OCR Text |
Show THE LAWKS. No lower than fivo great bkaling rinki are now in operation in Loudon. Lou-don. Judgo UiMWurth'M daughter wa married on Tuthday, the Iblh hint., to John S. Saxe, won of tho poet. Tho lato Mrs. Andrew Johnson never fully rncoverod from tho nhoek canned by the Biiddeu death of her husband. Only forty yeurw ago a College for Kills would have been laughed at everywhere; now these iiustiulioutJ dot tlio civiliied world. A fifth avenue widow informed a friend at the funeral thutuhe couldn't tell wlutiher h.io would wear mourning mourn-ing or not until her huuband'a will wits read. "No, oir," said r. weary looking man on a street car to an individual by liisuiilo. "I wouldn't marry the best woman alive. I've been a dry g-ods clerk too long for that." Leap year parties are quite popular in the cast jtiat now. At these entertainments enter-tainments the relations of the (sexes aie reversed; tho ladies ask the gentlemen gen-tlemen to dance, wait on them at supper, and do the amiable gener-My. gener-My. ''l'ie,u" accept a lock of my hair," naiit an old bachelor to a widow, hand-nig hand-nig her a laro curl. "Sir, you hud I" Her give the whole wig." "Ma-dime, "Ma-dime, y,,u aro very biting, indeed, con.-idt ring j'jiir teeth are porcelain." A Newark girl is fitting herself to travel alone as a book agent. She has already found occasion lo horse-wnip horse-wnip two men by way of practice, and last S.iuday in church ehe Knocked a stranger down because he ankul if he unglit tie alio wiil to occupy oc-cupy the vacant scat beside her. "Ye?, I know who wears a seal-skin suit and a jet-black hat," said one woman of another on the streets yes lerday, "and she wears a silk dress, and jewelry, and feather trimminv, and Un-toeil show, but what ih her husband? what is he, I say, hut a whinky ttiieT and an alderman with a bleared eye, and a 'croked' nose?" Chicago Journal. Newport ia excited over a curious matrimonial complication. Some forty years ago a liireo-day old bride suddenly and mysteriously disappeared. disap-peared. Some time alter she returned, announced tnat she had obtained a divorce, and again vanisned. Nearly half a century goes by, and tho husband hus-band has now a family and is rich. The other day, alter forty years ol silence, she put in nu appearance a,-ked for her husband, claiming that her story alnut the divorce was a falsehood. Tne matter will probably come before the courts. 1 A sweet young girl went into a Cedar Rapids music store and asked the clerk, inquiringly, if he had "A Heart that Loves Mo Only?" "No," aid he, but here's "A Health to Tnee, Mary." Tiiat wouldn't do, but before ehe turned to go she asked, "Have vou 'One Sweet Kiss Belore Wo Fart?'" That Cedar Rapids , clerk looked up and down the store; the book keeper was out, the boss was up etairs trying lo sell a granger a I wheezy old melodeon, and so he 1 leaned over the co'iuter, and turned I out about half a dozen of the best and most artistically finished articles that I tne astonished young lady had ever Been oilernl in a job lot. She didn't say much, but shy went out of the store in a step and a half, and thoughtfully rubbed her cheeks all the I way home Burlington liaick-Eye. |