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Show VAltlOCS ITEMS. Ladies are not permitted to wear their hats in the California theatres. Hayes says "Oh please just eleet me tlii time and I'll never ! nevr ! ! I NEVER I I ! aak you to do it again." j The Baptist Examiner, speaking of , the Methodist custom of admitting converts on probation calls it "roping them io." One half of the crowd of smokers can't tell a five cent cigar from a twenty-five cent one, except as they are marked on the box. Along the lines of street cars and in various other parts ol Philadelphia enterprising boys are doing a good business selling ico water at a cent a glass. In tho window of a shop in an obscure ob-scure part ol London is this announcement: announce-ment: "Goods removed, mtssugui taken, carpets beaten and poetry composed on any subject. A national mass convention of United Stales pensioners is to be held at Philadelphia on the 21st of September, Sep-tember, to bring about beneficial regulations in thoT special interests. 8. L. D. Your type-setting sketch is declined. Any man who is neaxt vnough to allude to female compositors composi-tors as "sotting hens," can't have any show on this paper. Wild Oats. Brother Moody is going to open a oew route to Zion from Chicago. He cheerfully oltervee; "With the thermometer ther-mometer at 100 and upwards in the mi ado, I have some bopos of im-preiwinK im-preiwinK thin stiff necked pvoplo with tho existence of a hell." Mrs. Barber of Ovid, Michigan, was recently bitten ty a rattlesnake. Her mouth and back turned perfectly black in a few moment, but a physician phys-ician packed her body in salted mud and administered antidotes in large quantities, and she will recover. Boeue, Fourth street, naar Spruce; actors, two mites of humanity, white aud colored. Colored boy "Youao DOthing but a d n democrat." White boy "I want none av your chm muiio. Call me some name U make me mad, an' I'll lick yur in a minute." min-ute." It is reported that Beecher has signed a outraot to lecture, which will yield him $40,000. Bidua, he RSts 120,000 a year from Plymouth church, In lay nothing of a bonus of H0.mK when lie is exposed as an adulterer, and is forced into court. Meantime his victim, Mrs. Tilion, works at sewing for a dollar and a quarter a day. Sun. American irls are prultv. but as a rule they aro the miwt utterly tiseleK of human beings. They toil not, neither do they spin, yet Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one fil thetje. It may well le a sorious question to any man whether ho can n fiord tu marry one of thetii. They can neither help him nor themselves; they ci pel all the good thing of llm world to fall iuto their laps without even reaching out tht-ir hands lor them. Tun liltlo town of Vermillion in Dakota territory, a short dm tat ice from Sioux city, is haVuig its moral atmosphere atmos-phere o. irrupted by a villainous church scandal, alter thu strict Hnmklyn type. Tlio man is Rev. S. T. Moore, a minister in the Meltio-dixt Meltio-dixt church, aud tho other side uiu-bra uiu-bra coa several of tho woman of Iiih llock. Like his groat prototype he claims Io he innocent and is alremly "on the raged edge," and as tho time approaches wheu Im is in bo tried in church, he is boiiininir to "wmh th.n I were dead." Thucmirch has rineu in ila indignation, and is resolved "to wipe out this blot upon its fair lume." They had hotter "wipe out" tho preacher. A HoOTCII paper gives the following inslanco of practical sympathy; A poor man who had a largo family broke his lfff, and as ho would bo for Aonio time destitute of Iho mean oil graoo, it was proponed to hold a prayer-meeting at Inn homo. The meeting was led by Deacon Brown. A loud knock at ti e door interrupted the service. A tall, Imik, blue-froekod blue-froekod youugnter stood at the door with an ox-goac. in his hand and imked to see Dvaoon Druwu. "Father could not attend this meeting," hn said, "but he sent his praysrs, aud they nro out iu the tiart." They wero brongUt in, in theslmpg nf poi. loett, boef, pork, and corn. Thu meeiing broke up without tho benediction, |