OCR Text |
Show ALL ABOUT ICE-CREAM. He alipped into an ice-cream saloon very softly, and when the girl asked him what he wanted, he replied : "Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles, and mince pie." "This is not a restaurant, this is an ice-cream-parlor," she Baid. i "Then why did you ask me what I wanted for? Why didn't you Dring on yur ice-cream 1" She went after it, and as she returned re-turned he continued: "You ace, my dear girl, you must infer you must reason. It -isn't likely that I would come into an icecream ice-cream parlor to buy a grindstone, is it? You didn't think I came in her to ask if you had any baled hay, did you ?" She looked at him in great surprise, and he went on: "It I owned a hardware store and you came in, I would infer that you came for something in my line. I wouldn't step out and ask if you wanted to buy a mule, would I?" She went away highly indignant. An old lady was devouring a dnh of cream at tho next table, and the stranger, after watching her for a moment, called out: "My dear woman have you found any hairs or buttons in your diBh ?" "Mercy I no!" she exclaimed, aa she wheeled around and dropped her spoon, i . "Well, I'm glad of it," he continued, con-tinued, "If you find any just lot mc know." She looked at him for half a minute, min-ute, picked up the Bpoon, laid it down again, and then rose up and left the room. She munt have said something to the proprietor, for he came running in and exclaimed: "Bid you tell that woman that thero were haira and bullous in my ico-creum ico-creum ?" "No, sir." "You didn't?" .iiw, on, a uiu noi; i merely requested re-quested her, in case she found any such ingredients, to inform me." ' "Well, sir, that wrua mean trick." "My dear Bir Baid tho stranger, Bmihngsottly, "did you expect me to ask tho woman if ahe had found a crow-bar or a sledge-hammer in her cream ? It ia impossible-, air for such articles to be hidden away in such small d inline." The proprietor went away, growling, growl-ing, and as tho alrauger quietly supped away at hia cream, two young ludiea came in, Bat down noar him, and orden-d some cream and cakes' He waited until tlioy had eaten a little, lit-tle, and then he remarked: "Beg pardou, ladies, but do you observe anything peculiar in the toato of this cream?" "They tasted, Bmacked their lips, and wore not certain. ' "Does it taste to you aa if a plug of , tobacco had lallen into the freezer?" he ankcd. "Ah I kah 1 they exclaimed, dropping drop-ping their spoons, und trying to apit out what they had ealou. Both rushed out, and it waen't loug before the proprietor rushed in. "See here, what in blazes are you talking about!" he demanded. "What do you mean by plag tobacco in the freezer ?" "My kind friend, I asked the ladies if this cream tasted of plug tobacco. I don't tante any such taste, aud I don't believe you used a bit of tobacco in it!" "Well, you don't want to talk that way around here!" continued the proprietor. "My ice-cream ia pure, and the man who says it isn't, tells a bold lie!" He went away again, and a woman with a long neck and a sad face sat down and said to the girl that ahe would take a small diah of lemon ice. 1 It was brought, and Bhe bad taken about two mouthfuls when ttie BLIUUgCl III41.III CM. U.1VJ, madam, but do you know how tliia cream was made have you any idea that they grated turnip and chalk with the cream ?" She didn't reply. She slowly rose up, wheeled around, and made for the door. The Btranger followed after, and by great good luok his coat-tails cleared the door an instant too soon to be struck by a five-pound box of figs, hurled wijh great force by the indignant indig-nant proprietor. Ad he reached the curb-sione he halted, looked at the door of the parlor, and soloquized: "There are times when people ahould infer, and there are times when they Bhouldn't. I suppose if I had asked that woman if she thought they hashed up a saw-mill in the cream she'd have felt a circular saw going down her throat." Detroit Free Press. |