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Show IXKLIXGS. Mark Twain i. on liis W:iy hoine. Ltllios arc nmony our export to Kuropc. An Oit.uva tiliim- W:is "t-kso.pil" In' a collision with a yoat llio other day. Jtuuc." ton v.il!.-MH piil.M.-Ii the bioraiiiy of his l.ito wilh, 'Fannie Fern. ine peopie think Clintnhdal's head will eventually lc loutnl in a guillotine basket. 1 WotKlcneks an rieetl :it ninety conU each on thu MiU of 1'aiv at New Yurk lvMaurant;. Tlie Lon.'on Tiitus is sorry to le.irn that Mr. Di.-raelli's new novi-1 hits not . even been eon 1111 enccii. A man-hater, in tlie G)-'ipJ,ic, de-noiuu'e de-noiuu'e the late Female Congress :is a body of men in petticoats. A rventm-ky row was curctl of a snake bite, by whisky. the sjiends most of her time koking for snakes now. A married man in IJuiT.do came near being killtxl by a spider. It was an iron one and hia wife had hold of the handle. Mr. Mellon swam across the Mississippi Miss-issippi where it was a mile wide l;ifl wo k. He comes under the head of watermelon now. Several Kentucky lawyers have recently re-cently been converted. It seriously diminishes tlie subscription lists of the Louisville journals. Antwerp City, a mushroom villi. ge m the oil regions, has entirely disappeared, disap-peared, ali the inhabitants having removed, re-moved, with their houses and cflecls. Some Chinese agriculturalists have been successfully cultivating rice near New Orleans, flooding their fields from tlie Mississippi by means of syphons. sy-phons. A facetious Massachusetts grocer announces on a placard at the door: "A fresh invoice of choice lickers.'' when lie receives a new lot of smnked tongues. Kate Stoddard nightly terrifies the inmates of Raymond street jail, Brooklyn, with piercing shrieks nnd cries. She ia putting it on lo develop the insanity defense. Ham Ham. In Chelsea, Sept. 24, by Rev. Sir. Titus, Mr. Elias Ham, of Dan vers, and Mrs. Lucie M. Ham, of Chelsea. "Yhat can't be cured must be endured." Joseph Arch states that he has been detained in Canada, and wili have to defer his tour through the United ; States until next spring and summer. : He sails for England shortly. 1 "I would advise you to put your head in a dye-tub, it's rather red," said a joker to a rather sandy-haired girl. "I would advise you to put yours into an oven, it's rather sol t," said Jfaney. - Tlie colored Baptists of the Southern South-ern Suites have resolved to practice "feet-washing" as a token of humility humil-ity ar.d love for one another. Whatever What-ever the object, the result wilt probably prob-ably be beneficial. One pf the plans proposed lo accommodate ac-commodate tlie thousands who arc to attend the centennial exhibition at Philadelphia is for the city to erect wooden dormitories on vacant lots, with saloons a in auic on the first floor.. A baby was born on a strcel-raihvay car in St. Louis. If it's a boy it ought to be christened H'os-car. New York World. But, as it's a gii-1, the mother has determined to name it Car' Hue. Louisville Coiiricr-Jounial. Coiiricr-Jounial. In Troy, on Wednesday last, a bunch of shingles fell from a wagon l on tho ferry boat nnd struck; fairly I on the head of a colored woman, who exclaimed: '"Y' oughterer b' shame to muss a culled wom'n's bar dat way. I wish do shingle fell ovah- A Pennsylvania clergyman has ' made a hit by introducing "personals" "person-als" in his prayers. For instance: "Lord, have mercy on John Shana-han, Shana-han, who keeps a saloon near the old red bridge. Either lay him on a bed of sickness or have him removed from this Krvn," An Oswego (N. Y.) widow left particular par-ticular orders that she should not be buried within ten miles of the sepulchre sepul-chre of the '-old man." She also desired de-sired that her dog might be killed, lest ho should visit an obnoxious neighbor. Finally, she requested that she might be buried in the finest coflin that could be bought for money, and that her pale form should be wrapped in a robe of white alpaca. Her wishes have been shamefully disregarded. dis-regarded. The ten miles were reduced reduc-ed to five; the dog still lives and barks, and the coffin waa a medium-cost medium-cost one. There will be some tall, rapping in that vicinity. j |