting custom to the llockaway excursions by a fret i invitation to 2,500 sewing girls from the City of Churches. The magnificent magnifi-cent Bpectacle of 2,500 girls in bath-; bath-; ing costume was a prospect that almost al-most depopulated New York and its suburbs the other day of the male filament. We have always pitied the little girl at the opera, who as she lay back in the luxurious chair of the box, utterly ut-terly weary, and sleepy, and bored, at an hour when she Bhould have been snug in bed, was aaked why she came. "Ob, 1 must, you know," yawned the little lady, languid ten years before her time, "we have season tickets." The trouble with a great many older persons is that they have "season licketa" for the good things of life and do not half enjoy them. The following conversation by a young couple is given by tbe Dispatch as overheard in the aquarium: "Whose darling 'ittle dir ley was she?" "Oors, petty." "Does she love her hubby?'' "Es, petty." Trim two other visitors came along, and oue ol them, pointing over the bends of the couple at the bud la Bportiug in a tank, said: "There's a fine couple. They're a pair of fools, but they're very loving. Where one gofB the other is sure to follow. I've wutchfed them for some time, and they're the most afleclion- I ate pair I ever saw," " What bit; mouths they have," Baid the oLher; "and they're flat footed, aren't they?" "Yes," was the reply, "nod some times they are very intelligent, but now you can see they don't loot as if they had sense enough to fco into the houso when it mina They're in love, I tell you. If they die here I mean to stufl them." |